Sorry, it’s me again, and I’m here to vent, so please feel free to ignore this if you’d like to, but…
I tried Ave Maria Singes.com. My father’s not in great health and I’m not crazy about the idea of leaving the state to find a Catholic man to become engaged to, and I live in Texas, so you’d think there would have been a lot more Catholic males from here, but my area’s a little short. There you go.
I tried OKCupid.com. In my profile I explicitly stated that I don’t believe in ANY kind of drug use, no birth control, no sex outside of marriage, etc. I get a lot of hits from guys who are Evangelicals or Mormons, but the only “Catholics” I’ve met online talk about enjoying physical relationships - one guy emailed me on OK to tell me that he thought we were almost exactly alike, except for the no-sex part, as he “couldn’t live without sex” but that was okay because he could do with mutual mastrubation or phone sex or something, we could work things out. I told him no thank you and haven’t heard back from him since.
I tried True.com and got one result with a guy who turned out to be rather New Age and whose ideal hangover cure was a shot of tequila followed by a fatty (another name for a marijuanan cigarette I discovered after our only date).
I’m not exactly a stunning beauty. I’m well aware of that. I’m 32 years old and overweight, currently losing weight (Yay Weight Watchers!) and working out three times a week. I’ve gotten my hair done and expanded my wardrobe. So I’m not down on myself about being hideous anymore - I know that with time and patience, I’ll be able to get myself to a more appropriate weight and I’ll be healthier in the long run. I’m not ugly faced, either, so it’s not like I’m a troll.
I am having issues, though, because I’m trying to figure out how to meet a guy who’s willing to get to know me, talk to me, have fun doing things together, a guy who doesn’t expect sex out of me and who’s really looking for a wife.
And pity, I haven’t got a clue how to find a guy like this! I mean, maybe I do need to move out of state, but that’s a lot to do for a guy you meet online.
Work isn’t a good place to go looking - I currently work in an office where the only two men who even step inside are both married to Catholic women. Everyone else is either a boss (don’t date your boss! Especially if all the bosses are married) who work upstairs and I see them once a week in a big group meeting, or else is female. My entire department is 100% female - both bosses and our shipper included.
My church offers a singles group, but it’s for people over 40, and I’m only 32. I don’t want to look like a gold-digger if I go out with someone who’s older than me, and it would weird me out if I were to date someone only a few years younger than my mother (she’s 51). And I don’t think they’ll let me into the group - they make it very clear that it’s for people over 40.
I really don’t want to have to wait until I’m 40 until I meet someone…
The other groups for “singles” are the Catholic Daughter’s group, which is 100% female and a little hard to meet guys at, the “Family Fun Night” group that consists of mostly kids and a handful of adults to keep the children in line, and a group for teenagers where the adults are only around as chaperones.
Plus, a lot of the guys that I do know from church are all married and I have no idea how to even find the single ones. It seems like almost all the men attending Mass are married by the time they’re in their early 20s.
I tried a secular writer’s club, but most of the people involved are Baptist or Methodist, which is okay I guess, except that I’m not crazy about Baptists in general (I disagree with the majority of their beliefs - I don’t worship a cracker, I worship Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, whose Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity are conferred onto bread and wine to make them his true Flesh and Sacred Blood. So there) and the Methodists in the group were pretty lax about their feelings about sexuality - none of them were virgins, but none of them were ever married, either.
I tried looking at my old job, but most of those people were non-Catholic Christians or else they were Hindu (I worked for an oil company at the time, very multi-national).
There is a couple here at my new job that were both “raised” Catholic but who are both going to a non-denominational church and I believe they were having sex before they married, but that’s just what I picked up from the rumor mill. Anyway, they seem to be the “norm” around here.
I feel wiped out and tired, especially since I’m getting lonely and I don’t feel like I have a calling for Holy Orders, and I really don’t relish the idea of dying alone, of never falling in love, of never having a baby (the older you get, the harder it is to get pregnant), of having nobody to fall back on when I get too old to take care of myself… I feel like I’ll end up in a convent anyway, even if I’m not Called, just to keep that from happening, but I feel like I’d be an awful nun, since I don’t really feel like I’m supposed to live a life of service and I’m way too worldly to be a good influence on anyone.
I’m 32 though… maybe I ought to consider just going in and getting it over with. I’m getting to old to find someone to marry… but I get so depressed at the thought.
I just needed to rant somewhere.