Getting involved with a Mormon girl, concerns

So I an older, single, practicing Catholic man. My long hours at work and long commute has made it almost impossible to have a relationship for many years. When I got more serious about my faith I wondered if I could remain chaste if I got involved with a woman.
Well, a beautiful prayerful woman fell right into my lap at work. There was an instant connection that was obvious to both of us. Now, a few dates and a lot of time spent together later we have officially started a relationship and I am becoming attached to this woman. I could see this woman possibly the one. Problem is, she is Mormon and the more I read about Mormonism the more scared I get. Any advice from others is greatly appreciated. Will this just not work?

You need to pray about this seriously and ask for guidance from God. There are many good qualities that Mormons possess, but the things that make us different can’t be ignored either.

It would be good to find out how set she is in her Mormon ways, too. This is a topic you two need to discuss together. Remember God needs to always be first in your life, but that doesn’t necessarily rule this woman out, but proceed carefully.

God bless you and your friend!

For Mormons, marriage is absolutely essential and Mormon women’s piety is rooted and fed by the demand of the Church that they find a spouse, one who will be led by their persuasion to convert. Mormonism is not just a non-Christian religion, it is an all-encompassing way of life &thought, so it is very hard to tell, in dating a Mormon, where exactly the Church mission ends and the relationship begins. They are, for Mormon folk, one and the same.

Agreed. According to a Mormon website, there are three layers, or kingdoms (notice the plural) of Heaven.

[LIST]
*]The Celestial Kingdom is reserved for the most Godly.
[/LIST]

[LIST]
*]The Terrestrial Kingdom is reserved for the honorable persons who were lax in their work.[/LIST]

[LIST]
*]The Telestial Kingdom is reserved for those who are murderers, adulterers, and all other non-believers. They enter this Kingdom after spending time in Hell, or the spirit prison.[/LIST]

[LIST]
*]Perdition is a fourth part of the spiritual world, for those who are just that bad.[/LIST]

This is one of many reasons why the differences between us and them *cannot *be ignored.

Anyway, if you are indeed called to marry this woman, then God knows that you have the fortitude to handle such a marriage. Keep that fortitude working via prayerful reflection and divine protection. Blessed be our guardian angels, who watch over us day and night…who protect us, and whose protective abilities will increase when we call for them…:slight_smile:

Further Reading: catholic.com/tracts/distinctive-beliefs-of-the-mormon-church

Also note that marrying a non Christian needs to be approved. If you come to that point then consult your priest.

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You should be scared. I am a woman who was born and raised Mormon. Do you have a sense of how True Believing Mormon she is? I assume that she is.

For a Mormon woman, the most important thing is to be married (“sealed”) in the LDS temple. In order to do that, both the man and woman have to be faithful, tithe-paying LDS. She also wants to “have the priesthood in her home”. This means marriage to a “worthy” LDS man who holds the priesthood. As a faithful Catholic, you will never be this.

LDS women are under a lot of family and social pressure to marry in the temple. Their eternal destiny depends on it. They are taught this from a young age. When I was in my 20’s, I lost out on many opportunities to date non-LDS men because I refused to compromise on having my “temple marriage”. If she is older and never married, there is a chance that she has accepted that this is not likely and is open to marrying a non-Mormon. But be careful, because later on in the relationship, she may decide to push you to convert so she can have her temple marriage.

In the LDS community, you will be considered “less than” because you are not a “worthy” LDS priesthood holder. She will have sympathy for having a “non-member” husband. Even if she doesn’t directly try to convert you, I would not be surprised if members of her ward fellowship and love-bomb you in an effort to convert you.

I won’t tell you to run away, but I suggest that you be very careful. The main reason I won’t tell you to run away is because my Eastern Orthodox husband was very patient with me and we are now both Catholic. Miracles do happen. According to an emeritus general authority and former historian of the LDS church, Marlin Jensen, Mormons are leaving the LDS church “in droves”.

There are usually fairly active threads related to Mormonism on the Non-Religions forum, and a good number of ex-Mormon Catholics post regularly. Another good resource for information about the LDS church is MormonThink.

I would say no, it won’t work, if you are serious about your faith and if she is about hers.

Mormonism and Catholicism are two completely different faiths, and they are not compatible with each other. How would you raise your kids? There is no middle ground between Mormonism and the Catholic faith.

Thank you all for your advice. A bit more information about this woman. She was born and raised Catholic by her biological parents and grandmother. Apparently her “Catholic” father became involved with a woman while still married to her mother. This woman apparently got him into drugs and satanism. He was also an alcoholic and very abusive to them. He was the first and only example of a catholic man in her life. They eventually left the abusive father and her mother ended up marrying a Mormon man. He was the main influence in her life . She converted when she was 12 years old. She seems very open to Catholicism as that is where her roots are but I don’t know how open she would be to converting. Much of her understanding about God seems very Christian and when I ask about aspects of her mormon faith that don’t make sense she just says I don’t understand. She also says it’s not about the church you belong to or what religion you are but more about your love for God. When I told her that mormons are not considered to be Christians she didn’t understand why I said that. She also believes in the Immaculate Conception which I don’t think is consistent with Mormonism. She also said she wasn’t sure about the whole idea of men becoming gods of their own universes at the highest level of heaven. Much to talk about but it seems that Mormonism became her link to God because the mormons in her life were more loving godly people to her that the “Catholics” in her life.

