I have a question that I would very much appreciate some feedback on. My situation is as follows: I have been courting the love of my life for well over a year now. We are seriously committed and are moving forward in the process of discerning potential marriage in the near future. My girlfriend is a wonderful woman whom I love very much and has never given me any reason to doubt her love for me. Recently, an issue came to my attention that I am having a difficult time with. My girlfriend has several ex-boyfriends that she feel it necessary to stay in contact with on an occassional basis. Communication is usually by phone (sometimes about our relationship), but there have been instances that she has socialized with them among mutual friends. These ex-boyfriends are people that she had pre-marital relations with (we are now in a chaste relationship) and are not practicing catholics (or any other type of christian). In the past I have been very sensitive to her feelings about my communications with my ex-girlfriends (meaning I do not communicate with them), and have gone out of my way to ever put myself in a compromising situation out of respect for her and her feelings. It seems though that when the shoe is on the other foot these ideals do not apply to her. When she acts out this double standard it makes me feel like she lacks some level of respect for my feelings in this regard.
I have a very hard time visualizing us in the future living in marital bliss only to have one of her former sexual partners call our home to “chat with her about old times”. My question, after all this explanation, is:
Am I being oversensitive, silly, and unrealistic, or should this be a red flag to me about the future of our relationship?
Thanks so much in advance for any feedback and objective advice you can provide.