Fundamentalist Urban Legends

The comment on another thread about Martin Luther got me to think about all the “Urban Legends” those of us who went to fundamentalist churches used to hear.

Like the one about the Russians who put a microphone in the center of the Earth and heard screams in Hell.

Or a rare red heifer born in Israel; the kind needed to sacrifice for the rebuilt Temple.

There was once a scientist who finds the “universe’s lost time” in the Bible’s accounts of Joshua and Hezekiah and becomes a Christian.

Now its your turn…

Oh man, one of my kids came across a website like that - it described what “they” encountered while drilling for oil…

My son was horrified until I helped him think it through, and see it for the nonsense it was.

Decades and decades ago when I was in a conservative fellowship…a picture was being circulated which was a frend of a friend who took a pic of a cloud formation while flying home from vacation…when developed a man was standing in the clouds which looked a whole lot like our modern anglizized white “Jesus”.

That one is easy. It originated in the old Weekly World News supermarket tabloid. :rolleyes:
I remember telling one preacher, after I heard him cite this in one of his evangelistic sermons, that it was a hoax.
His reply was "well, if somebody gets saved out of it, who will know?’

Oh, my mom goes crazy over all of those “miraculous” cloud pictures that get circulated through e-mail and facebook! It is sooo obvious they are fake, but she passes them on faithfully.

But then you get all of these Virgin Mary on burnt toast miracles among the Catholics! Protestants don’t have a monopoly on being gullible! :stuck_out_tongue:

I have some sola scriptura friends who think dinosaurs lived at the same time as man. One of the things they said about this that kind of stuck a little hook in my mind was, “Well, if there was no death until the fall of man, then how could the dinosaurs die out before man was here?”

I don’t really much care if dinosaurs lived at the same time as man or not. I’m inclined to think they didn’t because that’s what I’ve been taught, I guess…but I don’t see where it makes much of a difference one way or another. I’m just glad dinos aren’t living when I am!

I think my friends think about things like this and put forth these notions because “you can’t trust anyone who isn’t sola scriptura.” Like scientists, etc.

I was raised in a fundamentalist church and was told to memorize as much of the Bible as possible because one day my Bible could be forcibly taken from me. I guess it didn’t do me any harm to memorize verses.

Sounds like your mom has gotten on some type of Baysider email list. :eek::shrug:

There are permutations, too. Like the rancher who found a newborn red heifer in his barn in Mississippi and delivered it to the Israeli embassy :slight_smile:

What about the one where the Apollo moon landings prove a young universe, because in an old universe, the moon would be covered with half a mile of space dust, which was not there? (No knowledge of the unmanned spacecraft that had disproved such a condition, or thought as to why they would send astronauts into such a deadly expected trap).


To be fair here, the woman who saw Our Lady was a Baptist, and after finding solitude in seeing the image of Our Lady eventually converted to Catholicism because there is minimal Mary in the Baptist theology.

Landing on the moon is an urban legend. It was all faked.

I don’t really believe that…I just had to type something to subscribe to the thread.:smiley:

That we worship Mary

I don’t think the possibility of a red heifer being found is an Urban Legend. There have been attempts to find one in the not so distant past and the Temple Institute… one in 1997 and one in 2002.

Ironic I just heard this on Texas Radio …oh…maybe a week or so ago. Siberia-Sounds of hell.

You Tube is drenched with this type of thing also.

How about “everything Jack Chick says”?

Here are some specifics:

Dungeons and Dragons is “intense occult training” that will prepare you for entrance into a coven.

Druids engaged in human sacrifice (specifically going door to door), in exchange for a victim, they left a jack o’lantern behind. 1) The only evidence we have of Celtic tribes engaging in human sacrifice come from ROMAN accounts, who were currently engaged in wiping them off the face of the Earth. Peter Berresford Ellis notes that Christian sources are silent regarding human sacrifice. 2) The pumpkins Chick would be most familiar with are native to the Americas, not Europe.

All Witches are Satanists who sacrifice children and kill anyone who tries to leave their coven.

Regarding one of the authors featured on his site, William Schnoebelen, he states that " was initiated into the Alexandrian Wicca on Imbolc, February 2, 1973 and made a High Priest and Magus in September of the same year." This is IMPOSSIBLE! You need at LEAST a year and a day of study to even reach the first degree, never mind the second or third degree, never mind the amount of experience you would need to be “presiding over one of the oldest and largest networks of covens in the Midwest”. No Alexandrian Wiccan in their right mind would allow someone that inexperienced to take on so much responsibility!

The infamous hitchhiker that people would pick up who look at them and say “Jesus is coming” and then disappear.

We had a preacher once who stopped in his sermon and claimed “in his spirit” that “he heard footsteps” and the crowd went crazy and he yelled into the mic “JESUS IS COMING!!!” and took off running…

He got caught in adultery a few years later. Is it any wonder why I am messed up witnessing all this in my youth?:eek::thumbsup:

I love urban legends. Thanks for this thread.

It sounds like you’re mainly looking for “religious” ULs from Protestant/Fundamentalist camps, right? If you want secular ULs, I have books full of them! So fun to read!

The main fundamentalist UL that my husband and I were aware of as Protestants is that the Vatican keeps records of everyone born in the world. This enables the Vatican to “make people disappear” or “adjust their minds” when necessary in order to protect the “interests” of the Catholic Church.

Bwoo ha ha! :eek:

I think this UL is familiar to many Protestants, especially fundamentalist, Pentecostal, and evangelical Protestants.

Constantine “Paganized” Christianity, and the “true believers” were forced to go underground or face persecution from the ROMAN Catholic Church :rolleyes:

UL is that the Early Church disappeared :rolleyes:

I’m surprised nobody mentioned backmasking.

I ususally take such UL with a whole lot of salt.

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