Remember, dating does not have the purpose of untangling years of mixed up religious upbringing nor repairing family of origin dysfunction. Missionary dating is always a bad idea, and it sounds as if you are about to embark on such a quest. Dating seeks to build a foundation for discernment of marriage, and you need to discern if she is someone you can be married to AS IS. Not how you’d like her to be. Not how she might one day be. But as she IS. Because as you would like to be is how she may never be.

Do you want the mother of your children teaching them a jumbled up mish-mash of Mormon and Catholic teaching? Taking them to the Mormon temple? Possibly wanting to raise them in the Mormon faith?

Also please remember, as a baptized Catholic she is currently in a state of apostasy. Returning to the Catholic faith is not “converting”.

Certainly encourage her to explore her Catholic faith and witness to the truth, but not while dating. That puts pressure on the other to embrace the faith with the wrong motives, a fear of losing the one they’ve become attached to or a desire to please their significant other. Many times that sort of conversion does not last.

You need to go over how Jesus revealed God to us as a trinity of persons. Mormons do not worship God in spirit and in truth because they worship false gods, not the blessed trinity.

Frank Sheed’s books on theology are good on this point, as is Fulton Sheen’s “Life of Christ”. So is a book called “The Forgotten Trinity” by James White (Fr. Mitch Pacwa recommended it too so don’t get on my case about recommending a book by him).

Or you can try these blog posts (they’re not that spiritual like the others though):

edwardfeser.blogspot.ca/2009/06/trinity-sunday.html

edwardfeser.blogspot.ca/2010/02/trinity-and-mystery.html

edwardfeser.blogspot.ca/2010/02/trinity-and-mystery-part-ii.html

A book might help. Not sure which one would be best. But there are books that explain the errors of Mormonism and the validity of Catholicism as their main objective.

Is it true mormon religion is a cult? Based on false revelations to a man? With seriously misled teachings completely against the Catholic Church:
That they believe human beings become gods of their own planets, that God the Father used to be a man and became God of His own planet, that Jesus and satan are brothers? And other false teachings

I would pray about it.
Ask her about her faith and what she believes. Whether she is open to catholicism.

Pray to God and maybe be open to finding someone catholic?
Maybe God will convert her through you?

catholic.com/tracts/distinctive-beliefs-of-the-mormon-church

Invite her to go to mass with you , and join a catholic prayer group or course,
She may convert?

UOTE=stmk;12467061]Thank you all for your advice. A bit more information about this woman. She was born and raised Catholic by her biological parents and grandmother. Apparently her “Catholic” father became involved with a woman while still married to her mother. This woman apparently got him into drugs and satanism. He was also an alcoholic and very abusive to them. He was the first and only example of a catholic man in her life. They eventually left the abusive father and her mother ended up marrying a Mormon man. He was the main influence in her life . She converted when she was 12 years old. She seems very open to Catholicism as that is where her roots are but I don’t know how open she would be to converting. Much of her understanding about God seems very Christian and when I ask about aspects of her mormon faith that don’t make sense she just says I don’t understand. She also says it’s not about the church you belong to or what religion you are but more about your love for God. When I told her that mormons are not considered to be Christians she didn’t understand why I said that. She also believes in the Immaculate Conception which I don’t think is consistent with Mormonism. She also said she wasn’t sure about the whole idea of men becoming gods of their own universes at the highest level of heaven. Much to talk about but it seems that Mormonism became her link to God because the mormons in her life were more loving godly people to her that the “Catholics” in her life.

I am Mormon,

It seems that you have all heard about Mormons through a bunch of Mormon hating forums or through ex-Mormons who didn’t have a strong understanding of the doctrine to begin with. First thing to clarify, we ARE Christians, we believe in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. Yes, it is true that our beliefs don’t align perfectly with your mold, but it works out GREAT for me.

Now, to the issue at hand. It is true that most Mormon men and women would like a temple marriage. So if she tries to get you to take an interest in her beliefs, to understand it, and to try to apply them then its only proper. I assume you would want her to do the same for you. The key is to just be sincere. I bet that you will find more in common and hospitable for a loving relationship then anything that would deter. The biggest life application about being Mormon is just to do your very very best, to help as many people as possible, and to put God before everything else. In those few things I am sure you can agree.

