Frustrated with waiting for Jesus


#1

I can't believe there are still three months left before I receive the sacraments! It's tearing me apart. I feel like my spiritual life is faltering with no support. I want to be baptized ... I want to be part of the Church ... I want to receive the Holy Spirit and to receive Jesus. I say I want them, but the truth is, I need them. I feel like the pain of waiting is so intense that I try to distract myself from it by doing things I don't usually do, like eating too much. I don't know, I just feel stuck.

Please help. I need suggestions for how to wait patiently ... and what to do while I wait.

Also ... sometimes when everyone receives Communion, and I can't, I wonder if Jesus doesn't want me to receive Him, and that is why He is making me wait. I feel rejected.

I really need help.


#2

I think the Lord might find your frustration refreshing. Not because He likes that you're upset, but because you're upset about not being closer to Him. Some of the people you watch receive might not even think about what they are doing, meanwhile you are biting at the bit to reach Him. Take heart that soon enough, you'll be able to. Use the time until you can to prayer in adoration to Him, in gratitude that soon you will be able to be closer to Him and in your longing. Offer your frustrations to Him in reparation for the sins of people who neglect Him.

Make spiritual communion and visit Him often.

You could also take the time to read up on the Sacred Heart devotion. You can find plenty about it online or you could try to find this book: The Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus: How to Practice the Sacred Heart Devotion. It's on Amazon for 14 bucks, but it might be in the library, too.


#3

If only we all would feel the longing for Jesus that you do. This longing is a gift He is giving you even though it doesn’t feel like a gift.

There are several things you can do while waiting. First, while others are receiving communion, you should make a ‘spiritual communion’. Adore Him in the Eucharist and tell Him that, even though you can’t receive Him sacramentally, you would like Him to come spiritually into your heart. Welcome Him into your heart and your life and talk to Him then like you would talk to your best friend who has come to visit you.

If it’s possible, try to go into a church or chapel several times a week to kneel or sit near the tabernacle for 15 minutes or half an hour just to be with Him.

Offer your frustration and pain to Jesus to console Him and make reparation for the sins against Him in the Eucharist. Some people receive Him thoughtlessly, without love, or even in mortal sin. How rejected He must feel. His body has been taken to mock or sell on the internet. Satanists obtain the Eucharist for the purpose of profaning it.

Learn to pray the rosary and try to do so often. Get to know the Blessed Mother; she’s our mother too. She waited for Jesus for nine months after the annunciation. While He was in the tomb, she waited patiently for what would happen next. Then He ascended into heaven and she was left behind (for a while). She knows about waiting and will help you.

God bless you in this time of waiting.


#4

Anticipation makes the heart grow fonder. Proper preparation makes the sacraments more efficacious.

So prepare your heart for God all the more firmly and intently.

This is the time of preparation, clearing the ground, sweeping out the dust, making the air clean…

Make acts of love and desire for spiritual Communion. Acts of faith in the sacrament and the Church. Acts of hope for your future. :slight_smile:

Prepare yourself to be able to live properly and well and use the sacraments to the best. For confession, avoiding near occasions of sin, and hating sin and their near occasions and desires. Love of virtue, replacing bad habits with new spiritual ones, worldly entertainment with spiritual entertainment.

Dispose of the old things and attachments, prepare for the new.

Repent, do penance, and prepare. :slight_smile:

And read prayers and spiritual writings of the saints and listen to some of the good sermons below I urge you, they have great preparatory catechesis.


#5

Thank you for your replies and suggestions.

I do pray the rosary, as well as LOTH, and go to Adoration once a week. I'm familiar with the Sacred Heart devotion from reading St Margaret Mary's Autobiography, plus the Litany of the Sacred Heart that is prayed at my church on first Fridays, but I'll try to find the book you mention.

I like the idea of offering up the pain and frustration. I guess there isn't a way to make the pain go away or lessen ... and maybe even if it did, I would just become apathetic or something.

Any more suggestions are welcome, and your prayers if you can spare them. :blush:


#6

God loves you, He has grace sufficient for this stage of the journey for you! :) Pray for it! I will pray for you!


#7

Like you, I am waiting to be received into the Church. I understand your frustration. There are times when I wish I could receive the sacraments now because I know what a help they could be to me. At the same time, though, I understand why we have to wait, and there's even a part of me that appreciates waiting.

