[quote="mandajane, post:15, topic:280163"]
Short Answer: Because I love him.
Long Answer: He is not his family, and in the grand scheme of things, his family is not going to be a huge part of our lives. The only mean members of his family are his mother and sisters. Three, out of many, many, more. His father, and all his brothers, his aunts and uncles and cousins, his coworkers, his friends, they all like me. I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater, when I have a good, stable, chaste, God-centered relationship, just because three women want to be petty.
But that's not the issue I'm looking for advice on. All I want to know about is how to handle their disruptiveness at Mass.
Short answer: don't go to mass with them. Your FH is right, they're not going to change their mass behavior and any attempts by you are going to come off as being combative and defensive. You don't have to tell them why you don't want to attend mass with them, because that would probably only make things worse, but you can tell them its time for you two to make your own habits or traditions for what mass or parish to attend.
BUT, I do have to say, to say your FH is not his family or that they will not be a huge part of your lives, may be a bit naive on your part. I was once in your shoes with a similar problem, felt the exact same way. Being married to my husband is the BEST decision I ever made, but trying to fool myself that things wouldn't be as bad as they were with his mother and his family that sounds a lot like your FH's family, that was one of the worst decisions I ever made. DH and I both admit we should have had our eyes wide open and formed a plan of "action" from the day after the wedding ceremony until we had to make some hard, hard decisions later about his family's controlling nature. We should have prepared ourselves more, not ignoring the true nature of the situation. Just don't tell yourself it may not be a problem if you're already having a problem before you're even married.