I’m…I’m not even sure what to say about this. Anyone want to offer his or her thoughts? Help?
Over the years that followed, I became more dedicated to reverent Masses, excessive availability of Confession and Adoration, teaching about the beautiful devotions of our faith, especially a devotion to the Blessed Mother. I fell more deeply in love with God and more deeply in love with the rich treasury of our Catholic faith.
But, here was the devastating part of that change in me. It offended my uncle , my godfather and the inspiration for my priesthood. He became distant from me, and only had time for the “liberal” priests of our diocese. At my 25th anniversary – it had become so bad by then – I was actually surprised he showed up. He was cold and distant from me, and managed to utter one comment, just before he concelebrated the Mass with me (that was offered ad orientem): “I’ll try to endure this,” he said. You can only imagine how deeply that cut into my heart.
You see? I became the enemy. My crime? I fell in love with the “whole” of our Catholic faith, not just what seemed to be allowed after 1965. My love for reverence and the Sacraments and devotions and the Blessed Mother and the teachings of the Church was considered “divisive” … I was “the problem” in the Church today, in his eyes, and in the eyes of all who seemed to “hate” everything the Church was, prior to 1965. “We don’t want to go back,” they would say with a terrifying scowl on their faces. It was tough to take, my uncle seeming to “hate me,” but I couldn’t water down or protestantize my priesthood in order to gain esteem in his eyes. All I could do is suffer the loss of my godfather, the priest, the inspiration for my priesthood.
As I looked down on my godfather’s gray, lifeless body, knowing we had been separated for 20 years before that day, I blamed you , bishops! It was your effete, weak, compromising with the world “leadership” that emboldened all of the Fr. Don Murrays of the world to hate me … to hate us. You are the ones that guarded your gay, radical priests, while you chastised anyone who dared to actually love the rich treasury of our Catholic faith or challenged our people to strive to become saints.
Unlike the mighty bishops who came before you, you are the ones who never believed our people were capable of growing; of living a superior life in God’s good graces. Do you believe in grace at all? For you, living a life of virtue is an unrealistic goal; certainly not anything anyone is capable of living. your weak, effete “leadership” has made “us” the enemy because we actually believe we are capable of living as our ancestors once did … lives totally dedicated to God and His way, not just the way of the world. you blame us for dividing the Church, when all the while we are trying to live in union with the Church as it was for 1965 years.