my friend is from an abusive family, she sys she is often beaten and verbally abused. social workers and police have been involved. she has finally left the house for now and is in university residence since she is now 18. no one really believes her though, her siblings won’t talk and her parents say she’s just making it up
but she just tole me that she has been self-harming. she says she feels guilty because she feels like she has caused her parents grief and that they do still try to help her with certain things, like driving her places, paying for school, buying her things, ETC… she is seeing a counsellor but apparently the counsellor told her that a little bit of self-harm is no big deal and “at least she’s not trying to kill herself”. I found that shockingly unprofessional of a response, but I don’t really know what to say to her, she didn’t really want to listen to me, she said she had under control, which I am sure she doesn’t. I finally got her to agree that we would discuss it more over the weekend. any suggestions of what I could say?
I honestly understand the guilt, I have some similar issues, as some of you know (though it’s not nearly as bad as hers). how do you understand a dynamic where people help with you a lot of physical things (rides, shopping, food, EtC), but meanwhile act like ypu are a burden, and call you names, swear at you, get physical, when they are angry? you end up feeling like maybe you are ungrateful for the htings that they do help with. is there a justification for this kind of behaviour?
also, for her sake, and a bit of mine, what are some good tips to convince your parents that it’s a good idea for you to move out? without causing an all-out war? it’s kind of cultural that it’s akin to abandoning your family