From a Catholic point of view would seeking to reduce my libido be disobeying God?

From a Catholic point of view would seeking to reduce my libido be disobeying God?


I am a 26 year old man who has never had any type of romantic relationship with a women due to being very physically unattractive.

I am obviously still a Virgin, but have never been on one date or even kissed a woman.

. . .

Additionally, I have a constant jealously for all those fortunate enough to be born physically attractive.
Seeing good looking couples in church makes me furious with envy and later numb with sadness…I ENVY the man who has the privilege of being intimate with a beautiful woman with the blessing of God through marriage.

I truly feel it is not fair that he gets to experience romantic intimacy simply because he was lucky enough to be born good looking…He did not work hard to earn such a privilege…he was simply born into it.

. . . .

I am close to my Mom, and have discussed this with her. She claims this would be a sin.
I do not understand why it would be, as I am simply trying to get relief from these sinful desires.

My questions are;
–Is eliminating my sexual desires through medicinal methods a sin?
–If so why?

Thank you very much.

Please seek help from a mental health provider. Your situation is beyond the scope of the help of people here on an Internet forum.


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Physical attraction is subjective. I would not conclude that there is a complete loss of hope of ever finding a woman who finds you attractive.

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1ke is right. All your envy, fury and feelings of entitlement is not going to make you attractive to any woman. Please talk to a counselor about these feelings, and about your desire to chemically castrate yourself. You should talk about this with your Priest, too.

It’s entirely the wrong way to go about solving the problem you have. You need to deal with your feelings, not reduce your libido. And it goes without saying but don’t use any “medicinal methods” without agreement from your doctor.

Because you need a professional to help you work through all your feelings and issues.

You keep saying this. Your own beliefs about yourself are very powerful, and are harming you.

Depression, self-esteem, self-hatred, all these emotions and feelings. You need someone to talk to about them. It doesn’t mean you are “mental ill”. It means you need help.


Only a select few therapists work with actual mental illness. Most simply work with people to solve problem they are facing. Some problems are simply too complex for an Internet forum, and I think that yours is one of them. Have you at least spoken with your priest?

No, not a sin. Although what you’re looking for doesn’t exist. There are methods of chemical castration but they have horrible side effects so it isn’t something a healthy man should consider.

Not at all. You’ll just have to cope with different methods. Taking something that’s strong enough to destroy your libido could leave you with permanent health issues and/or sterility. You think you’re depressed now but it could get much much worse.

I completely understand not wanting the gift of sexuality. It’s one of those gifts if I could I’d trade it on for some bread and lentil soup I totally would. It’s just something you’ll have to live with.

Talk to your Priest and your medical doctor.

PLEASE you must stop talking like this and thinking of yourself like this. You need to talk to a professional who can help you with your issues of self loathing. DON’T wait. The outer changes for everybody but it’s the inner that matters. Don’t lose hope. Don’t EVER lose hope.


I’m going to assume that the OP is not trolling, though I think that is a possibility.

Self-diagnosed physical unattractiveness is usually not as bad as you think. And there are many things you can do to help it. Style and fashion go a long way.

Ok. Well that is something that you should work on. Being unable to control yourself in this manner is a sign of sexual immaturity.

If this is a recurring theme in your life then you probably need to talk to a therapist about this. The intensity if feeling that you describe is really not healthy.

This is a bit like the incel mentality. Life isn’t fair. Everyone in the world could pick something that they believe they could have better. Money, family, travel, looks. You have what you have. God made you the way you are and you need to learn to be happy with that or you’ll just end up bitter.
Many men have more going for them that just looks. They may be a hard worker and a good provider, they may be romantic, strong, brave, good around the house, good cooks. There are many ways to impress a woman and you’re better off working on these than lamenting your presumed ugliness.

Ultimately, I feel like you are not going to be happy unless you address the underlying feelings here.


You really sound like you have a bit of self-loathing, or at least, loathing of people you feel are more successful with women than you are.

This, a million times. Don’t let this hatred of your looks fester any longer, because it’s going to really harm you. It has already harmed you, to the extent that you think any woman who may approach you can’t possibly be genuine and that chemical castration is the only way forward. This is disordered thinking, please get some counselling to help you. Counselling is what will help you solve your problems, trying to kill your libido won’t.


Don’t split hairs. There isn’t a substantial difference between the two. Your appearance is a part of yourself and you loathe it. That’s self-loathing.

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“A loathing of my physically unattractive looks”

That is self-loathing to me. OK no one here can help you with this. You , if Catholic, MUST talk to your Priest and your MUST seek help from a medical professional. God made you exactly the way you are for a purpose. God doesn’t make junk and God doesn’t see the outside of any of us but the heart, mind and soul. What you are “putting off” are your feelings about your looks. That is picked up on by others. Think of those who have been wounded beyond recognition in battle, accidents or by so many surgeries on their looks that they seem like cartoon characters. It’s not your looks that are the problem but your dwelling on them and comparing yourself to others and their looks. Also the less time you spend on YOU the more time you can spend on others and helping others. Your looking only at your shell and not asking God what His purpose in life is for you. PLEASE seek help you don’t have to feel this way. God loves you more than you love yourself and God knows you better than you know yourself.

And not everyone finds someone. There are gorgeous beautiful people out there who can not find a person to LOVE them but only objectify them. Don’t say one more word negatively about your looks, your self, your lack of finding someone. Develop the positives of you and any negative you think you have will not take the main place in your thinking. PLEASE ask God for the graces you need to overcome this.

Yeah, that too.

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Ok, firstly, you don’t actually know if you’re not going to get married. As I said, attractiveness is not the be all and end all. Secondly, everyone has temptations, you could have no heroic virtue without temptation. Temptation is just an opportunity to grow in virtue. It might take a long time but you can use these temptations to improve your relationship with God.
Even married men get sexual temptations that we can’t always satisfy. A wife is not available for sex 24/7. There’s a lot of self restraint required in any state of life.

You need to pray about this and pray for Our Lady to help you overcome your temptations. I would also suggest maybe talking to a therapist about the intense jealousy you expressed. I get that a certain amount of “I wish I had that” is normal for a young single guy, but you seem to have allowed it to go beyond that.


Ask a priest. You can go into the confession that has a screen so it is anonymous. He will guide you with what to do.

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