Well when it comes to hazing, you got some that’s pretty black and white and then you have some that really fits into a gray area. When you start talking about hazing, it can be easy to jump to conclusions that you doing something like making them drink alcohol til they end up with alcohol poising and the such. But then it seems after reading some of the rules, it’s like I’ll start scratching my head say, “huh? Is it like the only thing we can do is to ask them to come over make sure they have a coke, and we will perform a show for them?”
I am in a fraternity too, when I was an active member living in the house there was always that dilemma. I guess I’d say I would never put someone through something I wouldn’t want to be put through, also given that the pledges are always pretty anxious. Considering what I thought about what I went through and talking to others, what I’d actually like and what I’d think is powerful and really would have a deep impact on me and my character, yeah some of that stuff would actually be considered hazing by the university. I really didn’t want to have a walk through, but I wanted to think I could prove something to myself. At the same time, you don’t want to anything that is just meaningless and degrading, or have to fear for your safety.
To me, this process is always something that is going to have a lot of dialogue with the brothers, especially the ones in charge of the chapter and the pledges. Your really going to have to have control over what you are doing and know why you are doing it, and to make sure it has some meaning to the mission of the fraternity, the chapter, and each individual as a person.
One bad thing is the whole chapter is mostly made up of men from 18-23, and they don’t exactly have a lot of maturity of many years as a responsible adult. I remember a couple of people telling another brother, “But we do care for you, that’s why we make fun of you.” The sad thing is its actually true. I don’t think its that uncommon for guys to make fun of another in a group, but if another not in the group starts to do it, they’ll come down on the outsider. But those two didn’t really realize what they were doing to that brother.
I guess for your questions, if you think it is really bad and a clear violation, you probably should go to the university and the fraternity headquarters with it. If its more of a gray area, people aren’t really getting too hurt by it, but it really doesn’t seem right, really go bring it up and get it out to face it as a chapter. You know what the mission of the fraternity is, you have the Church, use those as a guides. It is always important to how you bring pledges into the fold not to go stagnant, it needs constant vigilance to make sure it is good for each individual and the chapter.