I've debated how to word this thread and the issue I am having so bear with me please. My friend is getting married next week, I am standing in the wedding, and am truly happy for her. But I am having a hard time with how she is treating me and perhaps in a sense disrespecting my dignity and life.
She has always been almost fanatical about getting married, even before we graduated from high school, You know how some churches/ministries put such a huge emphasis on marriage? Well, she comes from that whole worldview. She believes (and maybe this is true, I am no expert on God's plans for us) that God brings us the exact person we're supposed to marry and she said she made a list of all the traits she was looking for in a husband and within a month she met the one. Now, maybe it's like that, but it sure hasn't worked for me :o. It was basically as though they agreed to marry before they started dating. I found it a bit weird she was so convinced but I did not judge her.
Here's where I have issues. She has ZERO interest in my life besides my relationship status when we talk. I think I live a pretty interesting life, I have a pretty significant disability, but graduated 2nd in my class, and after 2 years living at home and going to community college, last year I started going to school away from home at the snowiest and pretty prestigious public university in the state.
But our conversations were dominated by her relationship and whether or not I was dating or not. I'm almost graduated with my BA and have never dated, I think the disability freaks guys out just a bit. I have lots of guy friends (my school has a 4:1 ratio of guys to girls) but it never goes further.
When I try to talk about my life, classes, college life, etc. she's never interested and acts as though my issues are so trivial because I'm still single and in her view, not grown up. She even thought it was silly I was taking a summer class; though she probably didn't like that it ends right before her wedding. It's like now that she is getting married, my life is somehow unimportant.
I am afraid I'm becoming resentful, though I am trying so hard not to. I try to tell her I'm at peace if it is God's will I remain single but she thinks it means I lost faith that God has a plan for me to marry. I am spending the whole week before the wedding with her and I don't know if I can handle the little put-downs and commenting and gloating (though I know it's HER wedding!). I know it might sound like it's just another bridezilla story but it began years ago.
Is this normal for my friend to act this way? Is this focus on marriage more common than I realize in religious circles and am I just encountering it for the first time? How do I handle myself graciously but keep my dignity?
Thanks in advance! God Bless!