Foreplay

Ok, sorry about the blunt thread title, but at least I’ve gotten your attention!

**This is a rather explicit sexual question and not one asked for prurient reasons. If you are offended by it, then don’t read on.
**

So, I’m trying to live in accordance with the Magisterium, but I’m having difficulty finding information on a rather delicate subject - foreplay. My understanding heretofore had been that anything is permissible so long as it leads to intercourse (btw, we *are *talking within marriage, in case you’re wondering) To that end, I sometimes allow my wife to use her hand to stimulate me sexually, but not to the point of ejaculation. I consider that the “cut-off” point, for want of a better term. My question is this: is it the case that pretty much anything permissible as foreplay so long as it is not in and of itself intrinsically disordered and an objective sin? I have asked a priest in confession and he has is of the opinion that so long as there is no ejaculation, then manual stimulation of the genitals is permissible; ejaculation is only permissible where the act is open to the transmission of life. I’m reading this to mean that as long as there is no ejaculation, and no otherwise sinful action in the foreplay, then go for it, whatever floats your boat. However, I’ve been reading some opinions lately which hold that even manual stimulation is sinful, and that pretty much nothing except the deed itself is permissible. The question is, what, if anything, does the Church say? Is non-ejaculatory foreplay permissible?

Mustard said** : “I’m having difficulty finding information on a rather delicate subject - foreplay. My understanding heretofore had been that anything is permissible so long as it leads to intercourse.”**

This is my understanding.
My local Priest told me the exact same thing as yours did.

In EVERY intercourse, there is SOMETHING going on, besides pumping.
Kissing is Foreplay … Hugging too.
Boobs are there to be touched, as well as several other Body Parts.

And, "I have asked a priest in confession and he is of the opinion that so long as there is no ejaculation, then manual stimulation of the genitals is permissible."

But, the MAIN thing to do is talk with your local Priest.
Oh, you DID already** !**
If he says it is OK … then it is OK-enough.
I mean, you don’t have to “Call the Vatican” on this one.

If it were NOT for a little manual stimulation, some of us would NEVER progress to finishing up.
So, in SOME cases, it is a MANDATORY prelude to fulfilling one’s Marital “Duty.”

The Catholic Church encourages people to get Married, and to have Sex.

But : "However, I’ve been reading some opinions lately which hold that even manual stimulation is sinful, and that pretty much nothing except the deed itself is permissible."

Wow**!** Grab a Boob, and then you have to go to Hell . . . Hmm, I don’t think so.
Hey, you didn’t just kiss her on the Neck, did YOU? . . . 5 extra years in Purgatory. Hmm, nah.

Trust the Source.
If these Opinions were expressed by Cardinals, then I would Believe that the Church has a Policy against Foreplay.
But, if you hear from other Sources (non-Clerical), then don’t lose any sleep over it
As a matter of Fact, don’t lose any Pre-Sleep Activity over it, either.

Foreplay is necessary for a woman in order to prepare for penetration or else it will be very uncomfortable for her if you know what I mean. Women don’t just go from zero to penetration. Foreplay is a normal part of sex and is not wrong. And like someone said, kissing is foreplay and anything else prior to and other than penetration is foreplay. So it sounds crazy to say foreplay is wrong.

Ignorance is bliss, and culpability is a blessing. Let’s just keep it at that and not ask too many questions if you know what I mean… ;););). (Wink, wink wink :D)

I have to say that you did the right thing in speaking to your priest. :thumbsup:

As for the actual act, remember that it is unitive and open to life. So, as my own priest explained, as long as it isn’t something intrinsically disordered or evil, and it brings you both together to become one flesh in an openness to life, then you are free to do as you will.

The caveat he placed was CCC1749, we are to act within our conscience.

Indeed, Foreplay is a continuation of the wooing and courtship, in marriage. Yes, being mom & dad is a great gift; but the physical love that the couple share is also beautifully designed to join the married couple closer.

If you think and believe that foreplay are immoral, are against the natural moral law of the marital act ,and thus are sinful, there are many issues and problematic. That is very weird and even it is a sign of a crazy theology. You are not ready for the marriage, the marriage is not for you;

If you think and believe that sexual foreplay are immoral, are against the natural moral law of the marital act ,and thus are sinful, there are many issues and problematic. That is very weird and even it is a sign of a crazy theology. You are not ready for the marriage, the marriage is not for you;

The foreplay and the sexual foreplay are rights, obligations and duties for each member of couple, in the respect of the natural moral order of the marital act. It is not negociable, *in my humble opinion. *Only a mutual temporary agreement between wife andhusband, for particular reasons, could be possible.

The doctrinal exclusion of foreplay and of sexual foreplay in the context of the marital act is against the structure of the marital act and is against the rights, the duties and the obligations of each one. This moral theology is dangerous, is heretic, is crazy, is a shame, is stupid, it is a disease of the intelligence of the understanding of the real.

I personally never thought that foreplay was immoral or against the strictures of the Church; however, as I explained above, I’ve recently run across some conflicting opinion and since I know of no actual pronouncement on the issue I posted in order to get more information. As I thought, the individuals I’ve been reading are not speaking for the Church. Thank you all who replied.

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