There are a number of threads kind of similar to this, so I apologize if I should have just added to one of them.
Anyhoo, I just wanted to talk a little about where I am, and see if anyone can relate.
For about 10 years, I lived a completely secular life. It was all about me - earthly pleasures if you know what I mean.
I came back to the church about two years ago, and since then, it has been a (very) slow process in getting closer to God.
Now, my closest family is nearly 500 miles away, and I only have two friends who are Catholic (I sponsored their conversions!). I see them once a week at mass, and sparingly throughout the week if I’m lucky. Everyone else I know (in proximity, anyway) is from my “old” life.
As I have journeyed closer to God, there have obviously been a number of things in my life that I have struggled to change. As I have undergone these changes, I have drifted apart from most of my “friends”. It has really gotten to the point where any time I am around any of them, it turns into an occasion to sin.
Occasionally, I’ll go out and have a few drinks just to see some people, but beyond that, I can’t stand to be around them because of their lifestyle (not trying to sound judgmental).
Now I feel very alone, all the time.
Sometimes I look at them and see how happy they “appear” to be, and I wonder if I got it all wrong. Don’t get me wrong - I feel like my faith is strong - but it causes pause sometimes. I even remember how life was “before God,” and I think that maybe I was happier back then. A bunch of fleeting pleasures seems better than none at all sometimes.
I’m single - and not dating - but I’m in love with a girl from the “old life”. She’s in a pretty abusive relationship right now, and uses some “ungodly” things to try and ease the pain, but, needless to say, I don’t have a whole lot of contact with her, either. That’s a different story, anyway.
The point is, I don’t really have much contact with anyone outside of work and the occaisional conversation with a family member (I know, I need to do a better job of keeping in touch).
Oh! Also, I’m in my mid-late 20’s and it seems like everyone in my Parrish is either much older or younger than me. Everyone is great, but it’s hard to connect.
Sorry for rambling so much - this wasn’t supposed to be such a long post - but I guess my questions are -
-Does anyone else feel like the apparent “happiness” of those around them in their sinful behavior causes you to doubt your faith at times?
-Does anyone feel “alone” in their faith while (it seems like) everyone around them is “going about their merry way”?
-And, if so, how do you go about fulfilling needs outside of your spiritual life?
Thanks, and I’m looking forward to chatting with some of you about all this. I rarely get to do that!