Sorry to burst in before reading the rest of the thread, but I have little time and don’t know the name of the thread as I got here by mistake.
The problem seems to be that you are looking at religion, particularly the Catholic religion, as though it were a government. They are different.
The Catholic religion is all about having a relationship with God, one which deepens throughout one’s life so that one can spend eternity with God.
It’s more like a marriage manual than it is a legal book.
Imagine if you gazed longingly at a person of the opposite sex: what would your spouse think? Would he/she think, looking is not a problem, it’s only a problem if s/he does something? or would s/he think that looking could easily lead, if not this time, to doing something else?
so today I give your son a tetanus shot with gladness at his pain, what might I not do tomorrow? And if I follow that path, where will I end up?