Friends open marriage


#1

My friend’s husband was a truck driver and while he was on the road they decided to have an “open” marriage. Which I thought was a horrible, awful, terrible idea. I told her that too. Well, her husband no longer drives cross country and has a local job and is just gone on Thursday nights. She has made that her night to invite this guy over so they can…well…I’m sure you get the idea. I think this is so wrong and I have been very vocal about it to her. She said its an agreement they made months ago and that she doesn’t like having sex with her husband. It really bothers me because she has a 3 year old daughter. She is in a different room with her visitor and he doesn’t come over until she is asleep…I’ve asked what happens if she wakes up?? She said that her daughter doesn’t wake up in the night. I don’t think her husband knows that she is doing this. I have told her that its very wrong, but she doesn’t think it is because of that stupid agreement. I’m at a loss about what to do…To add more mess, the guy she is messing around with is also married.


#2

This is horrible. Your friend needs prayers, lots of them. I wish I had more to offer. She is not taking your advice. She is a lost soul seeking happiness. This is so very sad. I am so sorry, I will pray for her.


#3

I will never understand this “open marriage” business. Why bother getting married at all then? :confused: I just can’t imagine…

She definitely needs prayers. Sometimes I think that’s all you can do after telling her what she is doing is wrong (which she probably knows deep down anyway).

Sad. Sad. Sad.


#4

I’m sorry but your friend clearly does not understand what marriage is. Maybe they should not be married in the first place. :mad:

Marriage is a mirror of God. It is sacrificial love… in your friend’s case, this is not it. They seem to exhibit a more selfish love which really isn’t love at all.

Marriage, seen in the light of God, is the visible representation of Him.

Truly, we have sexual desires… in your friend’s case… it’s a desire for God, distorted greatly.

If you want to know more… read up on the Theology of the Body. Hopefully, this can help your friend.


#5

I know several people (mostly pagans) who are in “open” marriages and are what they call “swingers”. Both partners do it, and not many of them are very interested in children.

I find it sad and they know I don’t agree with it. I pray for them. What else can I do? :frowning:


#6

This is a perfect example of how the enemy takes something that God created and twists it into something evil.


#7

The is little you can do. Keep praying and if need be cut these people out of your life.


#8

This is so sad, but I have to agree. There was a couple in my former social circle whom I had to back away from for a slightly-related situation. They didn’t “swing” themselves, but the wife would allow her married girlfriend to use their basement bedroom to commit adultery with another man from the same circle, who was also married. When I asked her how she thought that was right, she said that both were in sexless marriages and that since her girlfriend had a cancer scare, she was entitled to a bit of happiness. Ummmm…since when does mortal sin lead to happiness? And what about material cooperation? I finally moved on and found other friends. Someone, I don’t remember who, said, “Bad company corrupts good character.” But continue to pray for your swinging friends, and especially for any children who might be influenced by this.


#9

there is no such thing. they decided to commit adultery with others and used this meaningless phrase in an attempt to convince themselves and others (why they would brag about it is a mystery in itself) that they are doing something not only acceptable but trendy.


#10

Open marriages don’t work, I have seen it too many times and have to help my friends deal with the aftermath.


#11

What should YOU do?

Find new friends.


#12

It is very sad, especially for the children. My ex husband wanted me to agree to an open marriage, especially since he started partaking without my knowledge. That is why he is now my ex, and I pray every day that my three children will never be influenced by his depravity. I really believe the devil has had a hand in this.


#13

no, god gave us free will. Your ex had the choice. No ones fault but his own.


#14

I’m not talking about my ex, but about the disturbed person he is involved with. I think she is possessed, to judge from some evidence I stumbled upon last year. She is not normal, and is doing things way beyond what a healthy person does. I never used to think devils exist, but I do now believe that some people invite them in. There is utter depravity and evil at work in this situation.


#15

Advise against cutting her out of your life. She IS going to end up hurt and hurt bad. Don’t participate (for example if she calls and wants to use you as an excuse to see her lover), remember how Jesus treated the woman at the well or the woman caught in adultery. Pray for her!


#16

You need to lose this friend.


#17

Originally Posted by Ailina
I really believe the devil has had a hand in this.

no, god gave us free will. Your ex had the choice. No ones fault but his own.

I disagree. Satan always has a hand in it. He’s the serpent in the garden tempting the man and woman, promising them that if they do what is forbidden, it will be a good thing. He is the deceiver who has made this perverted view of marriage seem good. Yes, God gave Adam and Eve free will, and they chose evil when Satan gave them a choice. And same with all these people who buy the lies about the happiness open marriage gives.

Satan hates strong families. He loves to split them up. Because once they are broken, the individual members are easy pickings.


#18

Keri, I strongly urge you to keep your distance from the friend. You may not feel this way, but eventually things will flare up in that marriage and you do not need any influences such as this in your life. You may be strong in your values, Faith and all the above…but it’s not good to keep company such as this. Just my opinion.


#19

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