? For those women who practice NFP


#1

My husband I currently do not use this method, but now that I am getting back into the church of course I want to follow the churches teachings and use NFP.
We have one child and do not intend to have any more due to some serious health issues on my part. It would be dangerous for me and for the baby if I were to get pregnant again.:frowning:
That being said if we are using NFP we wouldn’t be doing it inorder to get pregnant.
From what I understand about NFP (which is very little right now), you must abstain during your most fertile period. Well, how as women, do you handle that? Because for me I am, hmmm, how do I say this…“more amorous”:blush: during my fertile period (of course) So, is it frustrating or difficult to only be engaging in intercourse when you aren’t fertile and biologicially and mentally speaking your aren’t feeling very amourous???
I should also note that due to some medications I’m taking my libido is very low and ONLY rises a smidge during the “fertile” time.
Any experiences or advice is very much appreciated.
Thanks,


#2

It was hard at first for me, but eventually I got used to it.

I had to train my brain to appreciate the little stuff (little hugs and kisses, cuddles, etc) instead of letting myself feel frustrated by thinking about what I couldn’t have at the moment.

It is best when both spouses are invested in NFP. Less mutual frustration, and more opportunities for mutual help when it comes to self-control.


#3

My husband and I don’t use this method either. I am just coming back to the church so this is really new to me. My husband was originally against it for the first few years but now he wants me to try it, not because of religious reasons either. The only problem is, is that I can’t chart to save my life plus, I don’t wake up at the same time every day to take a temp.

From what I understand, you have to take temps at the same time every day. 3 days a week I get up at 5am, two days a week I get up at 6:30am and the weekends I try to sleep at least to 7:30am since I don’t have to work. I have a hard time sleeping do to a sleep disorder I suffer from so I am not going to get up at 5am if I don’t have to. A lot of times I wake up feeling feverish so the temps wouldn’t be accurate either. I talked to a few people who teach NFP and they told me that NFP wouldn’t work for me. These are people in the church too!


#4

Naaahh… it’s about you, not the clock. It’s your waking temp that’s the symptom you want to track. You just need to be somewhat groggy when you take the temp, not all the way awake yet. If the room is warmer than normal like it can get if you sleep in during the summer months, that may throw things off track, but other than that, you just have to make sure you get your temp taken when you wake up while you’re still a bit sleepy.

Did they say a particular method wouldn’t work for you?

I was afraid of NFP myself till I learned about it, and learned about myself and my body. It’s not rocket science, I’m no genius, so if I can do it, just about anyone can learn.

As for not being amorous unless you’re fertile, I don’t have any advice cuz I’m the same way. It is the downside of NFP. I guess maybe that’s where romance comes in, and that being the case, well then the fellas need to step up! Some flowers and sweet talk, and taking the trash out without being asked to do so would go really far with me… :wink:


#5

#6

Sounds to me like you need to choose a different method of NFP! Luckily, some methods, like the Creighton Model, do not rely on temps AT ALL. Creighton is solely based on your mucus patterns…I like it, I think it’s pretty easy since you’re only looking at one thing. creightonmodel.com/

As for your desire for your husband being the strongest during your fertile time, I think most women would agree with you. I know I do. Dr. Janet Smith says this is basically God giving us a little shove in the back…He wants grandbabies! :slight_smile: Having to postpone indefinately due to health problems is a hard cross to carry, but for whatever reason, Our Lord has chosen to give this special burden to you. I think through prayer you and your husband can allow this difficulty to strengthen your marriage and your love for one another!


#7

You’re right, in general most women are more “amorous”, as it were, during their fertile phase. I guess I just redirect that desire towards looking forward to phase 3. I tend to focus more on “flirting” with my husband… and that helps my desire stay high even into the infertile phases…

First of all, you don’t really have to take your temperature every single day. Once you become familiar with YOUR body (everyone is so unique!), you’ll be able to temp less often with the same effectivity…
I usually only have to temp for maybe 10 days (at most) out of my cycle…
You can make adjustments for time differences… I’ve never really had too many issues with that.

HTH!


#8

Thanks for the reply! Well, I don’t think that would work for me because my cm (along with my cycle) isn’t normal unless I eat right. I have an eating disorder, the past 2 months has been bad for me, so I had cm 3 seperate times since I had my last period. Funny thing is, I was at my doctors office today and I was discussing all of this. My doctor said it’s normal for an eating disorder to cause this. She advised me to stay away from nfp too, but she isn’t an advocate of it. I will check that link out anyway, thanks!

If it involves charting, forget it, lol! thanks for the tip though!


#9

Actually, NFP is EXACTLY what you need. Your CM happened 3 times because your body was under stress,. Your body is putting off ovulation so you wouldn’t conceive during stress. Your body is working correctly.

Sounds like you need a new doctor. Doctors that don’t support NFP honestly have no idea about the accuracy, benefits, and health solutions available

Creighton method helped me figure out the difference between the different types of mucous (I had cervix problems and PCOS), and it was all because of Creighton that I got these health issues fixed.

