i never feel forgiven/loved by God. i use to spend hours in prayer (perhaps tryin to earn this love)… i got burn out. i keep sinning, and every time i do…the spiritual side of things suffer, for example …i wont pick my rosary up… also, i can’t get to confession, or Church, due to ill health, for a few years…i dont want to go to Hell. please if a priest is reading this… forgive me my sins. God seems miles away from me… i feel everyone else is in the fold … except me.
Do you still feel sick or do you feel it is an emotional response to the anxiety you have?
Feelings can be deceptive. We shouldn’t look to that as a way to measure love, ours or God’s towards us. He LOVES you more then you can possibly “feel”.
“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
You may be focusing on God’s justice more then His mercy right now.
And yes it is very normal to feel an overwhelming temptation to stop praying especially when you are in serious sin. It’s the devil’s trap. Which is why I hope you will find the strength to go to confession and focus on God’s mercy. He’s always waiting.
Also when you pray try to give God a chance to answer. He speaks so much better in stillness and silence. Ask Him to help you trust Him and for His peace.
I hope this helps. God bless you. I will say a prayer for you.
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
The Cure for Anxiety
25“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28 “And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 “Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 “For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Priests often make house visits. It sounds like you may not be able to go to Church for confession or mass. Call your local Church and tell them about your situation, and ask if the priest could visit you to give you a confession, and the Eucharist. And maybe anointing of the sick.