I was wondering if anyone had stories about receiving the “friends” conversation first but the happy everafter still occurring later on anyway (for reassurance and for ideas). For the record, it has happened to me before, only once, but it was already a friend for 2.5 years, not a newly met person, so it might have been an exception rather than the rule, although it has managed to remove my belief that such changes don’t happen and now I believe they sometimes do. I’m more interested in situations with newly met people than with actual friends, but shoot anyway. So, any stories? Also interested in hearing from ladies who have given the friends line to someone but have gone for more anyway (as in what made you allow it to happen, whether it was by a new decision or just by facts).
My husband and I fit in this category.
I will tell you our story, and try to be somewhat brief - feel free to PM me if you wish.
My husband and I met through a mutual friend the summer before our junior year in high school. We both knew “of each other” - but had never been introduced or spoke to each other before. To be honest - I was smitten. We connected very quickly - in about a one we were speaking very regularly and become very close. Shortly after that - I professed to him how I was feeling - and he turned me down. He said that he loved our friendship - but just wanted to keep it at that.
Although it stung - we continued our friendship. We were best friends, we shared so much with eachother and were always there for each other.
The summer before we parted way for college - things started to get complicated (as they tend to do when you are 18 ) and we started to explore if we wanted to relationship to go further. However - the summer ended and we went our seperate ways but still remained close.
Later that fall - our distance had forced us both to look closely at what we had together. We started our relationship in October of 2002 and were married September 2007.
We have grown so much together and I am so lucky to say that I have truly married my best friend
Husband auditioned to pay keys in my band. He got the gig :)
We were bandmates and friends for a little over a year - then, it became more. Band broke up, we broke up but "stayed friends". 2 years of being friends, then one evening things changed and we have been married two decades now :eek:
I guess other people have different stories, but I don't think it's the norm.
I have several female friends who I would never date, because I value the friendship. If it ended in a bad way, which is a possibility, it would seriously damage if not destroy, the friendship.
My husband was a good friend for almost 5 years before we started dating. We met at church when I subbed for him (he taught the 5 & 6 yr old boys class & had a midterm at college one night, so I took over the class). I was really impressed with how the young boys adored him. But I wasn’t interested in him at all.
We got to be friends when we were both youth ministers. For a while there, he was dating one of my roommates and almost got engaged to her (thank goodness, her parents were against it. They loved him; they just didn’t think he was right for their daughter and vice versa).
Then one day, I turned around and realized I loved him, and I was devastated, because I was sure he didn’t love me back. Except he did. We started dating Dec. 4 1993, got engaged March 4, 1994 and were married June 4 1994. He’s still my best friend, and I love him madly.
Dh and I worked together. That’s how we met. We were colleagues and friends; at first, there wasn’t anything like a romantic interested. However, one day after work, his car broke down and I offered to give him a ride home. On the freeway, was an accident and traffic was backed up for miles. We had lots of time to just sit and talk and laugh. That’s what kind of changed things between us–we had been friends and now I realized that he had certain qualities, opinions, and beliefs that had been kept ‘under wraps’ at work, and I really liked them!
It took a few more months to actually work up to dating because working together was a little awkward with the idea of romance lurking in the background; but I’m happy to say that, as of last month, we’ve been married 23 years!
Actually I know lots of people who started as friends, for varying periods of time (6 months to several years) and then started dating and are either still in a serious relationship or are married.
From a personal standpoint I became friends with a girl and we were friends for roughly 9 months-ish, then we started dating for few months and it didn’t work out so now we are back to being friends again.
Although I have friends (male and female) that disagree with me strongly on this topic, I think very good and long lasting relationships can grow out of male/female friendships.
My boyfriend of almost 2 years only wanted to be friends at first. I said okay to that. I was kind of tentative after our first date too. We are talking about marriage now.
IT can be done....I'm an example of it.
Haha… My boyfriend and I are pretty entertained by how we met. At the time I was trying to move out of an ex-boyfriends place, he had refused to help me and demanded that I stay with him. Needless to say it was an abusive and unhealthy relationship. I wasn’t able to move the furniture and such on my own so my brother Chad and a friend of his, Matt, came and helped me.
From the first time I met Matt I had liked him, even when I didn’t know any thing about him. They helped me move in with Chad and his girlfriend. As the months went on I got to know Matt a lot better. Learned that he was Catholic and had the same moral values I did. About two months after first meeting him I had asked him out, to my dissapointment he turned me down but we remained good friends. Best friends actually… He would come over and hang out with Chad. Once Chad would turn in for the night, Matt and I would stay up till 7-8 in the morning disscussing religion and our pasts. At this time I had discovered that he was brought up Catholic and homeschooled, never had a girlfriend and wasn’t planning on dating till he was interested in getting married. He was the one who got me interested in Catholicsim, I had even started RCIA.
By this time I was sure we were just friends and even though I still liked him, I never expected it to be any more then what it was at that time. After five months of knowing him, he called me and asked if he could come over. This was a little unusual because he would typically call my brother and ask. He asked about my RCIA class, and even brought me over some more books to read. He knows how much I love to read. Then out of nowhere he asked if I was still interested in dating him. He had told me that he had been praying about it a lot and that he felt God had told him that we were a great match.
We’ve been dating ever since. I had only known him for about five months at the time, and we’ve been dating for about six months know. We’ve talked about marriage and kids way before we even started dating just to make sure we were wanting the same things in the future.
[quote="chevalier, post:1, topic:186960"]
I was wondering if anyone had stories about receiving the "friends" conversation first but the happy everafter still occurring later on anyway (for reassurance and for ideas). For the record, it has happened to me before, only once, but it was already a friend for 2.5 years, not a newly met person, so it might have been an exception rather than the rule, although it has managed to remove my belief that such changes don't happen and now I believe they sometimes do. I'm more interested in situations with newly met people than with actual friends, but shoot anyway. So, any stories? Also interested in hearing from ladies who have given the friends line to someone but have gone for more anyway (as in what made you allow it to happen, whether it was by a new decision or just by facts).
my wife not only gave me the "just friends" talk, but was also engaged to another (far inferior ;)) person. we had been best friends for over 5 years before i worked up the nerve to tell her how i felt. everything turned out great.
I knew my husband for 5 years before we started dating ( he was actually my brothers good friend) then we became close friends too and it quickly turned into a relationship. we only dated 8 months before we got married. we already knew everything about eachother before we ever officially dated. I truly married my best friend. It worked out great for us. :D