Please go to www.omsoul.com there is a LOT of information regarding all of this, along with good doctors.


#10

I am sure that you could find something wrong with every method of NFP. But it is the ONLY approved method of spacing children. ANY other method, the pill, IUD, condoms, etc., is not approved. The only other choice is to abstain from relations.

What you need to do is to meet with an instructor. Any instructor should be able to talk to you and figure out a method that would be best for you. Then go from there.

And many doctors still think that NFP unreliable. They have not taken the time to find out about it. My GYN lists on my file that I use, “NOTHING”, for “birth control” since I didn’t fit their mold of taking birth control pills.


#11

Yes, that is true, I am very stressed which is a part of why I have a sleeping disorder, this is what my doctor said.
I wish I knew for sure that I couldn’t conceive during this time in my life because of stress, then I would have no problem taking chances.
I will check out that website, thanks!


#12

I can find a lot wrong with other methods too! I went on the pill when I first got married, I stopped in mid pack because I was getting sick on it. It may have been that particular brand. I didn’t even give it enough time to take effect. And I am allergic to latex in condoms, though I know there are other brands out there that are not latex.

My husband and I work long hours for a stressful job so we don’t have sex that often. Anything that involves a lot of work isn’t worth it because I am so stressed out and tired, I can’t focus on anything else but looking forward to going to bed just to sleep. Same for him. The only problem is, I have a sleeping disorder. I get up all during the night. Sometimes I can’t fall back asleep. Like this morning, I got up at 3:30am and been up since.

Thanks for the tips though, I will look into what you said.

I am just coming back to the church, but my husband isn’t so he is totally for artifical birth control. But he wants me to try nfp just because I can’t do the pill. It took him a long time to even get to the point of wanting to try nfp. Not because of religious reasons either. That’s another story.

Edited to add: I just went to www.omsoul.com to check the doctor list. There is only one doctor in my state listed, and they happen to be on the other side of the state from where I live. Too far of a drive, it’s quite a few hours away from where I live! :frowning:

Edited to add again: Actually, forget it, he is a podiatrist so there isn’t a “doctor” listed on that site at all. :frowning:
That’s okay, I will check out the rest of the site, it looks like a nice site.


#13

about omsoul… call other doctors close to your state, perhaps they know of docs near you that are at at least open to NFP in some way…better than others.


#14

Just a note, my dh and I have found that we are actually making love more often with NFP (We use beads to help chart CM…not old bead method, just a visual…a joke is that he’s the “gold bead man” :stuck_out_tongue: ). But seriously, I agree with Malia that coming to a greater understanding of human sexuality has helped me immensely with my mindset towards intercourse and changed my desire for it for the better!


#15

I believe that women who are on the Pill also face this problem, as the Pill usually suppresses ovulation, and ovulation/the symptoms that come with it is what makes many women feel amourous. (I took the Pill for a period of time in the past, so I do speak from experience.) So, though with NFP, we abstain during fertile periods if we are using it to avoid pregnancy, we aren’t missing out on much more than the women who are on the Pill.

I also struggled with the idea that I would be missing out on that amourous time, but that is only because I was off the hormonal birth control and was actually able to feel amourous. Is this what you call a catch 22??:shrug:

In any case, congratulations on going with NFP. We have found it 100% effective in avoiding pregnancy, and then achieving pregnancy right away when we were ready. The Art of Natural Family Planning** was our guide to learning NFP, and it was so educational that I sent a copy of the book to my non-Catholic sister. She was very happy to learn how her body works and commented that it’s too bad all women don’t have that knowledge.

One more thing, for those who don’t want to chart, husbands can do the charting of temps for you in the AM. (I suppose they could also chart cm if the wife shares the info daily). NFP allows teamwork instead of one-sided responsibility.


#16

That depends on how good one’s husband is at bringing out one’s amorous side… :smiley: He gets a chance to woo you all over again every cycle. :wink:


#17

I’ll second that. That’s one of my favorite parts. DH wakes me up in the morning, and hands me the thermometer. He charts my temp. I don’t even have to move! And the rest of the time it’s a question of watching for the other signs and telling him every day.

One benefit of this for husbands, is that they know their wives’ cycles and can brace themselves for any PMS issues…


#18

about omsoul… call other doctors close to your state, perhaps they know of docs near you that are at at least open to NFP in some way…better than others.

Don’t give up on finding a doctor who is at least knowledgable and respectful of NFP. My OB is not on the list, as she unfortunately does offer contraceptives, but she at least has a very good understanding of NFP. I’ve brought my charts in when I had questions and she took it totally seriously.

I found her by calling the local pro-life group and asking them for ob recommendations. Other possibilities would be trying local homeschooling groups, or inquiring at whatever parish in the area is on the more “orthodox” side of things. Trust me, the women who’ve been dealing with this for a while share through the grapevine who is (and is not) sympathetic…

Good luck,

Margaret


#19

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