Girl trouble


#21

[quote="CatholicGuy22, post:17, topic:236413"]
Thanks for the advice but at the time i got close to her I was not a seminarian! I was still waiting for an answer to my application. This problem will never go away! Many priest go through this there whole life, of course they will never let it get out of control like i did but Girls are still an issue.

[/quote]

While you were not a seminarian yet you were still a candidate. You were in the middle of the application process. You really should not have put yourself and this young woman in this situation. If you were applying you should have been upfront with her about it.

As puzzleanne said, I am sure you have taken this to your spiritual director.


#22

[quote="CatholicGuy22, post:1, topic:236413"]

Well anyway now she knows my desires for the priesthood and has been avoiding me like the plauge since then. I feel terrible! Its almost like i told i was a serial killer or something. Is she handling this well?

[/quote]

Perhaps she is handling it as well as she can. If she likes you, but knows that you want to become a priest then she perhaps does not want to "get in your way" of you doing so if it is God's will. Avoiding you like plague might be the best she is capable of in this situation, so don't judge her. She too is making a sacrifice in this case. On the other hand, I do not see her heart and am really just guessing. Unless you have discerned that the priesthood is not for you, it would perhaps be better for you not to contact her given your mutual feelings. This is both for your sake and for hers.


#23

[quote="ByzCath, post:21, topic:236413"]
While you were not a seminarian yet you were still a candidate. You were in the middle of the application process. You really should not have put yourself and this young woman in this situation. If you were applying you should have been upfront with her about it.

As puzzleanne said, I am sure you have taken this to your spiritual director.

[/quote]

Very true Brother David. I did bring this upon my self. I should've told her and thats why i feel terrible right now. But i hope God will bring something good out of this.


#24

First off, I have a similar problem. However, I have not made any committments to any ONE Seminary. Now, the girl I am attracted to already has a boyfriend. She knows my feelings for her. And I am situated next to her in one of my classes.

It seems that once she knew my discernment to the Priesthood, she got even CLOSER to me, which is odd. Worse is that she feels compelled to tell me about her impurity, hoping I can help her with it. She is a Roman Catholic, though not practising.

I, however, am the one who has been avoiding her, not because I don't like her (in that way) but because I do like her (in that way). If you believe that she is an obstacle to your vocation, or spiritually bad for you, cut the relationship. If you believe it can bare fruit then allow it to prosper.

I realized my own cross was unneccessary and, as stoicly as possible, set to avoiding her until the time comes when I am forgotten. Which I estimate will be soon as school concludes toward the start of June.

Pray for me, as I pray for you.

Pius :knight1:


#25

I just wanted to make this absolutely clear: After my old friend told me of his imminent entrance into the seminary I would have NEVER in a million years attempted to make any further contact with him whatsoever; in fact, if I had blundered into a church where he was offering Mass, I would have feigned sudden illness and left! It was his very gracious gesture of sending me an invitation to his ordination Mass that sparked the thought of putting the friendship in context. At that time I had no further romantic interest in him (in fact, I had no romantic interest in anyone whatsoever, as my career was really taking off at the time and I had a genuine shot at being a principal dancer, that is as close to as time consuming a vocation as anything secular that I know of!) And I was very ambivalent about accepting the invitation. My aunt talked me into it, telling me I would want to see him launch his new path in life. And, chickenhearted that I can be, I dragged my aunt along with me (since it was her idea I should go in the first place!) I still felt peculiar about it, and after the Mass, at the reception, he sought me out and started asking me about my current life.

There has never been any mention through the years of our former fledgling relationship on either of our parts. If he were to bring it up, I would say something like, "Let's just chalk that up to a full moon," or something like that, and let it go. We are both now late in our middle years, and far too intelligent to let something like old feelings cloud our judgment and reason. I don't consider him an old flame, and I sincerely hope he doesn't think in that way about me! Nor would I ever, in a million years, utilize him as a spiritual advisor, although he would be a good resource if I were ever to ask his advice about finding someone else to fill that role. I would simply not feel comfortable with him in that sort of role in my life, although I felt perfectly comfortable when he officiated at my wedding and a few years ago, at Dad's funeral Mass. We are simply good old friends, that is all. We exchange occasional phone calls and chatty letters, and I look him up when I'm in New York and visiting other old friends.

Also, please realize that this experience has been distilled through a few decades. At the time it felt bizarre, totally inappropriate, and preposterous. For a few hours I was convinced I was going to go to hell for dating someone who was discerning, as innocent as the dating was. And I avoided him like the plague until he did enter seminary and was out of my circle of friends. I truly expected to never hear from or about him again.


#26

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