Four months after leaving the SSPX

[Dear Moderators: I write this in the Traditional Catholic section of the forum because it largely relates to feelings of someone who left the SSPX, and seeking advice of other fellow traditional Catholics, who are more likely to have experienced simillar situations. However, if you believe this should be in the Family Life or Prayer Intentions forums, feel free to move it,]

I remember listening to an interview of a right-wing deputy of my country, who had been a high-rank communist, where she revealed some details of her exit of the communist party milieu. She related how she suddenly found herself without friends and, she said smilling, with no coffee shop to go to (as all her former “friends” were communist and disproved of her change).

Please do not assume I’m comparing the SSPX, which has plenty of good things, with the demoniacal communist ideology, because I’m not. However, the details of that interview came frequently to mind after I walked away from the SSPX. After more than two years of total commitment to the “cause”, I found myself pretty much without friends (with the exception of a long-date friend), and, most of all, feeling tremendously isolated. After leaving my gilfriend due to other issues (as I described some months ago here on CAF), this feeling of loneliness became even more pressuring, and, I believe, is leading me towards a depression.

Yes, I know, perhaps the feeling should be the opposite, as I shifted from a small group to an huge reality: the Church! However, I believe those of you who have been SSPXers can relate to this: the SSPX is a family, and, specially if you are very commited to it (I did Chartres-Paris 2 times, I went to Écône, etc.), and thus you feel very integrated.

Now, on the contrary, I feel quite alone! I don’t feel confortable in any parish in my region (there is not a single EF, not even a latin OF), and the parish where I feel better (which has a reverent OF) is not my home parish, and although I spend much of my time there, I don’t have a close relation with the priests nor with any of the parish staff. Parishes look so closed (even my home parish does)!

Also, I’ve been being tempted (yes, I know it’s a temptation, even my parents, who are’nt practicing Catholics have told me it’s a stupid temptation) into thinking that perhaps I’ll never find a girl that I could marry, because in my country/region traditional/conservative catholicism is pretty much non-existing. The only “conservative” group that is active here is Opus Dei, and I don’t feel confortable with their spirituality (Opus Dei is great, but it’s just not for me).

Once again, perhaps former SSPXers can relate to this: when you’re a young SSPXer, you are within a circle of young people commited to the Church (in their way), and even if you don’t find a girl within your chapel, you’ll sure you’ll find one at Post Falls, St. Mary’s or in France.

Up to now this has been a huge rant, but my purpose is to see if anyone relates to these feelings and/or has experienced the same, or if you can give any encouragement.

After leaving the SSPX, I immediately joined the Confraternity of Saint Peter (even if the nearest FSSP chapel is some 600 miles away), so I could feel I belonged somewhere (even if only spiritually). I’m planning to start practising a martial art (Krag Maga) and to attend some FSSP mixed retreats in the future (perhaps a good way to find a prospective spouse). Do you have any further suggestion?

Of course, I would be very grateful if you pray an Hail Mary for me. This whole situation is not being easy to overcome. However, I hope this doesnt’ sound like I regreat having left the SSPX. Nothing is better than to feel and to be in full communion with the Vicar of Christ. Ubi Petro, ibi Ecclesia.

Prayers are being prayed.

By the way, what do you mean when you say you ‘did Paris-Chartres’?

Actually it was Chartres-Paris. It’s a pilgrimnage hosted by the SSPX every year at Pentecost. Not to be confused with the Paris-Chartres pilgrimnage, which takes place at the same time, but with the opposite direction, and is hosted by an association close to the *Ecclesia Dei *movements.

Prayers going out your way!

You’ve probably done that but I’d mention SSPX in confession and inquire about any ecclesiastical penalties that could need to be removed. Sorry for lack of other suggestions but I’m not great when it comes to a feeling of belonging. Been a struggle all my life. Don’t reject your “normal” parish, see if you can get involved.

Thank you. I’ve mentioned it, but I don’t think there are any canonical penalties involved (specially because I started attending the SSPX after the lifting of the excommunications took place).

I have not experienced this in terms of SSPX but merely from switching parishes. My wife and I both went through RCIA and were confirmed in the Church last Easter. Shortly after confirmation we moved across the country and of course, into a new parish. The parish had just received a new pastor as well.

It has been 6 months now and we are just really making friends and starting to feel like we are part of the parish. We have gone to several activities, parish retreats, formation programs, etc. and just lately we really are getting to know people and are fitting in.

The moral of my story here is that sometimes it just takes some time for you to feel comfortable. If there is a parish that has an OF Mass which you like, I would go there and start getting involved. Some people are big on the “home parish” thing but everyone is different and respond differently to God’s call. If you know of a place where you could be happy and grow spiritually, you should go there. Give a few months of being active and involved and I think you will be surprised at being accepted.

Peace, and God Bless.

