[quote="ChosenAndCalled, post:8, topic:212601"]
I can't let this one go without comment either. I don't know if Foster parenting is the right thing for the OP, but I do know that it can be an amazing experience and a wonderful way to have about the deepest impact on a person's life possible.
My wife and I have been in FP for several years. Over the last 13 months we have adopted three girls. They are amazing, beautiful, smart and loving. Oh, yes, they are also broken. I don't mean that in a pejorative manner, but the fact is: when the God ordained bond between birth mother and child is broken, there is an emotional cost. Our daughters have issues that come from this break, but nothing that can't be dealt with. They, like our other children, need help to overcome their struggles and be positive, capable adults when they are grown. We're not blind to the possibility that our daughters will have significant problems in the future. Our 7 natural children came with many of the same issues, though. Some of our children were born with significant health or intellectual challenges (or both). When you are a parent, you are out of control of certain aspects of your life.
Each of the birth parents of our daughters was a child in the foster care system themselves. If the cycle of fail isn't broken, generation after generation suffers. To me this is a visible example of the sins of the father being visited upon the children.
I know many people in the FP program who are very happy with their roles. It is a difficult place to be sometimes, but Jesus said, "When you do it to the least of these, you do it unto me." If these kids aren't the "least of these", then no one is.
I'm sorry that the above quoted poster is bitter about his/her time in FP. No one I know feels the same way as this person.
FP is about being a servant to another person. Sometimes being a servant isn't fun. I've been threatened by birth parents who are high on crack. I've wondered if our family is safe at times. I've also had each birth mother ask us to adopt their child when the state finally removed the parent's rights. I've had them in my home for Thanksgiving dinner when they were alone and feeling bad. It has given me the most tangible experiences with helping other people in my life. I am thrilled to be a FP and treasure all the experiences, good and bad.
I don't consider myself bitter, so please don't say that. She asked for advice and I gave it based on my experience-almost eleven years. She said she would have a hard time missing work for calls in the middle of the night. Foster parenting is harder than regular parenting and she is a single woman. Will she able to miss work if the child is arrested and she has to be in court? If they are expelled and they have to be supervised at home for the duration of that expulsion(6 months to a year)? Will she be able to cope if the child falsely accuses her of abuse and she loses her teaching license over it? Will she be able to handle it if after all her years of dedication the child never speaks to her again after eighteen? What about if they set her house on fire or break up her future marriage. All these things have happened to people I know. If the answer is yes, then maybe she should proceed. If she feels this might be too much for her, maybe she should wait and have children with her future husband when she has more of a support system. Teaching has a major impact on children and not all foster children are capable of responding even with the best parenting. I'm glad you have had a good experience, but there is another side of the coin, and I hate to see her get in over her head. She is doing a great thing by being a teacher. It is certainly her decision whether to proceed or not. It isn't going to hurt her to hear both the pros and cons.