Has anyone ever felt originally called to a religious vocation, only to end up realizing that you are called to a marriage vocation?
I am just still a little confused on my vocation. At first, I felt as if I was perhaps called to a religious life because I did have attractions and desires for it. But now, it just seems like the closer I’m approaching a religious life(as in, taking the steps to becoming one: growing a prayerful life as well as growing spiritually and faithfully, visiting a convent, going on a discernment retreat with that particular convent)…the more my heart is drifting further away from it. I suddenly feel more called to a marriage vocation now.
It’s not that I am fearing the religious life-I actually am not as fearful anymore, or at all. However, I just never get this “home” feeling that I’ve been hearing about when I am at the convent. Being around the sisters at the community, yes…I do see so much joy in them, and I wished I could feel the same joy…but I see myself being more joyful…say, with my own little family. There are even times when I don’t feel as if I belong much and feel rather uncomfortable/uneasy in a weird way. Perhaps I’m not trying hard enough to open my heart to God’s will? I do pray to God that He gives me stronger feelings and desires for the religious life, if I am called to it, but I do not feel anything. I am naturally a joyful person-it surely is a blessing from God-and I know that I will be joyful in whatever path I take. But a part of me feels that I’ll be more joyful dedicating my life to my own family, even though I always had desires to serve God’s people.
I would just love to hear your discernment stories! They will be very much appreciated