I am part of a Traditional Latin Mass community, completely approved and supported by our local Bishop - we have had two marraiges and one soon, possible engagement within our community recently. All three situations the young people met on the internet via a singles website for Traditional Latin Mass Catholics. Our community is very small, so to have such good success so far with this speakes for itself.
If being a Traditional Latin Mass Catholic (I don’t know of any better phrase) is the most important criteria for you, it would be wise to check out this option for finding a like-minded bride.
Oh, and one of the couples that was married this past Summer just told us they are expecting their first child :smiley:
Good luck and God bless~

I don’t know where you are located. However, since you mentioned looking for a FSSP parish, I thought you might see if these groups were more local. My understanding is that all celebrate the EF Mass and are all in full communion with the Holy See.


Thank you. I know all these groups, but, as I mentioned, there isn’t any EF (nor latin OF) nearby. The nearest EF is celebrated by the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate, almost 150 miles away from me.

It’s not much of a consolation, but you can watch the EF live every day at

Thank you :slight_smile:

I sort of get it. There are communities of like minded people who live within a certain conceptual context, and they grow very close. Once outside the community, it can seem that one cannot be truly close to anyone, because there is too much that is shared within the community that is not shared outside it.

I have never lived within a community quite like SSPX, but there are other kinds of “communities”. I went to a Catholic college that really was Catholic, and a Catholic grad school as well. Coming out of that milieu was strange because there was so much i had learned to share that I came to the conclusion that no closeness was possible outside that community. There are other examples of that.

Some of the Church “movements” are like that as well.

But there really are other communities, they’re just not as complete; not quite on “all fours”. As a small example, I am Catholic, Irish, Italian and Alsatian in a sea of Scots-Irish Fundamentalist protestants. But there are commonalities I have with them that even someone otherwise just like me, but from somehwere else, would never have. Even one’s parish is not quite a community. There is too much variation. Still, to me, there is a community, at least with some. One’s own family is, however, the ultimate community.

We live in a world that is becoming increasingly alien. It isn’t just “inside SSPX” and “outside SSPX”. We’re absolutely enveloped with the Culture of Death, it seems, and it’s as alien as alien could be. How could we have come to a situation in which Catholic institutions are ordered to provide birth control, abortion and sterilization to their employees? How did it come to something as alien as this? Did it seem so much more alien to the first Christians, seeing blatant advertisements for gladiatorial games and brothels? Perhaps, but only in degree.

We do know, however, that the early Christians did do that, and they made their own communities and they kept their faith and their sanity. But living in an alien environment made selection of one’s friends and loved ones so much more difficult. Yet they did it. In fact, they seem to have reveled in it. They found that there were many souls lost in the sinks of iniquity to whom they could bring hope and salvation.

But again, there is the family; the foundation of all communities. Ultimately, you will find a spouse, and you will have your children and your grandchildren. You will have your work associates and the others with whom you have contact.

In short, you were once in a “monastery” of sorts. You are now a missionary in a “foreign land”. Let me be the first to wish you well in that endeavor. :thumbsup:


Very kind post and spot on. Thank you very much!

No problem. You had mentioned FSSP but not any of the others so I thought it might be worth a shot.


What penalties?

I have gone (almost) exclusively to SSPX. Chapels for Mass for the past 4.5 years. When I know, due to time constrainsts, that I will be unable to confess to my regular confessor, I go to a local NO Parish for Confession. I have developed a nice rapport with a particular Priest over the last year or so there, and really appreciate his counsel in the Confessional. He knows I do not go to the NO Mass, and go (almost) exclusively to the Society.

Neither he nor my Society Confessor see anything wrong with this.

I don’t mean to derail the thread, but I think its important to clear up the issue chevalier has brought up.

sicutincensum, you are not alone! I go through the same situation. I lost many friends, and I wonder if I ever will find a girl that apprecites my faith. Everyday I am tempted to go back to my promiscuous lifestyle. Being traidtionalist is very hard, especially if you live in a liberal city, which I am sure you can relate. Your fellow Catholics don’t even like you because of the spirituality one has chosen. Many days I feel so alone and get tempted to just go back. But I guess this is my cross to bear and if it is I only ask God that he gives me the strenght to carry it. By the way Martial arts is great! I am going back to training once I get some free time, nothing improves discipline like MA. The only advise I can give you is to pray.

May I ask what traditional Latim Mass site that these people came together by, even though I’m in Canada?

Hey, original poster, I am just curious, can you share what made you want to go to the SSPX in the first place,

But furthermore, why did you leave? This is more important to me. I need to know what reasoning or whys were there to get you to leave the Society. It’s just there’s someone I many need to talk to in future regarding this “issue.”

I don’t know the name of it, but I can find out. It doesn’t matter that you are in Canada - one of the young ladies from our Latin Mass community here in California met a Canadian on a Trad dating site, and now she is his bride, living in Canada. :slight_smile:

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