Full-Time Motherhood? How Selfish


#1

courant.com/news/opinion/op_ed/hc-freshshiller1105.artnov05,0,6618306.story

<<Across the nation, privileged young women are seeking to be competitive candidates to gain admittance to prestigious universities. Impressive SAT scores, awards, grades and extracurricular activities are of the utmost importance for college-bound high school students and their families.>>


#2

That article is ridiculous. It actually has me borderline honked-off. What is wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom? My husband and I are choosing that path for our growing family. I do not find it to be selfish in the least. Sometimes I think it is one of the most selfless things a mother can do. We give up the careers, extra income, daily adult interaction - for what? For our children. So they can have a mother home every day to raise them and mold them. I know some families do not have that choice. For those that must work, no respect is lost - you do what you have to do. But for me, I am blessed to have a husband who emotionally and financially will support this choice. We will raise our children, not a daycare or babysitter. In no way is this me being dominated by a male society. And who cares if I offend the feminists with my “ruined potential”. I am going to be a mother, a wife, a homemaker, a churchgoer, among other things. Sorry if that is not a full enough life for some women. It is enough for me and I am grateful God has given me this life. I cant say I would want it any other way.


#3

[quote=crobynb]That article is ridiculous. It actually has me borderline honked-off. What is wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom? My husband and I are choosing that path for our growing family. I do not find it to be selfish in the least. Sometimes I think it is one of the most selfless things a mother can do. We give up the careers, extra income, daily adult interaction - for what? For our children. So they can have a mother home every day to raise them and mold them. I know some families do not have that choice. For those that must work, no respect is lost - you do what you have to do. But for me, I am blessed to have a husband who emotionally and financially will support this choice. We will raise our children, not a daycare or babysitter. In no way is this me being dominated by a male society. And who cares if I offend the feminists with my “ruined potential”. I am going to be a mother, a wife, a homemaker, a churchgoer, among other things. Sorry if that is not a full enough life for some women. It is enough for me and I am grateful God has given me this life. I cant say I would want it any other way.
[/quote]

Ditto!

Preach it sista!


#4

readerep@courant.com

Looks like this is where you can voice your opinion on this oped piece.

I just knew it would rile everyone here! :smiley:

Jennifer


#5

grrrr . . .I am still growling. I think my blood pressure is up. I think this has my baby speck upset too. We need some . . . cake. Yeah, cake will make it all better.


#6

[quote=Jennifer J]I just knew it would rile everyone here! :smiley:
[/quote]

Umm, excuse me while I put down my bon-bons so I can type.

No, I’m not the least bit riled. I think it’s funny. Let the feminists explain how women should have the right to choose only as long as we choose what they want us to choose. The poor, misguided 20 year old author of that article. She’s obviously so indocrinated that she actually believes she’s too intelligent to sing the ABC’s.


#7

Yes, it’s intolerance alright. If women don’t conform to their notion of choice, then they are blighted, oppressed, spoiled, or selfish. This author needs to live a few years longer before she passes judgement on the rest of us!


#8

Well because I don’t have a brain, I have to ask my husband’s permission to type this, hold on…Honey, can I use the computer…Yes!, Thank you honey. I love being a submissive victorian wife, wasting my brain on raising children, clean the house, waiting on my husband while he pays all the bills:whacky: and I passed that one to the next generation with my daughter who is wasting her brain rasing children…:rolleyes: What a whack job:D She needs to get out in the real world.


#9

[quote=gardenswithkids]Umm, excuse me while I put down my bon-bons so I can type.

No, I’m not the least bit riled. I think it’s funny. Let the feminists explain how women should have the right to choose only as long as we choose what they want us to choose. The poor, misguided 20 year old author of that article. She’s obviously so indocrinated that she actually believes she’s too intelligent to sing the ABC’s.
[/quote]

Exactly.

/Unfortunately, the future of our nation has been placed in the hands of elite young women who have chosen to thoughtlessly improve their own lives while jeopardizing the future of those that they had the power to assist/

I’m afraid she’s a little off the mark. I can’t think of anything more selfless than giving up your time and earning potential to raise children and give them a happy home. These feminists fought for the right for women to be able to choose between staying home or going to work. What they assumed was that all women would want what they wanted, which isn’t reality. So when some choose family over career, they’ve made the wrong choice? How about the good things - at least these women had the opportunity to become educated, for its own sake, and make the decision on how they want their life to go.

I think she has a lot to learn. And how she comes off at 20 years old snidely judging other people’s career decisions in such a matter-of-fact way is kind of funny. I feel bad for her.

climbing down from soapbox


#10

Pleeesssssssssszze, Oh the misguided youth of today. That article absolutely stunk!!! Why would any paper have even bothered to print it? (maybe her uncle is the editor or something).


#11

[quote=Jennifer J]courant.com/news/opinion/op_ed/hc-freshshiller1105.artnov05,0,6618306.story

<<Across the nation, privileged young women are seeking to be competitive candidates to gain admittance to prestigious universities. Impressive SAT scores, awards, grades and extracurricular activities are of the utmost importance for college-bound high school students and their families.>>
[/quote]

Actually I think you could assist people quite a bit. If you have an Ivy league education & you can be a stay at home mom. You can always use some of your time volunteering, and spend more time directly helping the needy. You can let dad watch the kids or hire a good baby sitter for part of the time. That way you don’t even have to do drudgery 40-60 hrs a week at a job, but spend 20 or so quality hours directly assisting people.

