Girl advice needed


#1

Every time I like a guy, he’s all I think about, which creates a problem because I start forgetting about God.It frustrates me because I don’t always want to even like anyone, but I just do, like its out of my control. What should I do? How can I control my feelings for guys instead of them controlling me?


#2

Forgive me if I say that you sound very young here.

This is just part of life and growing up, dear soul.

Why would you not want to like any particular boy? Isn’t this what God intends for most women and girls?


#3

How cute. :slight_smile:

Seriously, I’m the exact same way - only it’s with girls. I find that my mind will invariably drift towards whomever if I’m not vigilant. It can get a bit scary and lonesome, especially since I have a very active imagination which dreams up all sorts of scenarios, such as romantic picnics, long, late-night conversations, etc.

It sounds like you might have a bit of an obsessive personality. What I find to be helpful is to try to divert my attention to some saint, typically of the opposite sex, so that rather than thinking empty thoughts about a romantic interest, I’m actually thinking about someone who lived their life for God.


#4

I know that when a guy is interested in me I ask him to go to Saturday night mass with me and then afterward we can go out to dinner and a movie. I think it is good to start the date going to mass. It is also a way for me to test a guy to see if he is the kind of guy who would welcome going to mass with me.

We as girls/women need to make sure that any guy we are interested in is going to be someone who we can respect and trust. We are giving our heart to someone and I learned the hard way that if we give our heart without making the guy prove he is worthy of our trust that it can lead to disaster.

I know I sound old fashion.


#5

If I understand the OP correctly, it’s not just simply liking a boy that’s the problem, it’s simply the fact that she can’t help but think about him ALL THE TIME, probably to the point of lovesickness, which is affecting her spiritually and emotionally…maybe even physically.


#6

It’s fine to crush on a guy! And yes, he will be all you think about if he’s that special. But you must draw the line when you know thoughts of him are leading you away from thoughts of God. God should be your everything! I suggest to go with what Epistemes and Chrisy58 are saying…they are great ideas about putting the two together (Love of a boy and Love of Christ!) They should walk hand-in-hand!!

Hope we are helping!! :slight_smile:

In Him,


#7

Thanks, you are helping. I think I’ll try the advice about finding a saint to divert my attention. What Epistemes said is right. I do have a bit of an obsessive personality…


#8

Maybe you could enter a convent and focus your love on God alone and no man, if that is what your true calling is. If you feel called to marriage, then let these love experiences make you rejoice in love and in joy (in God Himself). Love is God-given and bubbling with life - being love-stricken shouldn’t be pulling you away from its Primary Source - it should be drawing you to appreciate Him (Love) even more. Maybe you are called to be a religious - maybe that is why you are bothered by these love experiences. Or maybe you are just afraid these feelings you have are unwholesome and feel you are not called to love so fully and compassionately. Why wouldn’t God will that you love someone so wonderfully if they are so good and if it is lawful to love them? Why would loving them separate you from the love of God? Unless you are called to the religious life or to the single life these experiences should be pure joy to experience and a perfect means to draw closer to God and to develop a more perfect #1 relationship with Him…who is your baptismal spouse. When you feel head over heels for a man, tell God about it and ask Him to let you love Him with as much exuberance. All the love you experience in all your relationships should point you in the direction of God and and help you grow into a more perfect spouse of His. Eventually you’ll either marry one of these men or God Himself self as a bride at the altar!


#9

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