Friendship Dilemma


I can hear the groans now. A typical young-adult post. But I’m at a loss as to what to do. I’ve met, and subsequently, fallen for the girl of my dreams…and she’s an Atheist. With a boyfriend. The boyfriend issue is clear:she is taken, and we have a beautiful casual friendship, with no underlying pretense (by this I mean, she does not share the interest, and I do not intend or desire to be a thorn in the side of her relationship, I’d rather she be happy), and I’m more than willing not to interfere. It is the Atheism which worries me. Especially considering she was once a Catholic, and was called to Mass by the Lord. Of course, she doesn’t view it this way. She only recently celebrated her 20th birthday, and was spending the day “doing all of the things she used to do, for nostalgic purposes.” She wanted to visit a Mass, because that had been a big part of her childhood. I honestly believe this was why she was there: there was no heart in anything she did in Mass that day, and when we discussed her reasons for being there and for Atheism, they were very concrete and well-thought out.

What do you do or say to someone who has become a very important friend to you, who’s successfully refuted every proof of God you’ve offered them, and does not trust or believe in the validity of faith? I cannot simply stand by and watch her sell her soul to the Devil. What makes it worse is she now arrives at the Church to volunteer community service hours for her schooling (she’s working on a scholarship, and one of her teachers actually attends our Church and drives her there, it’s why she chose it for the Mass) every week-and because I’m doing the same thing, I have plenty of time to spend with her and cannot even convince her to visit another Mass.

Any suggestions? She’s open, but stubborn. She’s read the books I’ve suggested, but remains entirely unconvinced. Maybe there is something you’ve thought of but I haven’t…



Well, first of all, there are no ‘Proofs’ for or against God. “It is written upon men’s hearts that I AM”. That’s all the proof your gonna get.

After that - this topic could go in a thousand different directions. So - what are her “Proofs”? What has she had to say on the topic that is “Successful”? It is hard for anyone to - well - argue with someone when they don’t know what their arguments are.




Probably the best thing you can do is pray for her salvation. Ask God to grant her the grace of final conversion. You’d be amazed what daily prayer for conversion does. Over the past couple years, I’ve been praying for the conversion of my immediate family and relatives. What’s been happening is that quite a number of these people have suddenly become more interested in their Catholic faith and have returned to the Church! It’s amazing what God can do especially when you are praying for someone else’s salvation!


I’ll keep your friend and you in my prayers and Masses.


If your friend is open to discussion - without agitation - seize every opportunity when in friendly discussions. If you overdo it, she won’t maintain the friendship, and you’ll just push her away. But in the meantime, persevere - and pray to St. Jude (help of despaired cases) or St. Anthony but more importantly, try the nine-hour novena to The Infant Jesus of Prague. It is known to be unfailing, efficacious - just try it. Let God do the rest.

You sound not only like someone who loves/cares for this friend - who is lucky to have your friendship - but also sincerely concerned about her soul.
God and Our Lady bless you for that.


Main Entry:1faith \ˈfāth\ Function:noun Inflected Form(s):plural faiths \ˈfāths, sometimes ˈfāthz\ Etymology:Middle English feith, from Anglo-French feid, fei, from Latin fides; akin to Latin fidere to trust — more at bideDate:13th century 1 a**:** allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1): fidelity to one’s promises (2): sincerity of intentions2 a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1):**** firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust3**:** something that is believed especially with strong conviction ; especially : a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith>synonyms see belief

      — on faith **:** without question <took everything he said *on faith*>


Pray for her.

Read this book: Answering the New Atheism: Dismantling Dawkins’ Case Against God by Scott Hahn and Benjamin Wiker

Then, about the falling in love thing - we choose whom we love. You may be attracted, have lust or infactuation with her - choose to love her in Christ, as a brother.

Would you want to marry and have an athiest as mother to your childen? If not, pray for her conversion, live in such a way that you are an example to lead her back to the church.

Choosing a spouse can wait until you find a woman who shares your faith.


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