[quote="user3856530, post:1, topic:234593"]
I feel like I'm being forced into getting my child baptised, because of the following reasons:
- My wife would like a baptism to introduce the child to the world. It's a formal way of doing this.
- We won't be able to get our child into a school, because unfortunately all the schools where we live are catholic.
- We don't want our child to feel 'left out' when all the other children are getting their communion money etc.
I don't want my child baptised because:
- I want our child to have the choice. There is no longer any going back from baptism. Once they are baptised, they can no longer opt out.
- I no longer believe in most of the catholic faith, and find much of the doctrine offensive (stance on homosexuality, attitude towards women, etc, etc...)
- God granted us our wonderful gift through IVF. I hate the idea of bringing the catholic church into my child's life, when the catholic church would rather our child (and others) didn't exist.
So what to do? I suppose I know what's going to happen.:(
1) Most simply put. Baptism is NOT an introduction to the world. It's more like a protection of the soul. The church as you know acknowledges ALL baptisms, under a Christian faith. Do more research.
2) Odd about the Catholic School/baptism thing. I went to Catholic school with lots of non Catholics. Do you live in a HUGE Catholic area? Where perhaps, the school fills up with it's own population first? Or is this a house rule? This is not a rule of the Church.
3)Again, you don't want her left out because she's not participating in COMMUNION? Or because she's not getting a prize. I mean really, what's it take to hand her a $5.00 bill on the same day... I don't want you left out honey... go nutz?
4) One should make choices on FACTS, and things they are educated on. Perhaps if you choose to have her baptised, you can agree with your wife, that no one is pushing your child towards confirmation until age 17 or so. So let's say your child is old enough to join the Army, she can also decide if she'd like to confirm her faith in God. Please don't confuse witholding information as a choice. Realize of course, that if you present multiple contridicting information, a choice becomes about what feels better, and not necessarily about what's right and wrong.
5) I can sort of understand the bit on homosexuality and such. I have a handful of homosexual friends. Love them dearly. They are God's children too. The church says they are acting out sinfully. That I allow between them and God. As I SHOULD. As I would any other sin. If they try to TEACH their sin (say to my children??? Not gonna happen)... that's a whole nother story. But compassion is the way to go. I have NEVER, as a woman felt oppressed by the church. So, I can't be a priest. And a man can't be a nun... Seems the same that I can't be a Dad, and my husband can't have babies... Big deal. Labels are normal...
6) I can speak to IVF too. As this is how I had children as well. I will tell you what I tell others. And what I'll tell my children should they ask. ALL Children are a gift from God. God was hurt by ME for not trusting that he'd give me children. For my lack of faith. Not ANYTHING to do with my children. At all. I was ill advised, and educated about the process. I blame my blind desire, I hold accountable priests that don't teach otherwise, and written, approved teachings that allow too much room for interpretation... But it's on me in the end. In the end the ONLY thing I regret is hurting God. And THAT is what I've asked forgiveness for. NOT my children. I should have trusted that he'd deliver these wonderful people to my life regardless! There is no tricking God. I suppose part of my penance is reading threads like was closed yesterday further down this section. It's full of such tasteless posts. It's also full of lots of wrong info about IVF. Yet, accurate about what the Chuch truly teaches. All in the name of providing information. I'm better about not getting angry. People really don't understand the situation until they have personally lived it. It's VERY easy preach about things you have no experience with. I have NO desire to hook up with the same sex. I haven't cheated on my spouse, stolen things... etc. And I think I can say... You know what? If a man murders a child, I'm sure I'll have a human emotional response that says, Hunt him down like a dog, and KILL HIM! Don't let him loose on the public. I might even be willing to pull the switch... HOWEVER, I can accept, by the Grace of God, that if this man is truly sorry, and he asks forgiveness of God. I KNOW it's within God's grace to allow it. He knows all of our hearts. He knows if we're REALLY selfish as you and I are called for wanting children AND doing IVF. A comment that's meant to cause more pain, and be hurtful.
I was told once by a person that he didn't want into a heaven that would let vicious murderers in. NOT ME... That's the EXACT kind of heaven I want into. The one that knows that we blow it over and over again, and are still loved. I hope to qualify... you know????
In the end, it sounds like you've made a choice not to be a practicing Catholic. However, you say things that make it clear you are not making an educated choice. I would challenge you to educate yourself first. It's probably what your parents needed to do to help you understand the reality of the Catholic Church. Please don't short change your daughter... You choice greatly impacts her. It should be with all the information available to you today! Just like all the other ones you make for her. (I assumed daughter. the him/her get's crazy!)