It's like knowing that you are going to receive the most precious gift in your life (and in a way it is). The longer you wait, the more you want it, and the more gratifying it will be to finally receive it. I believe we're to use this time to pray, clean house, and be as ready as possible to receive Him when the day comes.

It's also important to remember that the sacraments aren't the only source of grace for us. If you are in need of grace, pray the rosary, pray the chaplet of divine mercy, make use of holy water, etc. There are plenty of spiritual resources available for us while we prepare for Easter.

God bless.


#8

The longing that you feel is, in a sense, something all of us should have. true, most folks on the forum can receive Him sacramentally; but we are all waiting to see Him physically in everlasting life. If only everybody longed the way you do!

ICXC NIKA and Happy New Year!


#9

Remember this too.
God does everything with supreme reason.
He has given you this burning desire to receive the Blessed Sacrament. Now God, in his wisdom, is making you wait.
Why? Because he loves you so terribly much! Everything that happens to us is from God or allowed by God FOR THE SAKE OF OUR ETERNAL SOULS.
My point: be patient and wait on God’s timing. Take comfort in the knowledge that this period of waiting is the best possible thing for your eternal soul. If it wasn’t for the best our Lord would not allow it.
Another thought. Offer your current suffering to God for all those who receive Jesus but are not really aware of what they are doing.
:signofcross:


#10

[quote="Student09, post:1, topic:181454"]
I can't believe there are still three months left before I receive the sacraments! It's tearing me apart. I feel like my spiritual life is faltering with no support. I want to be baptized ... I want to be part of the Church ... I want to receive the Holy Spirit and to receive Jesus. I say I want them, but the truth is, I need them. I feel like the pain of waiting is so intense that I try to distract myself from it by doing things I don't usually do, like eating too much. I don't know, I just feel stuck.

Please help. I need suggestions for how to wait patiently ... and what to do while I wait.

Also ... sometimes when everyone receives Communion, and I can't, I wonder if Jesus doesn't want me to receive Him, and that is why He is making me wait. I feel rejected.

I really need help.

[/quote]

Augustine said, "Our hearts will not rest until they rest in thee" What you may be feeling is the same restlessness of which Augustine speaks. The human heart was made for God and God exists for the heart.

The Carmelite mystics would call what you're feeling a consolation. It is truly a consolation in that while you're not organically inside the Church, God is with you and he allows the soul to experience hunger for him. It is this experience of the soul that reminds the mind that God is close at hand.

Our Holy Father St. Francis went through a similar experience after leaving his parents' home. For three years he lived alone in caves and other solitary places. All he could do was pray. He knew that there was more, but he did not have the power to make it happen. What he did may help you. He threw himself into the present moment. He ceased to long and wait for what was coming, but decided to respond to what God gave him every day and at every moment. What happened was very interesting. Each time he went to prayer, to mass, to read the scriptures, he found a message. He never lost time thinking about it too long. He jumped on it without worrying about tomorrow. Whatever message God gave him that day, that was his command to follow.

What transpired was that he was transformed from a man who needed to have everything planned and programmed to a man who was able to give up all of his worldly and material attachments, because he became totally attached to God. He actually enjoyed playing this game with God. He would awaken and God would comand. He would respond and wait for a new comand. During those three years, he grew in intimacy with God. God became his personal friend, not just a transcendent God, but an incarnate God.

Sometimes, when we have these longings, as you are having, they are about two things. They are about what is to come, in you case the reception of the Sacraments and entrance into the Church. That is a temporal event and reality in that it has a planned date and time. But there is often a second reality that is not temporal. That reality is God's desire to lead you. For him to do that, you must let go of what will happen in three months. That will come. But in the meantime, God is trying to take you by the hand and show you something. You won't know what it is until you do like Francis. You have to wake up and close your eyes. With your eyes closed ask God, "What is your plan for today?" Then whatever God says to your soul, do it.

Francis found that by jumping off the cliff without any concern for himself, he never reached the bottom. God would always catch him. This helped him grow in his trust of God. But you can only trust if you take the risk of letting God catch you. When you do and he does, then you grow into this relationship of brothers. This is what inspired Francis to call himself, Brother Francis. It was not a religious title. It was who he was. He was Jesus' younger brother. He became the Lord's younger brother by playing this game with Jesus. Together, they trusted the Father. He would listen to the Holy Spirit and do what the Spirit said. He would do it for the love of the Father.