Chances are too that if you have a good relationship with the husband, you can be the one doing the leg workof finding charities that you want to help. That Ivy league education will probably help out your presentation making it persuesive.


#12

did you see the age of the writer of the article? She is 20 and probably not married or having kids yet, oh, I pray she has a dozen and then let her talk so tough :smiley:


#13

LOL, you guys are great! :smiley: Very funny. Actually, I think many fulltime working Moms are the oppressed ones these days. They are often supporting their husbands’ spending habits and appitites for toys, I’ve observed. The SAHMs seem much more rested and the kids are usually better off with a full time Mom.

I work myself, so I’m not trashing working Moms here. But this is absurd.


#14

Perhaps we should cut the author of the article a little slack (and I emphasize the word “little”). She’s only 20, and she’s majoring in SOCIOLOGY, for crying out loud. :frowning:


#15

Oh the good old days… when I was 20 and thought I knew it all. She probably isn’t married and doesn’t have children… and a few short years ago she was wasn’t even old enough to drive. Her opinion about motherhood matters… why?

My favorite part is where she assumes that SAHM’s come from privleged homes… ha! Wait till my husband ! He’ll :rotfl:


#16

[quote=carol marie]Oh the good old days… when I was 20 and thought I knew it all. She probably isn’t married and doesn’t have children… and a few short years ago she was wasn’t even old enough to drive. Her opinion about motherhood matters… why?

My favorite part is where she assumes that SAHM’s come from privleged homes… ha! Wait till my husband ! He’ll :rotfl:
[/quote]

Oh yes, darling aren’t we all.:rotfl: Oh yes, just yesterday while changing my son’s shirt for the 5th time and did more wash, cooked dinner, vacumn dusted, mopped floors, clean the toilets and all the other thing I privleged to do:rolleyes: I was thinking how easy I got it, I really thought how spoiled I am while scrubbing the toilets:D


#17

Women like this drive me nuts! You all had it right. The feminists want women to have choices, as long as the choice we make it THEIR choice. It’s sick. These women with careers, children, husbands, how many of them hate to leave their children everyday? How many of them would love to stay home with their children and be the primary caregiver, but instead women like this make them feel bad for wanting to stay home. They feel like they are only worthwhile human beings if they contribute to society through a job. Women like this hurt other women! It drives me nuts! Ans yes, she may only be 20, but I fear this may be her views for some time. Indoctination like this can be hard to overcome. The feminists have really taken over her brain.


#18

[quote=Pentecost2005]Perhaps we should cut the author of the article a little slack (and I emphasize the word “little”). She’s only 20, and she’s majoring in SOCIOLOGY, for crying out loud. :frowning:
[/quote]

If she thinks she is old enough, educated enough and smart enough to publish such utter nonsense, then no slack need be cut. She should be able to “suffer the consequences” of her actions.:yup:

BTW - no more honorable position can a woman hold than that of mother - God bless them all!:clapping:

KB


#19

[font=Arial]Just thought I would add that as a 19 yr old college student, that article made me sick. I was raised by my mom and stepdad who worked so much I spent alot of my childhood alone when I wasn’t out with my friends or visiting family, and I have always wished that my parents would have been able to stay home with me…most of the time all I had to keep me company as a child were movies and tv. I have observed my aunt raise her 5 children since I was 10 up until now, and she is a very devout Catholic, homeschooling, wonderful mother, and she is my ultimate role model. I admire everything she does as a mother, a wife, and teacher of her children and I hope I can be the exact same thing for my kids one day. They aren’t rich and they don’t even have tv, but they are perfectly happy with the simple things of life because they are all rich with the Holy Spirit. Those 5 little girls are the best behaved children I have ever seen and I know why, too. If it were not for them, I probably would have kept my past aspirations of becoming a major career woman. [/font]
[font=Arial][/font]
[font=Arial]Everyone might have dreams of making money and having this big career at one point or another which is fine, but I think that once children come into the picture, most of those dreams change because then I think you get this natural urge to be there for your kids and a major career can get in the way of that. I don’t think crazy feminists should be preaching on how women should live their lives…I think that the woman should live according to the vocation God has given them, whatever that may be. I think that just because some choose to stay home for their children, doesn’t make them any less of a person…in fact I think it makes them a stronger person and way far away from selfish…I’ve watched my aunt deal with her kids and as sweet as they can be, there are times when they can be a handful but thats just kids for you. I’ve never witnessed a more fun-loving, selfless, giving, holy job out there than being a SAHM… I have the utmost respect for all of you who choose this path and I hope to be one myself one day…:wink: [/font]


#20

Sacrificial love is never selfish.

There are many ways in which we parents sacrifice for our children. Some times a parent must work in order to maintain the family even though they would rather be spending more time with their children. That is sacrificial. And a stay at home Mom who is dedicated to the upbringing of her family is always a noble choice and is rarely ever selfish.


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