Ok, here is my problem. I have a friend I like to play cards with. He is married with 3 kids. I either play cards with him or do things with his wife and kids (eg, they have me over to supper or we go to church concerts)
Overall, they are good people. No one is perfect. I noticed he doesn’t exactly have the healthiest boundaries with others and sometimes his wife’s behaviour seems a bit compulsive. And as I say, no one is perfect and their qualities far outweight their faults.
Here is the thing. They know that my dad recently past away. Also, that is when I told him the hardest part was having to see my brother because I axed him out of my life 8 years ago because he was too abusive. His wife seemed understanding but all he wanted to know was if I had other siblings:rolleyes:
Well, today we went to play cards at the club. He asked me if I was back on speaking terms with my brother. I found that to be a stupid question. How could 2 people who haven’t spoken for 8 years solve all their problems in less than 6 weeks ???
So I said no. He then said there was a quote in the bible that he could not remember but the moral of the quote was to forgive. At that point I said ‘No where in the bible does it say Thou shall get back into the cage with the lion’
Then we had to start a new game of cards and the topic was changed.
Here is my problem. He is one of those people who will preach ‘communicate and work it out’ but turns around and NEVER communicates. I don’t think he realizes how poor his communication skills are. Never asserts himself and takes total offence to constructive criticism. I also know him well enough that he will continue to push me to talk to my brother because in his mind he is doing the right thing.
I really resent him trying to meddle. I resent being judge. He totally discredits all the cruel things my brother has done to me and acts as if it really doesn’t matter how my brother should treat me, I should talk to my brother. I don’t like my feelings being tossed into the garbage. I also know that my politely asking him not to bring it up will cause a big argument
Can people please tell me stories where they relate or gives me ideas how to tell him in a non-threatening way to stop