Something has been bothering for the past 1 month or so.
A very good friend of mine has been lying to me on a certain thing.
The story is as follows.
My good friend (for almost the past 2 years) is in her novitiate as a catholic nun in US.6 months back I discovered from a news paper online that has circa 1 million readers per day (online and print) that her community is a bit into Yoga.
In July 2015 my friend immediately after moving to US from her native country did mention in an email that she did her first yoga during a retreat arranged for her and other new entrants but it did not catch my attention then somehow. Now I wonder how on earth I missed that. The news article also had a picture of one of their sisters teaching yoga to the new entrants.(which included my friend too) I realize that there are plenty of arguments in favour and against Yoga (as a health and fitness option. I will not get into any such discussion here). When a catholic nun/Catholic nun congregation endorses Yoga like the way they did in the news article it is extremely dangerous as many people would think Yoga is “OK” and they start taking Yoga classes which could end up in them being drawn too the spiritual part of it which is not at all catholic. It leads people to Hinduism often. I have been trying to tell this to my friend and also to advise her to steer clear of Yoga as it CAN lead to disastrous effects. My friend does not live in the country where I live and she won’t be using a mobile phone for at least an year. So only form of communication is email.
Now I told her in April that I want to tell her many things about Yoga and invited her for an email conversation on this matter. My friend rejected this idea saying she is “very busy” until her formation ends (which will take another year) .So I suggested she listen to what I have to say.(listen to my monologue instead of a dialogue)
She kind of agreed but mid way through my email exchanges she asked me to stop trying to educate her about Yoga- the reason she is too busy to even read my emails. Reading my emails won’t take more than 30 mins. She said she will read after an year (i.e when her formation ends) The excuse is the most ridiculous part- “No time to read my Yoga emails and articles on Yoga that I send her”.Reading the articles on Yoga will take time, but I did not give assignment to read them and submit a report of her understandings with in next two weeks. All I said is go through them as and when she find some time but I did make it a point to ask her to find some time ocassionally to educate herself about Yoga and its dangers.It seems that my friend has “decided” that she will have no time for the next year. Basically what she is trying to do is to “silence” me with a ridiculous excuse.
However I occasionally find her posting photos of beautiful roses and blueberries etc…in her
FB etc… So she does have time.The funny part is she wrote to me on 3 occasions explaining why she does not have time to read my emails. The time taken to write those emails would have been enough for her to read my emails. In one email I sent her plenty of articles to read her about Yoga.She does not even seem to have opened it.
So the issue here is my friend is lying to me because she seems not interested in hearing
another opinion on Yoga / she does not want to be challenged on her beliefs about Yoga.(I perceive this whole incident in that way) When people whom I trust and care about, lie to me, I feel it as a betrayal. This person in the past two years have shown a great love for me on several occasion often like a sister,but this whole Yoga thing seems to spoil it. I don’t want to hate this person just because she rejected/lied me on this Yoga topic. I can easily tear apart her silly arguments with evidences but I want to forgive my friend and move on as I realize in tearing apart her reason I could end up tearing apart the person itself and not really the arguments. I too had others who have patiently endured my silliness and immaturity in the recent past more than once. However I am not that spiritually mature to forgive someone who kinda hurts me by means of a lie. I can try my best to forgive but I think there will be some “anger/resentment/grudge” remaining in me. I (lets say I am able to forgive her 70% but there will be some negative feelings 30% remaining in me).
I am looking for some motivation to TOTALLY forgive her and love her like before.Certainly I have lost some of the love and respect that I had for her due to her dishonesty on this “Yoga issue”.I get extremely pissed of when people lie. (especially when it is by those whom I really care about) I do realize as a human being she also has many shortcomings and this could very well be the only one sin that she has committed in the year 2016. Also she might have many others issues her own life which I am not aware of owing to which she may not want to add one more issue (i.e confusion on whether Yoga is good/bad) I felt several times telling her that she is a LIAR and stop lying to me but refrained from doing so as I know that it will hurt her a lot.This person is very sensitive I suppose. On her last email sent to me 2 weeks back she says that she understand that I am upset at her refusal to listen to my opinion on Yoga but expresses hope that we remain as good friends. But again she uses “I am busy” reason for her refusal. I feel like giving her a tit-for-tat response but I fully realize that my call here is to forgive her and be grateful for all the love and concern that she showed me in the past 2 years or so.