Ok, this is isn’t a full on vent. My vents usually take the forms of rants and (:bigyikes: ) trolling. But I have some thoughts that I need to share, some of them negative, about how the older generation (Boomers, this means you!) and how it deals with the younger generation, in regards to marriage and issues of sexual purity.
First of all, I think that Boomers sometimes do not realize the very difficult state that many people in my generation are facing, in regards to these issues. People in my generation grew up in an incredibly sexually saturated society. The sexual revolution of the 1960’s is now the acien regime, so we no longer have the social expectation of remaining virgins until marriage. One of my friends was telling me how shortly after she got her first boyfriend, her mother took her to the gynecologist for a Pap smear and a prescription for Birth Control Pills. As if this wasn’t enough, my generation is waiting longer for marriage than previous generations. A 12 year old American boy who wants to remain a virgin until marriage, can expect to abstain from sex for 15 years on average, during the years when his sex drive is at his peak. A 12 year old girl will wait almost as long, 14 years on average. The average age of marriage for women is now about 26, which means by the time she marries, her fertility is already beginning to decline. It’s almost as though set up to fail.
In addition, I think that the advice that older people give sometimes represents a skewed view of marriage. I remember someone offering consolation to single people by saying that a single person can go backpacking around Europe. I wondered if this person would console an infertile couple with this platitude. When I heard this comment, I thought that it represented a skewed philosophy. The comment seemed to imply that life is about traveling and money. “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Now, I expect this kind of philosophy from the world, where material comfort is the only purpose of living, but I worry that many people in the church have absorbed this mentality. They may give these kinds of platitudes meaning comfort, but they are also expressing values of personal comfort over personal sacrifice. Venerable Zelie Martin, the mother of St. Therese, wanted her children to remain single, but not to become rich and tour the world in style, but so that they could serve God.
I’m not really looking for pity, what I’m looking for are people in the older generation who look at this situation and recognize that something is seriously wrong, and are willing to do their part to changing it. I’m also not saying that my generation is blameless, we are certainly far from that. But I kept thinking about these issues, and I just wanted to express my ideas. I’m sure I’m not the first person to say something like this, I just wanted to add my voice to the mix.
Ok. That’s all for now. Thanks.