four play

My husband loves four play. He could spend an hour engaging in it with me. I on the otherhand am so tired lately that I would prefer 5 minutes of four play and then just get to “business”. I tried to tell him this a few times but I feel bad. He enjoys me and I love him for that and I don’t want to disapoint him. But the other night after about 20 minutes of four play, I started falling asleep.My husband obviously got annoyed and said, am I boring you? I feel bad when this happens and lately it is often (we have 3 young children and are trying to concieve again so for him it is open season lol) but in all seriousness, I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this kind of situation. what did you do?:shrug:

Maybe pick a time of day when you are more energized? That might help. I enjoy foreplay…and I’m thinking back to when our kids were younger. Truthfully, it was easier when our kids were younger to find time to be intimate. If we disappear now for an hour into the bedroom, our kids KNOW what we’re doing. lol:blush: :stuck_out_tongue: But, I remember having one ear on the kids when they were younger, and one in the bedroom with hubby, so I sympathize. I think maybe plan some quiet time together…it is nice to be spontaneous, but maybe your husband could be flexible in that regard. Good luck, and God bless! :slight_smile:

I had to giggle, I thought this was a thread about golf!

Maybe pick a time of day when you are more energized?

Right now that is hard to do. The baby is at that hard toddler stage where she no longer naps during the day so I don’t get a break and she is high energy. so really we only have the evening after all 3 have gone gone to sleep which is around 8 to 8:30. But my husband likes to unwind and have some alone /quiet time for a while at this point so he usually doesn’t come to bed till 9 or 10. by 10 I’m usually asleep (my kids get up supper early).
That is the challege.

I had to giggle, I thought this was a thread about golf!

lol, oh yea, I gues it is supposed to be spelled foreplay. whoops.

*lol@kage… :rotfl:

luv2learn…maybe after the kiddos are in bed…you can initiate while hubby is unwinding…you’re still wide awake…maybe just flexing the time up an hour can make all the difference for you guys! :)*

I know this is a dilemma for you right now, but I just have to say YOU, my friend, are one lucky woman! An hour? Wow… just… wow. :eek:


You started falling asleep? Ouch. That had to have been a serious blow to his ego.

What about early morning? I know you said your kids get up super early, but could you wake up just a bit earlier to get some time in for that?

I would think that you could both kind of compensate for each other somehow? Maybe you make some time for him either right before you fall asleep or in the early morning, while he maybe doesn’t engage in the foreplay for so long.

And I don’t think you should beat yourself up too much over being so tired. It’s different for guys. They’re able to focus on one thing, where as for women it’s harder to just focus and be in the moment at all times. I mean, if he’s focusing on his time line, then it’s going to be hard for you to enjoy it I would think, which would make you want to do it even less.

Have you talked to him about it?

hahaha i have been in this exact position. honestly i just tell him i cant handle it any longer and really want him bad!! end of foreplay on to business!!! or say ahead of time that its a “quickie” day. i love quickies! one other trick that may or may not work is sometimes we are both exsausted and after a couple of hours of sleep when a child wakes up to go to the bathroom and i have gotten them back into bed i will crawl into bed and snuggle up and sometimes thats all it takes. then we are both a little more rested and can have a midnight interlude.

I have 3 little kids and I work overnight…so I am always tired…I totally sympathize…I love my husband but I’m so tired…:frowning:

Tell him that you love him and want to make love . However some times you are tired and just want a “quickie” and other times the longer sessions are wonderful. Seems a fair compromise. Make sure you are making times for the longer sessions even if this means babysitter, hotel room ,kids having overnight stays with family -whatever…Plan for some of the longer times. Making sure you get a nap in and do what girls often do in preparation for lovemaking. It adds to the anticipation and your energy. Also, make sure you are eating right and taking supplements to keep your energy up. Go get a physical if you haven’t. Just to make sure it is just natural tiredness.

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