My friend is getting married in August and she asked me to stand in the wedding and I agreed. I also have a significant disability (cerebral palsy) so before I agreed to be in the wedding,
I, of course, talked to my parents about it before the wedding since the wedding is 600 miles from where we live and my parents would have to drive me since I cannot drive. They said it was fine, probably because my parents have known her parents for 22+ years and our dads work for the same company.
Unfortunately, it has turned into a royal mess. My friend wants me there way before the wedding, like 3 days before, and doesn't seem to understand how difficult this would be for my family as the wedding is in a town where we have no friends or family. I feel super guilty as it means my parents will be "stranded" in this town with nothing to do for 3-4 days.
In addition to this, another friend standing in the wedding has purposely rearranged her plans so she cannot give me a ride down to the wedding just so she can be with our friend for an entire week w/out me and then expects me to be there whenever she thinks I should be.
It's so stressful because I am trying to keep my friend happy but my parents are getting so upset with the entire situation...I know they're not upset w/ me but I feel responsible. And it's not just my issue, my friend keeps making plans that is making it nearly impossible for her guests to attend her wedding.
I would never break my promise to stand in the wedding but I have felt tempted to. I am trying to be charitable to all involved but I am sick of being treated as though I am the bad guy...I have had my disability for my entire life and we've known each other since we were babies so it's not like she doesn't know how my disability complicates things.
I just feel like I have to reconcile what my parents are able to do/afford but still be a good friend but it's just causing tons of stress at home and I am the one who has to deal with it. Every time I try to come up with a solution, someone is not happy and I get really anxious. I don't think I'll stand in another wedding (except for my 2 sisters) because I cannot deal with all the drama...
Any ideas as to how to keep the friends satisfied and still do the right thing in honoring my parents? Sorry if this is a bit confusing!