I am a bit loathe to ask for relationship advice online, but I am hoping to get some relatively unbiased advice. Currently, I am in a relationship with a woman and have been dating her exclusively for 3 years. I'm saving for her engagement ring (she knows) and we are hoping to be engaged in May.
One of my gf's male friends (who is an ex of hers) is getting married. They have been friends for many years and she plans to go to this can't-miss-event in her home town of Massachusetts right after New Years. She is in her hometown right now at her parent's place (she's there for two weeks for the holidays) and I'm currently at home in Virginia. She begged me to go with her as her date, but I couldn't go due to work and money.
Before she left, she told me she wanted to bring another friend of hers as her guest since I couldn't go. This fellow is also an old friend of hers and is an ex as well. He is married. He initially agreed to go, but begged off later because "weddings aren't his thing".
She feels that she needs to bring a guest because she has no ride to this wedding, and because "it's fun". So since she lost her guest, she decided to ask another male friend of hers who was a previous crush before she dated me. This guy, who I'll call Tony, rejected her previously but still maintained the friendship from afar. He went on a Mormon mission for a few years and recently came back to the US and moved back to Massachusetts.
She called me yesterday and informed me she asked Tony to be her guest for the wedding. I told her I did not approve with her taking a single guy as her date for the wedding. I felt that it was inappropriate since we were in a serious relationship, and that going with a single guy to a romantic event like a wedding is playing with fire. *Especially *since he was a former crush of hers. She got mad and told me that I was being uptight and that her and Tony are just friends. I told her that she had no reason to take any date at all, since she knows many people at this wedding and there is no reason she can't have fun with her friends and acquaintances. I told her that in her situation, I would not take a date at all.
I did not forbid her to go with Tony (I'm not her dad) but I told her that I would be upset if she went with him. She tried to change the conversation but I redirected it later and she told me she would not take any date to the wedding. Right now she has no ride to the wedding, and I'm not sure how she will get there. Her old friends who will be at that wedding live pretty far from her.
Do you guys think I am being unreasonable in not wanting her to go out with Tony? Should unmarried people involved in a serious relationship take an opposite sex guest to a wedding that their partner can't attend? Does it matter if the guest is married or not? I seriously don't think I'm out of line here, but feel free to take me to task if you disagree. If she goes with Tony after telling me she wouldn't, I'm not sure what will happen with our relationship. I hope it doesn't deteriorate that far.