I am a happily married man with a large family. I met a nice young lady through some volunteer work. She is a fellow parishioner. She asked me to take on some projects, which I did. I worked hard at them and we had some successes. One of the projects was quite involved and lasted over a year. I made a lot of personal sacrifices for this project. We worked together on it, and I thought she had become my friend. Not a close friend because I will only have my wife as a close female friend, but a friend. A friend like the friends I have at work. We got a lot of stuff done and I enjoyed working with her.
When the project ended, she began to give me the cold shoulder. Shortly before it ended she backed out of it without explanation. I invited her to have dessert with my family and she looked very uncomfortable that I asked this. She declined with a lame excuse. She won’t say “Hi” back if we run into each other after Mass and I say “hello”, and acts as if she dislikes me. It’s very confusing to me, and I have no idea why she’s doing this. At any rate, since she seems to have developed a dislike for me and is uncomfortable I resolved not to try to initiate a conversation if we run into each other. But on Sunday I ran into her again, and without thinking I gave her a wave. I’m a personable guy and I wave and say hi whenever I run into someone I know. I got a scowl back, without her even making eye contact. I said a prayer for her in my heart and went on my way.
Now I realize not everyone is going to be my friend, and no one owes me anything. If that’s the way she’s going to be that’s her prerogative and I don’t want to be friends with anyone who doesn’t want to be friends with me. But it still hurts my feelings a bit, and I feel a bit used for having worked hard on a couple of projects that she asked me to work on where she acted friendly when she wanted something.
Why do people do this? Is it because I’m a married man and she’s a single female? Because I’m older? Or is it just that ultimately it doesn’t make sense so I should just forget it? Other people don’t do this to me, and I didn’t do anything different with her than I do with anyone else, with the exception of working on an important project with her. What are your thoughts?