Friend spending the night

I have a friend who’s traveling and is going to stop by and visit.

I’m male and she is female.

In any case, she would need to stay the night.

Some relevant details: First, this is my parents’ house, so we wouldn’t have the place to ourselves (I don’t own my own apartment.) Second, I’d sleep in the family room, and she would take my room—no sleeping in the same bed.

But I’m unsure whether I’d be committing a sin or not even under these circumstances. Any input would be appreciated!

Is this your parents decision?

I can’t see how this is a problem. Are your parents going to be there? Do they know about it? How old are you?

What if you were traveling together and checked into separate rooms in a hotel? Would that be ok?

We sin by putting ourselves in danger without a sufficient reason. And we tend to overestimate our ability to resist temptation. We also sin by giving scandal to others. I’m not saying whether or not your scenario violates these facts of life, but I would consider them when making your decision.

No, it was my idea.

Yes they will be there and will know

no i am not traveling with her

I am 24

You extended an invitation to someone else to stay at a place that isn’t yours?
Well, if your parents are ok…

Why is a hotel room not an option for her?

You’re 24. not a child. Your parents are there.
If you can sleep in another room without sneaking in on her, peeking at her, or thinking lewd thoughts about her, I’d say, you’re fine. Be a grownup already.
There’s no church law against hospitality. That 's all this is.

well lol sure because I have permission to do so

well, that would cost too much specially since the trips from la to washington…as a college student, it’d be way cheaper just to stay over

I’m just not sure what the Church teaches about thesw situations

sounds reasonable

It’s fine. For all kinds of pilgrimages, host dioceses sometimes have people stay at the home of volunteers… sounds like the same deal…

Perhaps your taking friendship to seriously,
I can’t see how this could possibly be a problem unless you create it into a problem ,

If your folks are ok with it, and it is only one night, I don’t believe it to be a problem.

Don’t make it a habit thought, temptation does exist. :slight_smile:


I second this. It’s not like you are trying to sneak her into your room in your parents house. :rolleyes: Your parents will be there, meet her if they haven’t already, and she is a guest, the same as if **they **had been the ones to invite her, or your cousin, or your aunt.
Don’t overthink this one.

A safe hotel can be 69 dollars a night. A paltry price for a woman’s dignity.
All you will get here is opinions. Some will say it’s fine others will not. The sin would not be in you two being under the same roof but rather the sin of scandal. That may or may not apply. But apart from a in standpoint just on an honor standpoint and an adult standpoint there are better, more adult solutions. A hotel is one.
What would she do if you weren’t there?

You have permission to have people sleep in your bedroom from your parents? Is this a standing permission?

A hotel is the honorable thing for her, and you. Much more chivalrous than you taking the couch and her cuddling your blankets…

Thank you to everyone for your input

No problem, good luck to you whatever you decide! Friends are nice.
Maybe someday it will be more…:slight_smile:

Oh, give me a break. Scandal for who? I’m sure that the neighbors don’t even know the girl and, in all probability, could care less.

Sir Lancelot would be proud. :rolleyes:

Clare had the best answer on the thread; “Be a grownup, already.”

I don’t think this is a problem. AFAIK even the Duggars and Bates let opposite sex friends, including “special friends” stay on their property, though granted they have much bigger houses than most people.

It wasn’t even considered scandalous for courting couples to stay in the same residence in separate rooms in Regency times 200 years ago – think of Pride and Prejudice, with Jane Bennett staying with the Bingleys for days after catching a cold while visiting them.

Cheap $69 motels aren’t always known for being dignified, respectable bastions of morality, either. I stayed in such a place once when I was short on cash, and I hardly slept a wink, fearing someone was going to break in and rob me or worse – I felt terrified from the moment I saw how the hotel clerk was barricaded behind both bars AND (I assume) bulletproof glass! :eek:


just want to point something out. Jesus stayed with mary and Martha, over several days after lazarus died, which would certainly include nights as well. gasp it is possible for it to be simply just what it is.

no, we shouldn’t purposefully give scandal, however, I actually recently discovered that it is also a sin for the person who claims to be scandalized. especialy, if it concerns things that are not actually sinful. they are presuming and assuming without knowing the cfacts. it’s certainly not good for one’s spiritual health to try and see scandal everywhere

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