Getting married young


#1

My daughter is working on a term paper for a college theology course (St. Louis University, a Jesuit school). She has decided to present the paper on the subject “Young Marriage Can Last.”

Her thesis is that chronological age is not as important as understanding and accepting the sacramental nature of marriage. She wants to prove that couples who marry young CAN have a strong, lasting marriage.

(She’s not a Catholic, BTW.)

My husband and I are supporters of young marriage (marrying young as opposed to waiting until you are through college and working). We married when we were 21 years old, and have been married for 27 years.

I realize that many of you don’t support this concept. That’s OK.

We only have one online source to give our daughter for her paper. It’s by a Catholic and it’s excellent. Most people nowadays are not writing about young marriage; instead, they’re urging couples to wait until at least age 25-30 to marry.

Does anyone else have links to other sources supporting young marriage that she could use for her term paper?

Don’t worry about listing links to sites that oppose young marriage. There’s plenty of literature out there presenting this viewpoint. It’s the pro Young Marriage viewpoint that she’s interested in for her paper.

THANKS!


#2

Hi, I don’t have any specific sources, besides myself…and, although I married very young, I haven’t been married long enough to really prove anything about the duration of young marriages (of course I hope to be :wink: )

But I did want to suggest that she try to find some anthropological or psychology studies about monogamy and marriage. I took an anthropology class about marriage and human sexuality, and we talked quite a bit about what makes young marriages fail or succeed. There was a specific study proving that the issue of whether or not the couple had intercourse with people other than each other had a much larger impact on the outcome of their marriage than did their age at the time of the wedding. Perhaps she could contact the anthropology or psychology dep’t at her school?


#3

I would strongly recommend checking out the writings of Sam and Bethany Torode. They are protestant writers (but they support NFP, yahoo!) and some of their work can be found on Boundless Webzine, a Christian web-magazine for young adults (www.boundless.org.) The Torodes got married when they were 19. If your daughter types in “marriage” in the search box on the Boundless website, tons of articles on the subject of marrying young should come up. I think I’ve read them all myself and also strongly support marrying young. My fiance and I just turned 23, and we’re marrying in January. I hope this helps!

Kristie


#4

What’s the legal age of marrying someone, is it 18 in the United States? Or is there even a limit? Might depend on State? I’m curious, thanks.


#5

I think getting married young is great. It channels your sexual drive in the proper direction when it is at it’s peak. Waiting is either a frustrating struggle, or a breeding ground for sexual sin for most people.


#6

Its different for all people, but my opinion is generally getting married young and not “sowing the wild oats” per se, can lead young people in marriage to wonder if they missed out on something. Just my 2 cents


#7

I think getting married young is great. It channels your sexual drive in the proper direction when it is at it’s peak. Waiting is either a frustrating struggle, or a breeding ground for sexual sin for most people.

ITA!!! My husband and I met during college and did the “sensible and responsible” thing by waiting till we were done with our college and graduate studies before marrying. :frowning: It was hard staying chaste when you are with the love of your life, and we failed in that regard, and I shudder to think of how many more children we could have had by now had we just gotten married! Also, being married would have encouraged to live our faith more fully, which would have eliminated our drinking and such! IMNSHO, unless you are ready to get married within months, you should not date at all. JMO. :slight_smile:


#8

Unfortunately, society leads people to have midlife crisises with false promises of greener grass, and people throw away their wives or husbands for new models, wrecking their homes and destroying their kids’ lives. But, by your post you are implying that young people have a need to fornicate without commitment in order to later have healthy marriages.

How about, instead, for society start preparing young people for marriage better, instead of coddling them with material goods, handing out condoms for free sex, and encouraging young ladies to give away their sexual favors freely.


#9

Interesting thought…:hmmm:


#10

A very interesting thought. I mean, it sounds nice theoretically and all… but I don’t think that God only sounds future spouses into our lives when we are “looking” for one or otherwise immediately ready to commit to marriage.

Sometimes there’s a different plan… a relationship starts, and the couple grows together, learns from each other, and becomes closer to God at the same time. They should always be open to marriage as soon as God might allow, but I guess that is all part of the discernment process, IMO.

I’m in no way advocating really young dating (under… 17, I’d say, is pushing it for a serious relationship… and really, no one should be in a relationship if it’s not a “serious,” marriage-minded one.) This is just what my experience has been…


#11

Thanks for expounding upon that thought. I appreciate your insight!


#12

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