Form of idolatry

My sister will skip church, work, class and put her life on postpone for a man. She will walk the long way to class or work. Try to plan coincidences. She applied to a college to be with her boyfriend. They are not together. Is this a form of idolatry? To let yourself become obsessed with someone. She will cry for weeks over a three month relationship. She cannot seem to accept male rejection well. She will call or text them after they end. She will pray the rosary many times after a breakup. She cannot handle it or she will become suicidal.

I wouldn’t call it idolatry.

Females often have an overpowering need for the male relationship; it’s natural. It’s just how female bodies work, something that is impossible to see clearly from inside a male head (Am I correct in assuming you are male?)

Guys can be just as pitiful over female relationships, but this is rarer.

**However! **If she is in fact “suicidal” over male relationships gone wrong, that’s another matter entirely. Get help for her. M/F relationships come and go; death is forever.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA


no. I am female. I do not know why men just do not care as much naturally. Why does God make it this way?

It’s the way the heads are wired. Females have larger communicative centers and emotional systems. They also are more aware of their bodies, so that the physical aspect of the M/F relationship impresses more deeply upon the mind.


Why don’t men care?

I respectfully disagree - this is not normal behaviour for a woman. I wouldn’t call it idolatry either, but I would say it points towards severe lack of self-esteem and independence. If she is indeed “suicidal”, I agree that help is needed urgently, but help is still needed even if the “suicidal” part was an exaggeration. It is never healthy for a woman to obsess over a man or a man to obsess over a woman.

In my opinion, if she spent a few years being single until she is comfortable in her own skin without a man, it would do a world of good.

But unfortunately it is often very hard to get through to people on issues like this. So try to help her, but don’t wear yourself out.

I think the suicidal threats maybe for attention. She has anxiety. There are women who do not get attached after sex or at least this attached. The only thing good about this is she often becomes closer to God. She will attend daily Mass, pray the rosary, etc. It is difficult to watch someone lose sleep, cry often and isolate themselves over a guy.

Hmmm, a lot of women I know just can’t get by without male companionship, however I don’t know if they are the majority of womankind.

Personally speaking, I like male companionship but I do not lose sleep or my appetite if I find myself without it.

Some do, to an equally pitiful extent; but very often the emotional amplitude isn’t there to the same extent because again, the heads are differently wired.


I agree, I have a relative who behaves in a similar manner. But we could do nothing to make her see that it wasn’t good. It was not nice to watch.

I don’t think that men obsession is rarer. Why do so many men abuse women?

Men handle rejection different that woman. When a man obsesses over a woman he is more apt to stalk her. Men often resort to drinking. Women may turn on themselves. Men often turn on the woman.

It’s not about men vs women and how they react/act/behave.

It’s about how we expect people to behave towards us.
Obsession. People can obsess over their china collections, teddy bears, men, women, their kids, competitors, smoking, drinking, the list is huge.
All obsessions, all unhealthy.
It comes from not having balance in your life. Me me me. That kind of approach will scare any possible mate off. Relationships should start slow. That way, if it doesn’t pan out, there’s not your entire life invested. Later, marriage is 100-100. Not 50-50. We should always be putting others first if reasonable & possible. Not to be as doormats, but to be truly self-giving and loving towards others.

This is pretty sad. Why hold men on such a high pedestal? Especially men who do not give a care about you. Her dying will not change his opinion of her. The only people it would affect is her. It is difficult to watch someone waste away while the person they are so concerned about could care less. Women never do this to yourself. Men are just naturally detached. I hope she never commits suicide over a boyfriend, fling, or lover. Men are not that important. She is still young there is hope. Lol. It is difficult to watch someone fall into depression over a man, especially one who really does not care. On the positive note, she is back to going to church. Men have to be one thing that keeps her away from God. If only she spent all the time she dedicated to men, to God and improving herself.

Maybe I’m the exception, but I cared. I know plenty of other men who do, too.

That is rare. I think most men who sleep around generally do not care.

There’s a big difference between “most men” and “most men who sleep around.”

It’s hard, but it strikes me that you’re not being very compassionate toward your sister. If she’s making suicide threats somebody needs to be notified. If they’re serious she can get help, if they’re not she’ll hopefully learn to be a little less dramatic.

It seems like every break-up heightens her anxiety and falls into depression. She dates or “fornicates” with such jerks. Where does she find such jerks? Some of the things men have done to her, I cannot believe people actually act like that.

She has no problem ditching people’s graduation just for a man. What kind of problem is that? She always has to be the center of attention.

As the brother of a suicidal sister, let me urge you to get off the computer and do everything in your power to help your sister.
My sister has backed up her threats of suicide with 7 or 8 attempts. Take the threats seriously, she is begging for help,.

Get her help. If you can’t do it, tell someone else who can.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit