Dear Friends and everyone who has followed my saga, been a friend to me and offered me such good advice over a 2-3 year period here.
My 20 year marriage is OVER and I am sad. Please he
I discovered once again, 2 weeks ago, more info that my husband of 22 years with our kids, 2 teens, that HE has chosen to continue to be unfaithful, in STILL pursuing his stripper, and carrying on with her, sneaking around, behind my back, saying it was/is over, planning the bus route to her stripper nudie bar, writing her sexual notes, and etc . I asked for the Lord to reveal anything else to me about a month ago, telling HIM I cannot endure any more. Lo and behold, I knocked his wallet off his dresser one day and STUFF fell out, among them, sexual perverted scribblings he directed to this stripper, a detailed bus schedule from our home to the strip joint, women';s phone numbers, free passes to nudie bars which he had cut out from our local sleeze mag.....etc. THIS friends was 2 weeks ago now, and THE FINAL STRAW. EVER. I tried for 2 years, I thought WE tried, when come to find out only I did. My heart was shattered again. BUT, this was indeed the turning point, and final straw for me, after 2 years of his infidelity, and all you all have been with me on and known. A marriage involves two, not just one. Right?
I finally have reached my limit. I will NEVER take him back. He is sick in his head, I KNEW for sure after I read these obscene and disgusting scribblings he wrote addressing his favorite whore. When I read/found them, my heart leaped, thinking this is not healthy, for me or my kids, and I need to separate, immediately. Luckily he left without too much drama. For THE LAST TIME. My 19 yo son had a breakdown at work 2 days after my h moved out, saying he cannot endure this any longer, that he almost fainted at work, that has had it, etc.....I realized I cannot put my precious kids through any more turmoil. And I am feeling really bad that I tried so hard to make it work, 4 separations, thinking/believing my husband was wanting to change. I find out now he is not/does not want to. It has been utter HELL. He is in deep sin, and not wanting to get out from the pitt. I cannot be dragged into it with him, my kids too any more. Lord help me. Friends pray for me. Thank you.
NO MORE. I tried for two years. My heart really relates to what Elin Nordegren, (Tiger Woods' wife) who has said recently, "A marriage without trust or love is good for no one". This is my sentiment exactly. She found this out after 9 months. For me it was 2 years. I ask myself what was my problem? being so weak? But then I am reminded, I loved my husband with my whole heart, so love does not count the cost.
Thank you all for listening.