Now you are an older gentleman, and this wonderful beautiful lady has fallen into your midst and everything is going great, but you are here trying to find something devious and evil about her. Why don’t you just find out what kind of person she is for yourself, no one here can tell you who exactly this lady is and what kind of person she is. As for her being Mormon, you have nothing to fear if she respects you after you having taken a sincere effort in trying to understand her religion, then its not likely she will wake up every morning asking if your ready to be baptized. Go to church with her a few times, get an idea of who Mormons are and what they believe for yourself away from all these forums, the internet can be great, but when its one religion talking about another on these forums its almost always negative, inaccurate, and very hateful.

You both are religious, you both believe in God, and you both seek to do good. As for a relationship, there is nothing more to question on this matter.

It’s a tad more than that…Your religion has many teachings and practices that are in direct opposition to the Catholic faith.

Your belief that one can become the god of another planet by being a good Mormon, the idea of being married for time and eternity in direct contradiction of Christ in the Gospels and quite a few others. Your doctrine on the Trinity is another problem and it does in fact necessitate that the Church not recognize Mormon baptism as valid. (Why doesn’t the Catholic Church accept Mormon baptism?)

So these two people need to sit down and have a serious talk about all this before they marry.

To your remark about Mormon haters…No one here hates you because you are Mormon, but we seriously disagree with many of the things that your religion teaches.

Here are some links to information that you might want to make yourself aware of before seeking to dialog with Catholics.

[LIST]
*]Problems with the Book of Mormon
*]Distinctive Beliefs of the Mormon Church
*]The Gods of the Mormon Church
*]Mormon Stumpers
*]Mormonism’s Baptism for the Dead
[/LIST]
Have a nice day. :slight_smile:

“Cult” is certainly a charged word. Steve Hassan, a leading expert on cults and mind control, has listed the LDS church in a database of mind control organizations on his website www.freedomofmind.com.

Joseph Smith was certainly a false prophet. I cannot say whether or not he actually had the visions he claimed to have. He was into the occult, so he could have had visions of a diabolical nature.

Joseph Smith was certainly against mainstream Christianity and Catholicism in particular. Mormons believe that the early Christian church went apostate after the death of the 12 Apostles and was restored through Joseph Smith. According to the “official” account of Smith’s first vision in LDS scripture, he asked Heavenly Father which church to join and described the response as follows:

[quote=Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith History 1:19]I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.”
[/quote]

LDS prophets and apostles have taught that Heavenly Father was once a mortal man and progressed to godhood, had his own spirit children and created a planet (or planets) for those spirit children to receive physical bodies. Mormons believe that all people are spirit brothers and sisters. They also believe that the third of the host of heaven that were cast out with Lucifer are also our spirit brothers and sisters. They believe that Jesus is our spirit brother and that he was the first born spirit child of Heavenly Father. They also have taught that we can be exalted and become like our Heavenly Father with the ability to have spirit children and create planets for them to receive spirit bodies, etc. The LDS church is trying to move away from this teaching. They posted an essay to their website on the topic. lds.org/topics/becoming-like-god?lang=eng

Mixed-faith marriages can be difficult. If you continue with a relationship with her, you must accept her the way she is and not expect her to change her faith. The same goes for her with respect to you. You cannot go into a marriage expecting to change her. It won’t work.

As part of the discernment process, you need to consider how faith will work in your theoretical family, especially when children come into the scene. That is when mixed faith marriages get particularly difficult.

You must not know very many ex-Mormons then. Ex-Mormons actually have a very good understanding of the history of the LDS church and what it teaches. That is why we are ex-Mormons. And, no, we didn’t get the information from “anti-Mormon” sources, unless you consider LDS prophets and apostles and your own church to be “anti-Mormon”.

Again, Thank you all for your input. If you asked me 5 months ago if, as a practicing Catholic man, I would ever consider dating a Mormon woman, I would have said “probably not”. If I knew 5 months ago what I know now about the Mormon faith and you asked the question I think I would say “definitely not”. We are almost 4 weeks in to this relationship. She is already saying things like “I think God brought you to me”. I had been praying for guidance and direction. Just praying that I know what God’s will for me is as a single older man. Single, married, the priesthood? Then this prayerful woman falls into my life out of nowhere. She says she already knows how she feels about me. She has already told me that she loves me which was a bit off putting after only 4 weeks of dating. She just says that she knows I am the man for her. Part of me thinks that this is the woman God has put in my life and the other thinks that this is the last woman I should be getting involved with all things considered (I work directly with her, she’s Mormon, she’s already telling me she loves me and that I am a better man than any other man she has ever been with). I think it may be time to slow things down and maybe even step away from this relationship for a time. Just difficult now because we still work together every day at least for the next couple months. And part of me thinks she sees me so much different than any other man she has ever been with because I have spent the last 10+ years of my life learning about my Catholic faith and trying to live it. Maybe she is the first one that is recognizing the man I am because of this. And that makes her attractive on a different level than any other woman I’ve been with BEFORE I got back to practicing my faith.

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