Fornication wrong in ALL cases?


#1

About a year ago one of the priests I know was talking to the Newman Club to which I belong. He informally spoke about all the different guys and gals who come to him wanting to get married, and how he had to explain to them the waiting period before getting married during which the soon-to-be married must undergo a certain course.

In any case, Fr. X mentioned, to my suprise, that he saw nothing wrong with an engaged (though not yet married couple) to live and copulate with each other (they’re going to be married anyhow!..at least that’s what it sounded like he was saying). I’m not sure if the Fr. was joking, or if he was serious about giving his blessings to this sort of activity. Could someone please explain to me if this is horribly wrong?


#2

[quote=Madaglan]About a year ago one of the priests I know was talking to the Newman Club to which I belong. He informally spoke about all the different guys and gals who come to him wanting to get married, and how he had to explain to them the waiting period before getting married during which the soon-to-be married must undergo a certain course.

In any case, Fr. X mentioned, to my suprise, that he saw nothing wrong with an engaged (though not yet married couple) to live and copulate with each other (they’re going to be married anyhow!..at least that’s what it sounded like he was saying). I’m not sure if the Fr. was joking, or if he was serious about giving his blessings to this sort of activity. Could someone please explain to me if this is horribly wrong?
[/quote]

In our case, we had been married by a judge and already had three children, and our pastor chose not to require us to live separately before we got our marriage blessed. That may not be completely orthodox, but this pastor, retired now, can hardly be considered “liberal” by any stretch. If I recall correctly I he explained that he could have required it but he had the authority to grant leeway depending on the particular circumstances.

In the context you presented this, it is very surprising. Whether or not he thinks it’s wrong, it would seem like he has a duty to teach what the Church teaches anyway.

To the question “wrong in all cases” I’m not sure I can answer that but it sounds like your question is really “OK in all cases if engaged” to which I’d vote no, but love to hear a theologian try to defend. (Defend the teaching, not the sinner, of course.)

Alan


#3

Yes, as far as I know it wrong in all cases. That priest wasn’t teaching Church teaching. Nowhere in the Bible or the Catechism are any exceptions made.


#4

It is horribly wrong in all cases! That priest just has no back bone and would rather be judged by God for teaching error than to upset a young unmarried couple that wants to have sex!!


#5

i will never forget in the early 80’s going to an marriage/engaged encounter training session for those couples who were going to head up marriage/engaged encounter weekends…

the priest who was running the meeting had to have been in his late 20’s if not early 30’s… anyway, he proceeded to talk to us to prepare us for meeting with younger couples who might already be doing the married only deed…

He talked about how things were not always black and white, he talked about shades of Gray…

bottom-line? I knew that this was not the guy for this job.

Trust me… doing the married only thing is only right within marriage… black and white… NO grays…

Peace :thumbsup:


#6

[quote=space ghost]i will never forget in the early 80’s going to an marriage/engaged encounter training session for those couples who were going to head up marriage/engaged encounter weekends…

the priest who was running the meeting had to have been in his late 20’s if not early 30’s… anyway, he proceeded to talk to us to prepare us for meeting with younger couples who might already be doing the married only deed…

He talked about how things were not always black and white, he talked about shades of Gray…

bottom-line? I knew that this was not the guy for this job.

Trust me… doing the married only thing is only right within marriage… black and white… NO grays…

Peace :thumbsup:
[/quote]

Hey SG,
Can’t believe we agree :smiley:


#7

Yes, I remember the early 80s as well, and the pre-Cana counseling which basically said, “If you yourself feel in your heart that what you’re doing is not sinful, then it isn’t sinful.” (I mean, if you’re MARRYING the person it’s going to be ok afterward, so why not before, if you’ve pledged yourself to him/ her).

Which is why I am almost RABID about the need for PROPER CATECHESIS to, not just our youth, but to ALL Catholics. I can’t believe the misinformation, the heresies even, that I, who THOUGHT myself a good practicing Catholic, swallowed --and the harm that it did to not just me, but my family as well. While I have forgiven those who were innocent victims themselves in passing on what THEY sincerely believed in, that doesn’t make them any less culpable to Almighty God for all the souls who were steered incorrectly into sin and perhaps even damnation. If they had been better prepared, they might not have fallen into that sin.

Catholic relativism. . .what a scary thought, and scarier reality.


#8

as I have said many times on this forum, I belong to the first generation that had the option of living together before marriage, due to BC and cultural changes, and we are the first to have first hand testimony that it leads only to disaster. The people, including priests, doctors, parents, so-called friends and others who told us it was okay to sleep together and live together before marriage (and of course to use ABC) LIED to us. Look at the divorce rate in my generation, especially among couples whose kids are already grown and have found that without sex and kids they have nothing in common. Look at the couples who stay together due to economics and convenience but have never developed intimacy outside of bed, so when that goes, it all goes.

If you would like to insure that you both treat each other as objects, rather than people, during your lives together, and vastly increase the likelihood that you will divorce someday, then by all means live together before marriage, and use ABC before and after marriage.


#9

[quote=aimee]Hey SG,
Can’t believe we agree :smiley:
[/quote]

scare myself sometimes too! :smiley:


#10

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