Friends and drinking help


#1

Hey all, I'm new here, so if this is in the wrong spot I apologize. Anyway, on to my question.

So I'm in college right now. I'm of legal drinking age, but I'm kind of in the difficult time where some of my friends are, and some are not. My problem is that right now, both of my roommates (I have an apartment) are underage. Unfortunately, I've been kind of...lax in the past. I would frequently allow them to throw parties at the apartment, and even by alcohol for them. I know this was wrong, and have since changed my ways, but I'm still in a bit of a tough spot.
My roommates still like throughing parties at the apartment. They often will over indulge, etc., and while I no longer buy them liquor, they still can get it. What should I do? I can't really stop them from throwing parties (it's their apt. too), but I don't want to lend to scandal or anything. The parties themselves are usually fairly small (haven't ever gotten noise complaints or anything), but I still worry about the message that I send. The situation is even more difficult since many of my 21+ friends often attend, and I do like spending time with them.
So what should I do? I don't want to lend to scandal, but I don't want to be 'exiled' from my own apt. Should I just not go and try and stay somewhere else during the parties? (Oh, and I don't know if this matters, but even when I did attend these get togehters I would stay sober - I know my limits, but they don't.) Any advice?


#2

[quote="SPBlitz, post:1, topic:249371"]
So what should I do? I don't want to lend to scandal, but I don't want to be 'exiled' from my own apt. Should I just not go and try and stay somewhere else during the parties? (Oh, and I don't know if this matters, but even when I did attend these get togehters I would stay sober - I know my limits, but they don't.) Any advice?

[/quote]

Yes, as soon as your lease is up MOVE.

What your roomates are doing is illegal; they're breaking the law in your residence and you could very well bare some legal responsibility should anything befall them during one of their alcohol-induced escapades. For example, if a neighbor makes a noise complaint with the police, and they arrive and start checking identification? Well, my friend, you're getting a citation. And you're facing more than a citation if an underaged someone blacks out and injures themselves badly, or is involved in a DUI accident while out on a beer run. At that point it won't matter if you didn't actually put the bottle in their hands; the fact that you knew they weren't of age and you allowed them to drink would be enough for some district attorneys.

While you're waiting for your lease to expire, I would come down like the hammer of God on these kids and tell them in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate them drinking or providing their underaged friends with alcohol at your residence. If they want to party like it's 1999 (can't you tell I'm really old) somewhere else, that's on them. But at your home - no way.

Give me one good reason why you should leave your home simply because your roomates when to engage in illegal activities?

I understand that none of this advice, should you take it, is going to make you popular with your roomies. But being a responsible adult oftentimes makes you unpopular with the less mature.


#3

Let me say it again, since it was so well put. When your lease is up MOVE!

In the mean time, be civil and spend time at the library and at church.


#4

Yes, definitely move.

Since you are in college you should also know that your roommates are "throwing" parties, not "throughing" parties (unless they are just going THROUGH!

Now let's hope that when you tell them you are moving out, they do not throw your stuff through the window!;)


#5

Huh, yeah, i guess I didn’t proofread that one. I usually enjoy writing, so I should know better… :blush:
Anywho, I won’t be able to move out until the spring, so I guess I’ll have to resolve myself to an icy relationship with them (which is going to be tough, since they’ve been friends since high school). A lot of it is my fault, since I used to allow it - and at some times even encourage it - so I’m not sure how they’ll handle a 180 on my part.
I guess I could use some prayers that God will grant me the courage to do what is necessary, as well as the wisdom to handle the situation tactfully.


#6

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