Lately, I have been dealing with my gender cross. I don’t like to tell others about it, because I hate it when people worry over me, but, I figured, I might as well tell you guys about it, because, God will use it to console some souls (He is the Comforter!).
For as long as I can remember, I have had this gender cross. It is a desire to be a woman, and I don’t understand why I have it. Oh, I can think up plenty of reasons how I got it, but, I don’t understand why God has given me this cross. Nevertheless, I try to bear it patiently, by His grace.
Interests which accompany my little cross are: I like cute and adorable stuff, I like the color pink, I enjoy good fragrences, I sometimes read shojo (girl comics), and I love bubble baths.
Sometimes I will catch myself swinging my hips like a woman while a walk, like I’m trying (and failing) to be girly. Other times, I will shake my butt when I’m happy, which is weird, and I don’t know if that’s particularly girly.
Recently, I have been wondering if this is really a gender cross or an age cross, because, mentally, I am 12 years old (and chronologically I am 23), and I do have some childish interests too, like cartoons, acting silly, and mini-golf. Another reason I think it might be an age cross is because I prefer strong or big beautiful women, and I have a great love for Mother Mary.
I don’t fully understand my little cross, but I cherish it. It is God’s gift to me.
I ask you for your prayers, and advice, so I can bear my cross patiently and in accordance to God’s Will.