Getting involved with a Mormon girl, concerns

Does she have any interest in going to mass with you at least once?

you are responding to all of this in a very mature way, God bless you for that.

based on what you described in this last post, I think I would tend to agree, that this is moving way too fast and needs to slow down.

I’m saying a prayer for you

What do you mean…“scared”?
What scares you?


I do agree with angell1 that you need to slow things down. Mormons typically have short courtships and get married rather quickly. It is fairly common for Mormons to meet, start dating, get engaged 3 months later and get married 3 months after that. I even know Mormon couples who got engaged after knowing each other 2 weeks. Dating for 1 year prior to engagement is a long time for Mormons. Don’t let her push you to marriage too quickly.

I was LDS when I married my Catholic Husband, and while miracles DO happen, the burden of the difference of faiths was a LOT.

From someone that has been there, done that, I would advise against pursuing the relationship unless she is willing to truly look into Catholicism. Her being devoutly LDS will eventually drive ya’ll apart and you will have a marriage that will never be “good enough” in her eyes. In the eyes of the LDS church, your marriage will not have the necessary permanence to allow either of you to obtain the highest level of heaven and that will trouble her more and more as your marriage progresses.
I have seen many part-member families like that and the husband is not seen as the spiritual authority in the home, even if you are a devout Catholic. It emasculates the husband and is a huge blow to the respect, love, and partnership that a good marriage needs.

jstnwalt, what are the words used in the Mormon Baptismal Rite?

While I believe it is possible for people to fall in love very quickly, it’s certainly not common to truly LOVE a person after just a few weeks, and this quick of a statement would concern me too. Maybe she has some issues that cause her to attach too quickly. If that’s not true, and if this really is meant to be, and from God, it won’t be necessary to rush, so for sure tread lightly.

Totally believable that God has a plan for the two of you. But perhaps as friends instead. In my opinion, it is best to avoid dating people of different faiths altogether, but it is a great idea to befriend people of other faiths, and in particular, if they are interested in Catholicism, to help them learn more about it. Now that you already have started dating, I don’t know if you and she are “in too deep” to back off and have more of a friendship right now, but I think it is worth considering. Have you been totally honest with her about the importance of your faith, and in particular how that affects marriage and family life? Someone who is open to God’s Plan should respect your need to pull back.

Mormons baptize in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, but when they use these names, they mean something entirely different than what we do as Christians. They believe in the Trinity. Among other things, the believe that the Father has a physical body of flesh and bone and that He is the literal father of our spirits (there is also a heavenly mother involved). Mormon baptism is not recognized by the Catholic Church as a valid Christian baptism.

The Vatican has determined that Mormon baptism is invalid. Mormons are not Christian, and lack orthodox belief in the Trinity. Trinitarian baptism makes one a member of the a Christia communion.

But it is important to note that the OP’s friend is indeed validly baptized, a Catholic.

This is a reason to pull the emergency brake. Sounds like she may have a lot of things from her family of origin to resolve, and latching on to an older man who can fill a number of roles and give stability to her life is not the way to do that. It will only temporarily make those insecurities and unresolved issues recede.

God doesn’t work that way, typically. We have free will. We choose. We like to rationalize our decisions, or shift responsibilty for them, by saying God did this or that… We want to ignore our instincts and what is staring us in the face (dysfunctional childhood, mixed up religion, moving way too fast, and involvement with a younger woman and coworker) by assigning cosmic significance to it (…“but all these warnings MUST be wrong, I got an"sign”). Consider that all the warnings ARE the sign.

Ding ding ding… We have a real sign this isn’t the right time or woman to get into a relationship with.

You are now a bit older and wiser for the experience. It will be difficult, I’m sure, but it is best to put some space between you and religion isn’t even the top reason.

Again, thanks for all the input. Just to clarify, she is only 3 years younger than I am. It seems some were under the impression that she’s much younger than me. Any additional input is greatly appreciated.

I did get that impression. But, even knowing she is only 3 years younger, it doesn’t really change my advice or thoughts on the matter.

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