Frustration in being continuously told "its just a date"


This I also think is overly simplistic. We often hear from a certain type of guy that “women only want money” who point out that wealthy, well educated guys with good careers have no trouble getting dates. Doubtless it’s true that when women are assessing whether they want to raise kids with someone, the economics are factored in, but I don’t think that always tells the whole story. Obviously, cynical gold diggers exist (how else do you explain Anna Nicole Smith’s marriage to the 95 year old millionaire) but I don’t think that’s always the only explanation.

A guy who has a booming career where he makes a good salary isn’t just signaling “I can buy you nice stuff”. He’s also signalling that he likely has other desirable traits: responsibility, competence, the ability to get along with people, tact, maturity, etc. There are very few people who get rich by being irresponsible, dumb, tactless, and childish.



Well, once again, I can’t really argue with someone who is going to hyperfocus on the worst parts of a thing and pretend they are all that it is. Especially because I don’t really have any special interest in PUA techniques.

You’re right… Once again, picking the low hanging fruit. But you know what is perfectly fine? Thinking about women as human beings who have natural tendencies toward hypergamy.

Really loving shooting at those easy targets, aren’t you. Dollars to dimes says you’ve read three or four CNN articles about “incels” and never actually spent more than a few minutes on an acrual incel forum finding out how the majority of them actually think.

Once again, this is not a serious criticism. Most people go through life perfectly fine not knowing much about theology, philosophy, science, medicine, psychology, or mathematics. Whether “most people” know about or subscribe to a thing has zero bearing on it’s truth. Also the “red pill” philosophy is too broad now to only be described exclusively in its original form as a PUA theory about hypergamy.

I agree. But that’s not helpful advice, so if that is all you have then of course “dorks” are going to look elsewhere.

Also you know what, I’m kind of tired of running down men who struggle with women as “dorks” simply because they don’t fit into the gynocentric standards of today. I used it as an example because BoomBoomMancini called them dorks, but it really is rude.

Part of the reason I never went for Pickup is that I never really struggled getting girls to go out with me. Usually I can get a date by smiling, teasing her a bit, and then asking her out. And typically I can get a second date (though sometimes things just don’t work out.) I’m not currently ready for marriage so I try not to go too far beyond one or two dates, but I don’t really have any issue with women to where I would need to worry about learning all the PUA techniques.



That is a minor help. I think there was a study where women were rating men based on likelihood for dating them and for every inch under 6’ the women wanted him to make an extra $20,000/yr lol.


I am NOT saying all women are like this. There are millions of men under 6’ with normal jobs that have wives and girlfriends. Heck, I knew a guy whp was 5’5" who had a wife and two kids. Granted he didn’t have the best relationship but that was due to other stuff.

It is indicative though of how little money means as an attractor.



Except I didn’t. I acknowledged that beneath all the silly lingo there are bits of truth scattered here and there, and I acknowledged that the examples everyone was laughing at were probably selected because they were extreme.

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It’s not dorky to struggle with women, particularly if the person is struggling because of something outside their control like a social disorder or an extreme physical abnormality. It IS dorky to dive into a subculture based on trying to use Jedi mind tricks on women.

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This in itself will not create a happy marriage or relationship. I’m a woman and this is not the first thing on my mind when considering a man as a potential partner. I do like a certain amount of education simply because that is a better match for me (but teacher vs doctor … no, honestly, don’t care). At age 20, I would have considered any guy pursuing a degree on campus to be a reasonable match as far as being successful enough. He’s likely going to find a job above minimum wage.



Well yeah if you waltz into WizardChan saying you’re a girl you’re gonna get some hate. But go onto R9K and you’ll actually get maybe one or two insults and 50+ lonely robots asking you to be their e-gf

If I went into WizardChan I’d get hate. Anyone who has ever been smiled at by a girl is going to get hate there. It comes with the territory. These are lonely, broken guys, and your presence there hurts them.

Lot’s of ideologies have inspired murders, including feminism. Not an argument.



I’m kind of intrigued to visit these magical places.



Plenty of helpful advice has been given. Get a good job, have good friendships, be in good health, and things tend to work out.

This ain’t rocket surgery. Plenty of nerds like myself married well without resorting to a bunch of PUA crap.



If you’re accusing Incels of being mysogynists then I’m not going to argue with you. They are miserable people lol, but they do create some of the dankest memes AND they can be fun to talk to if you have a very thick skin. Most girls don’t care about dank memes and most girls can’t handle the heat a hyper-masculine community pushes out.

My only problem is with the blanket condemnation of incels. Some of them are just really lonely and are actually very nice people who don’t hate women at all. They have some terrible misconceptions, but no real hatred.

But this is off topic, so I’ll let you have the last word.



Lord knows I’m no Casanova, but I have had successful relationships and am currently in a good one, and am also quite good at managing to avoid awkward rejections. So here are my 2c. This has worked for me, other things work for other people.

First off, I have never had success online dating. I think so much of attraction is unexpected, not something you can find by comparing resumes. My philosophy is that you meet good matches by living a socially active lifestyle doing things your good matches do. Join a running club. Browse for groups you’re interested in. Ask around at work to see if anyone has groups they do. A lot of this will involve having to be kind of brave and being the new guy. But this way you can allow chemistry to happen.

So do this for a while, be patient, and eventually you will meet someone you hit it off with. You can gauge if they are single and build up some rapport. Then, this is what I usually do: talk about restaurants. Ask if she knows any good ones around. Then ask if she’d want to go there with you. This is pretty natural and also pretty obvious what you’re doing so it gives her time to think about it. so if shes not into you in that way she will find a way to steer you off that course in a way that prevents embarrassment.

You dont have to do that exactly but the general idea is to find a way to be clear that you’re interested and also have escape plans.

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I think we just have to distinguish between individual incels and “incel” as a philisophy. The philosophy is hot garbage: entitlement, self-pity, and resentment all curdled into an awful concoction.

Individuals, of course, might turn to it out of some pain or brokenness that isn’t really their fault. They might believe some crazy nonsense but not really be culpable for it. I’m sure there are some guys in the Klan who aren’t really bad people at their core but are just unconsciously trying to win the approval of their abusive, racist stepdad.



As far as why a date can ruin a froendship, I used to not understand that until I rejected a girl who was interested in me. It makes things kind of awkward, I dont know why exactly. Just a fact of life. But most people you ask out you’ll not have to deal with again.



Is Marlboro man for real?



‘Most girls’ ‘most girls can’t handle … ’. You speak about us as if we’re another species. You come across as a troll, mate. Please Stop trying to seek attention in negative ways.



Well, I do hear y’all are from Venus.

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We’re from earth same as you.

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We are not an alien race.



Also OP if you are getting decent date acceptance rates but bad second date renewals that suggests your first date game is bad, not your personality or appearance. Which is encouraging! Because you can improve your first date game.

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