Friend texted me she has a girlfriend

I haven’t been friends with this girl that long (about 2 months). She told me she had boyfriends in the past and recently admitted she is bisexual. Earlier today she texts me that she officially has a girlfriend now (text included three smiley faces). I haven’t texted her back yet. I’m sure she expects me to say I’m happy for her, which I’m not going to, because that will look like I’m condoning lesbianism. How would people here respond to something like that? Thanks.

I would probably ignore it. But then, I ignore most of my texts.

It is impossible to know what she expects without asking her.:cool:

You have choices.

Do nothing.:slight_smile:

Do something.:eek:

If you do something then what you do will be perceived by her however she percieves it.

You can text.

Thank you, for the information.

I would ask you not to text me again.

I pray you find truth.

I don’t condone abnormal sexual behavior, please do not respond…

Do nothing is a good message…

It’s rare that I agree with Coptic, but in this case ‘do nothing’ is a good idea.

It doesn’t burn any bridges but it doesn’t signify approval either.

Unless she starts shoving it in your face, but that’s probably a long ways off if it ever happens.

There is one thing you can do aside from ignore it:

Just pray for her. That’s usually all you can do. :rolleyes:

I’m wondering how your gonna handle her bringing her girlfriend over. You can ignore a text but when she brings up her girlfriend in person you cant ignore her obviously.

What is “texted?”

Seriously, you first answer is probably best. Holy silence is often the best course. Then in the course of conversation you might be able to explain why you are not happy for you. Maybe. Serious discussions are best conducted face to face.

“I have often regretted speaking, but I have never regretted keeping silent.” – St. Arsenius

Myself if you want to keep this friend I would let her know right off where I stand. Do some witnessing. Tell her your a catholic and don’t believe in homosexual actions though God loves all people.

I love that signature animation!


If you think texting your friend a reply will “condone” her sexual lifestyle, which you think is wrong, what about when you hang out with her-- dinners, movies, coffees–and the girlfriend is there in the flesh? That would be even more so.

If you thing gay people should not have romantic relationships with the same sex, but, your friend is blissful that she has a new girlfriend…it just seems you two see life so differently, perhaps you should part as friends.
She will expect you to embrace her new girlfriend and when you don’t, it will be hurtful to her.

Does she know you’re Catholic?
Even so, she might not even know your feelings on her being bi-sexual as many non-Catholics don’t know the specifics of the religion.

There’s a chance that if you tell her what you believe, she herself may end the friendship.


Thanks everyone for the responses. I am going to ignore it for now and if I see her in the future take it from there.

I’ll honestly tell you right now that I’m borrowing (stealing) that line. “Holy silence is often the best course”.



*(edited to correct typo)

You have chosen to do nothing.

Understand that all we can do in life is speak and act. All understanding comes from communication. Understand that communication is also lack of communication.

Ignoring the text is communication and you may want to prepare for her next step.

She may…

think you did not get the text
call and ask why you did not respond
text again

She also has the choice to do nothing or do something

You would do well to rehearse what you will do if she does something…

Do you want to continue the relationship?

Do you want to end the relationship?

Notice that none of these decisions as I have pointed them out are jaded by approval or disapproval or how you see what she does and what you do. These sorts of statements cloud the issue and are called content. Content is known to you and to make a decision content is not essential. Content is not necessary for anyone to provide or sollicit. You know better than I do what it means to do something, do nothing, continue or end the relationship and you have the ability to filter content.

These decisions will be the driving force and motivation for either doing something in the next step or doing nothing.

I have to put my two cents in here and I have really enjoyed the responses so far. Since your friendship is so new there is a strong possibility that you have lead her to believe you are OK with her bisexuality. You state that you recently learned she was bisexual, what did you say when she revealed that? It is important to be direct and honest with your friend before this goes much further. I agree with those who have suggested discussing this face to face. Sometimes when you let something go too far it’s hard to straighten things out because you have stayed silent too long. With that in mind I would prefer the course where you tell her you have to talk something over with her and at that time you let her know where your faith leads you in this matter. Praying for you.

I would just ignore it. Or say something neutral like “Ah I see.”

If she senses a disapproval and asks me further questions, I’ll tell her about my views without sounding preachy.

Remember the law of love is superior to the law of sin and death. It’s not the person it’s their behavior.

I know. :slight_smile:

Did I say something that made it sound like I believed otherwise?

Though I understand your concerns the conversation kind of sounds like your more concerns about sin than people. And I understand sin is important. But remember when Jesus was eating with the publicans and sinners? :thumbsup:

For the record, I didn’t think Deborah’s reply gave any indication that she was more concerned with sin than with people. She said she’d write something simple and if the friend sensed she didn’t approve of the text message, she’d explain her thoughts (i.e., homosexual acts and relationships are wrong) without trying to sound holier-than-thou.

God bless.

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