What was most interesting about this experience, which his sons and daughters today try to imitate, is that the things that God asked him to do ranged from the ridiculous to the most normal things of everyday life . . . from rebuilding delapidated chapels to taking food to the local leper hospital or spending an exgtra hour in prayer, sometimes working a little harder. Each day it was different. But they were always small things in the eyes of the world, but huge in God's eyes, because they were what God wanted of him each day.

So, just let go of what will happen in three months. Enjoy the consolation of knowing that God is near. Thank God for that awareness and while you're thanking him, ask him, "Lord, what is the plan today?"

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF :)


#11

The people of Israel waited HOW many thousand years for their Saviour, Jesus, after He was first promised in the Garden of Eden? And the Church has waited 2,000 years for His return, has She not? And you're getting hot under the collar about a matter of three months?

Keep making spiritual communions and telling Jesus how much you long for him. Think of it as a time of joyful anticipation above all - like being engaged to a lovely girl/guy and spending three months in preparations for the wedding, or a pregnant woman happily anticipating the birth of her child.

The day will come soon enough - take time to appreciate the journey as well as the destination.


#12

[quote="Shin, post:6, topic:181454"]
God loves you, He has grace sufficient for this stage of the journey for you! :) Pray for it! I will pray for you!

[/quote]

Thanks, Shin. :)

And thank you Brother JR, for your advice. I will try!


#13

[quote="LilyM, post:11, topic:181454"]
The people of Israel waited HOW many thousand years for their Saviour, Jesus, after He was first promised in the Garden of Eden? And the Church has waited 2,000 years for His return, has She not? And you're getting hot under the collar about a matter of three months?
.

[/quote]

Yep. :o


#14

Yes.. Appreciate the journey.. the world waited and groaned for a saviour.. and how many lived who never saw it..

I am thinking back to my own starting journey now. A good reminder LilyM. :)


#15

Don’t be frustrated. We all know time goes by fast although it always seems slow to those who are waiting. However, I think it is a good thing of your anxious waiting. This experience will remind you how precious the Holy Communion is. Hopefully you will always cherish the Eucharist and well prepare yourself to receive it.

Patience is one of the virtue we all need to develop and strengthen. Now is the opportunity for you to work on this virtue; therefore, give thanks to God!

Easter is coming, expect your big event (first Communion) with joy. God bless!


#16

aw no He’s not rejecting you! Sometimes God keeps Himself at a distance so that we may long for Him all the more :slight_smile: I know how you feel cause I went through it too!! What I did is I went to Adoration. At times this made me want to receive the Eucharist even more which was difficult to deal with, lol, but it also gave a lot of peace. Jesus loves you so much and He’s leading you to the Church :hug1: it’s going to be a really joyous day once you receive the Sacraments! don’t give up :slight_smile: pray the Rosary and go to Adoration if you can. (at least, go and pray in church before the Tabernacle). Read the lives of the Saints… keep on exploring the faith!


#17

[quote="Student09, post:1, topic:181454"]
I can't believe there are still three months left before I receive the sacraments! It's tearing me apart. I feel like my spiritual life is faltering with no support. I want to be baptized ... I want to be part of the Church ... I want to receive the Holy Spirit and to receive Jesus. I say I want them, but the truth is, I need them. I feel like the pain of waiting is so intense that I try to distract myself from it by doing things I don't usually do, like eating too much. I don't know, I just feel stuck.

Please help. I need suggestions for how to wait patiently ... and what to do while I wait.

Also ... sometimes when everyone receives Communion, and I can't, I wonder if Jesus doesn't want me to receive Him, and that is why He is making me wait. I feel rejected.

I really need help.

[/quote]

A young friend of mine anticipated her upcoming marriage. She took squares of paper with the numbers 1 through 266 printed on them. (Yes, she was that far ahead of the game.) Then she passed them out to her family, friends and co-workers asking people to color them in different fashions. She then connected the squares to make a calendar of some sort (I never saw the final calendar). Then every day she would cut off one number in the lead up to her wedding.

Another idea - try watching one video about the Catholic faith each week prior to the big day. This way you will pass part of the time educating yourself about your new faith. Instead of videos you might read books.

When we have religious education on Monday evenings we meet in the church for prayers. Before heading to the class room I explain to my students what one item in the church is. The last item was the papal flag and the first item in the new year will be the tabernacle. On the door of our tabernacle are the letters alpha and omega. I will explain the meaning of this to my young friends. This only takes a minute or two yet they will better understand what they see when they attend mass. You might pick one item to learn about at each mass.

Do you have a school associated with you parish? I recently volunteered to help at the school after work. In January I will get off work, swim, attend noon mass and then spend an hour at the school helping kids read, as a playground monitor, or whatever they need me to do.

Can you attend daily mass? I used to think that mass every Sunday was a lot. Now I am trying to go to mass every day for a whole year. Every day it seems like yesterday's mass happened so long ago. It is really neat to experience this.

Can you begin some sort of ministry? An example would be visiting at a nursing home. Starting in January I will be back to visiting my friend Della at a local home. I have not visited her since last June. I was on a bicycle ride from Alaska to Las Vegas. The point here is that you do not need to wait to live the Gospel. So come up with something that fits you. I also redeem pop cans (here in Oregon the cans are worth 5 cents each) and then send the money over seas to a nun in Tanzania. A house is being built with the money. Those are two ideas.

Could you volunteer as an assistant for religious education? I am sure teachers would be happy to have help. You can ask you DRE (director of religious education) about this.

Before I went on my 5 month bicycle ride I made a daily trip (for a week) to the ladies guild with extra clothes, books, tools, camping gear, etc. They had their rummage sale right before I left. If I had kept the stuff it would have sat around doing nobody any good so I thought it best that someone put it to use. Do you have any stuff you can donate to charity?

Is there a homeless shelter nearby? You could volunteer an hour one day each week at a shelter.

Those are some ideas on how you might focus some of your energy. As I read your post I could sense your enthusiasm. It made me smile.

God bless


#18

Thanks, Highwayhound. I don't think I have time to do most of the things you mentioned, though they are good things. I have often thought of volunteering at the local homeless shelter or something like that, but I'm just too busy with my studies this year. I have been going to daily Mass, though.

I just wanted to post this. I love the psalms and pray them daily; lately I've been reading this psalm over and over because it perfectly describes how I feel:

**"Oh God, you are my God, for you I long;
for you my soul is thirsting.
My body pines for you
like a dry, weary land without water.
So I gaze on you in the sanctuary
to see your strength and your glory.

For your love is better than life,
my lips will speak your praise.
So I will bless you all my life,
in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul shall be filled as with a banquet,
my mouth shall praise you with joy.

On my bed I remember you.
On you I muse through the night
for you have been my help;
in the shadow of your wings I rejoice.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand holds me fast."**

Ps. 63: 2-9

Many blessings to everyone on this feast of Mary, the Mother of God.


#19

Oh my friend what a choice opportunity you have been given in having to wait!!

We live in such a culture where we are so conditioned to having things RIGHT NOW, when we want them, on demand. We have such a narsicistic and selfish-self-centered western world.

Right now you are forced to accept the “denial” that is presented to you…Soon you will be asked to make self-denials of other parts of your life.

We are denied the opportunity to learn to be patient unto long suffering that is being handed to you. Like He is with us.

He is handing you an opportunity to learn something He is. Patient unto the point of suffering.

Thank Him for such a great and choice opportunity.
Know that in the early and ancient Church people literally had to wait YEARS before they could come to the banquet table. And were even allowed to attend the entire Mass but escourted out…

Thank Him for this chance. Thank Him for His wisdom in making you wait, making you hunger and thirst.

Make your soon to be period of Purification and Enlightenment a productive and fruitful on…

This time will help you keep in perspective what is important in life and what is not.

God Bless.

:thumbsup:


#20

I feel your frustration because I would be pretty impatient if I had to wait 3 months for something I feel I am ready for now.

My mom is 81 and she gives me the impression that in her day anyone who wanted a sacrament simply had to go to the church and get it. There were no RCA (did I spell that right) or marriage preparation courses. For some reason, the church has implemented these things (I am sure it is all for a good reason). Nonetheless it can be a frustration and I will pray that God gives you the strenght to persever

CM


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