Friends becoming a near occasion of sin

I have some friends who from time to time can come out with some lewd comments and I can get sucked in and start speaking impurely and uncharitably also. My examination of conscience asks “have I been in lewd company?”. But how can I avoid these people who are my friends and is it a sin for me to be around them? They aren’t like this all the time and when they do start with the crude comments I try to correct them in charity. Is it a sin for me to be around them?

Many thanks and God bless.

You may want to explain this situation to your confessor.

Absolutely. I would talk to your confessor or a trusted priest.

The reason they do it, is to shock you. But instead you join.
Why not make a tape one evening. A home movie and let them get into full swing.
Do it in public and let them see how others react to their bad manners and their lewd comments. Playing it back usually does the trick when they see how uncouth it makes them look and how people around are reacting.


Your signature says it all:
“I tell you that you have less to suffer in following the Cross than in serving the world and its pleasures.”

As a 19 year old guy myself, I often found myself in conflict with the words and actions I exhibited and my beliefs. It was quite the obstacle to overcome, but instead of going to drinking parties, accepting drugs, laughing along with crude jokes, and acting carelessly - I chose Jesus.

I knew I couldn’t be lukewarm - Either you are for God, or you live in sin. So, I decided to detach from myself over the years of verbal, physical, and mental occasions of sin. I never really had friends and rarely found kids that shared the same values I lived for. But, I still talked to people - but I had my limits. I would never make fun of people, swear, hate another person, or hurt someone - even if I was pressured by my ‘friends’ around me.

I stopped following the ‘crowd’ - I knew I was an individual and above everything a child of God that walked as if I was a one-man army. I only needed strength from the Lord to overcome all the obstacles that were in front of me. I wasn’t going to conform to society and the ideals this world glorifies in.

Romans 12:2 - And **be not conformed **to his world. But be ye transformed by the renewal of you mind, that ye may prove what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Remember, it won’t be easy trying to detach yourself from the world:
Luke 9:23-25 - And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him **deny **himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

The world will make fun of you, humiliate you, and even hate you. Remember:

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” – John 15:18-19

You are a child of God - someone special to Him. Just know that there are others - the entire Christian world that is suffering through the same ordeals of conflict as you are.

“Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisters in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you.” - 1 Peter 5:7-10

When you fight this thing till the end - you will emerge in glory for God! Your soul will be rewarded for the firm faith you have had and the willingness to follow the will of God.
You can choose as you wish, but just remember that worldly pleasures are only temporary. You can be the richest person alive on Earth - it means nothing after death.
Keeping your soul holy to the will of God will result in eternal happiness.

Mark 8:36 - "For what does it profit a man, to *gain the whole world *and forfeit his life?

Praying for the Lord’s strength to fill you!

You are correct in stating it as a near occasion of sin. My wife and I found out the hard way that our friends who were there prior to our conversion lead us into a lot of situations that could end in sin. Especially with blasphemies, and drugs. We had to make a conscious effort after some attempts to evangelize unsuccessfully to move on to other friendships that could edify us more spiritually. It was hard but well worth the effort to make the split. I know that Jesus understood are move.

Someday if we get the courage to speak with those friends again I pray I have the words to offer and the courage to stick up for my Church and my God.

I agree about talking to your priest.

I’m not sure I agree that these friends are necessarily people to avoid. They may or may not be. But all people have faults, and you will find any group of friends you could spend time with will fall short in some way. While this group may sometimes stray into lewd discussion (which you should steer converstaion away from or excuse yourself for a while), another group may engage in gossip, detraction, etc.

We need to be “in the world, but not of it”. Depending on the advice of your priest, this may be taken to mean that you can/should spend time with your friends, but always setting a good example (which it sounds like you do) and avoiding joining the sorts of discussions you describe.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit