Girls parents don't like my clothes


#1

I'm sorta seeing this girl right now, its nothing super serious, we just hang around her house with her family which is all right with me. She has a very strong faith as do her parents (I just recently came back to the Church:) ) But the thing is I have always been a pretty stylish dresser, that said I'm still modest and I don't spend a lot of money on clothes, but her parents don't seem to like the way I dress, Last Sunday for example I wore a liliac shirt and grey dress pants and grey tie to Mass, afterwards at the house her dad give a fifteen minute speech to me about how my clothes are to tailored and how liliac is a girls color. I just don't think this is fair! My lady friend has always liked the way I dress. Why do her parents even feel this way?


#2

Last Sunday for example I wore a liliac shirt and grey dress pants and grey tie to Mass, afterwards at the house her dad give a fifteen minute speech to me about how my clothes are to tailored and how liliac is a girls color.

There is no such thing as clothes being "too tailored". It is a sign of good taste to wear tailored clothes.

I don't see how anyone could think liliac is a girls colour. No one could object sensibly to someone wearing a liliac shirt -- although a bright liliac suit would look odd; there is nothing wrong with colourful shirts.

Next time; ask him what he is basing "girliness" of colors on...


#3

While you may think you look good in lilac it is a feminine color. I've known guys who looked STUNNING in salmon pink. But, alas, many people think that pinks and purples belong to girls...and in this world where it's harder and harder to find feminine clothes I don't think that guys should be seeking out colors that for the past 200 years have belonged to girls.

Now, if by "too taylored" the dad was being jelous then that's bad. If by "too taylored" he means he can see your bodily organs than he was completely in the right. If by "too taylored" he meant "fake" then watch your step and do things that let him know you're a real guy and not some dressed-up pansy gq model that is trying to attract his little girl.


#4

Do her parents have any grown sons? Maybe they're just not aware of current fashions for men? Does her family tend to avoid "stylish" clothes? Sometimes it can seem intimidating to those who aren't as "adventurous"... for some men it's just a confidence issue.
Be patient with them, they're probably just nervous for their daughter to have such a good lookin' beau... ;) Stay humble and patient with them and you're personality will shine over any differences in style opinion... :)


#5

First of all, kudos for wearing a tie at all. Most guys I know wear polos if they wear anything tucked in at all.

In my own opinion, I think this thing with guys wearing pink, purple, and other fairly feminine colors is not necessarily a good thing. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with a guy wearing pink, but pink and grey is a pretty feminine combo, so I would take issue with that. I don’t know what was meant about how your clothes were tailored, but I’d like to know what style of shirt and pants you wear.

Also, there’s a big difference between stylish as in appropriate, well matched colors and cuts, and stylish as in, loud and attention grabbing. Pink and grey strikes me as being a pretty loud combo, that doesn’t fit too well with a Mass. Something like a grey suit, white/light blue/light green shirt, and colored or grey tie would be much less attention grabbing, and more appropriate in the situation of Sunday Mass.

I’m no style expert or anything. Just my 2 sense. :wink:

A lot of current men’s fashions are nothing to be proud of. Catholics should not follow the latest fashions as if they are guidelines to what is appropriate. There are a lot of good masculine colors and styles for men to wear to Mass that are just as fashionable today as they were 70 years ago.


#6

How old are you? How old is she? A little more detail would be helpful in understanding the situation.

It seems-- just from what you've said-- her parents are a bit controlling, and don't have much respect or boundaries where you are concerened. If you and she are over 18, I'd say this is a big problem.

As to why her parents feel that way-- who knows? We certainly don't. Have you asked them?


#7

[quote="willis88, post:1, topic:208638"]
I'm sorta seeing this girl right now, its nothing super serious, we just hang around her house with her family which is all right with me. She has a very strong faith as do her parents (I just recently came back to the Church:) ) But the thing is I have always been a pretty stylish dresser, that said I'm still modest and I don't spend a lot of money on clothes, but her parents don't seem to like the way I dress, Last Sunday for example I wore a liliac shirt and grey dress pants and grey tie to Mass, afterwards at the house her dad give a fifteen minute speech to me about how my clothes are to tailored and how liliac is a girls color. I just don't think this is fair! My lady friend has always liked the way I dress. Why do her parents even feel this way?

[/quote]

It would be interesting to know what her parents wore to mass...It is hard to imagine a parent saying someone's clothes are too tailored. Perhaps he meant too dressed up? In which case, that is not your problem it is his, though I would suggest just ignoring it and not responding.

As far as the color of your shirt, I wouldn't listen to anyone that tells you that there are "girl" colors for shirts.(Pants, yes! No lilac pants please! :blush: ) In the world of men's dress shirts, I have seen almost every color there is available. It's your choice.

Still, I don't know how old you are, how strong you are or if it is even worth getting into an "discussion" all the time about it with her father. My advice is to avoid the lilac shirt for mass/or at his house. Simple as that. :thumbsup:


#8

From the information you've given, I would say the father was rude. He overstepped his boundaries. Your choice of clothes from what you described would appear to me to be very stylish and appropriate. The father was out of line and like one poster already mentioned, it could be a warning to you if you continue to pursue this relationship.


#9

[quote="willis88, post:1, topic:208638"]
Last Sunday for example I wore a liliac shirt and grey dress pants and grey tie to Mass, afterwards at the house her dad give a fifteen minute speech to me about how my clothes are to tailored and how liliac is a girls color.

[/quote]

By "too tailored" does he mean "too tight"? Or did you mean to say "her dad give a fifteen minute speech to me about how my clothes are to be tailored" meaning that you had untailored and sloppy clothing (like too baggy)?

Maybe a picture from the neck down would be helpful.


#10

If lilac, pink, etc. are feminine colors that guys should not wear, then does this mean women should not be wearing navy, black, brown, etc. because they are "masculine"?

Why do men's swim shorts have flowers all over them?


#11

[quote="Alexander_Smith, post:5, topic:208638"]

A lot of current men's fashions are nothing to be proud of. Catholics should not follow the latest fashions as if they are guidelines to what is appropriate. There are a lot of good masculine colors and styles for men to wear to Mass that are just as fashionable today as they were 70 years ago.

[/quote]

:eek: Only if you're willing to look like Grandpa with his trousers pulled up to his armpits. :D


#12

This matter really has nothing at all to do with clothes. The girl's father doesn't like you because you are not good enough for his daughter.

Don't worry. It is very common for young men to not be good enough for a certain young woman.

Fathers desire to protect their daughters, and rightly so.

If you select a different girl, perhaps of a lesser social class, who has a less choosy father, then things will go easier for you.

Good Luck!


#13

[quote="Magickman, post:12, topic:208638"]
This matter really has nothing at all to do with clothes. The girl's father doesn't like you because you are not good enough for his daughter.

Don't worry. It is very common for young men to not be good enough for a certain young woman.

Fathers desire to protect their daughters, and rightly so.

If you select a different girl, perhaps of a lesser social class, who has a less choosy father, then things will go easier for you.

Good Luck!

[/quote]

Interesting that you assume the girl's father is from a high social class, when I thought just the opposite.


#14

[quote="willis88, post:1, topic:208638"]
My lady friend has always liked the way I dress.

[/quote]

Then continue to be a happy, snazzy dresser! :D

My husband is a well-dressed man, as well, and he has one lilac and one pink shirt in his closet now (nearly all of his shirts are Charles Tyrwhitt). This is his lilac one:

http://ct.liquifire.nl/ctshirts?source=url%5Bhttp://www.ctshirts.co.uk/ProImages/FC038LLC_a.tif%5D,name%5Bprod%5D&scale=size%5B1048x1048%5D&addprofile=url%5Bfile:profiles/sRGB.icc%5D,if%5B(%27image.colorspace%27%20ne%20%27RGB%27)%5D&removeprofile&blank=width%5Bprod.width%5D,height%5Bprod.height%5D,color%5Bblack%5D,name%5Balpha%5D&select=image%5Bprod%5D&composite=compose%5Breplacematte%5D,image%5Balpha%5D&scale=size%5B278%5D&sink=format%5Bjpg%5D,quality%5B80%5D&nocache

He receives countless compliments whenever he wears it, except from my family, who think it's weird for men to wear pink or purple. I used to think the same way, but I've learned that if you look good in a color, then by all means, wear it!


#15

[quote="Magickman, post:12, topic:208638"]
This matter really has nothing at all to do with clothes. The girl's father doesn't like you because you are not good enough for his daughter.

Don't worry. It is very common for young men to not be good enough for a certain young woman.

Fathers desire to protect their daughters, and rightly so.

If you select a different girl, perhaps of a lesser social class, who has a less choosy father, then things will go easier for you.

Good Luck!

[/quote]

By any chance, are you from India?


#16

I think the combination you describe is very nice! And kudos for wearing a tie as well!

As for the idea that certain colors, styles or fabrics are for men alone or women....the men of past centuries have worn lace, satin, brocade, velvet, pink, purple (considered to be a royal color) and on and on. It is not a question of colors being manly or feminine...it is a question of the style of the times. And if you subscribe to GQ or any mens' fashion magazine or watch any Hollywood red carpet affair, you will see a LOT of men who are very masculine wear pink and lavender. The lead broadcast man on the Today Show (Matt Lauer) and the weatherman (Al Roker) frequently wear pink or lilac colored dress shirts and ties. So does the Channel 4 Columbus weatherman does, too. I don't think any of those men are feminine....they are stylish and handsome!

How do the posters here feel about the Pope who wears brocade and satins? And Pope JP2 wore red shoes!

My husband has a charcoal grey pinstripe suit that looks very, very nice with a pale pink shirt and a black tie. He is far from "feminine"...he rides Harleys and owns a machine shop. haha

I do not understand the "tailored" comment. I do wonder if he (the father) meant "tight"....

I think he is having a difficult time dealing with his daughter being old enough to be with boys (men). Some fathers just want their "little girls" to remain little girls forever. The idea that one poster here had to date someone of a different "class" is absurd. And mean. :(


#17

[quote="Em_in_FL, post:11, topic:208638"]
:eek: Only if you're willing to look like Grandpa with his trousers pulled up to his armpits. :D

[/quote]

Nah, I don't look like that. :P

I typically wear a dark charcoal suit, white shirt, and a red, blue, or gold tie with a matching pocket square.


#18

It sounds to me as if her dad might be old-fashioned, with very rigid ideas as to what constitutes "masculine" and "feminine". It reminds me of the "olden days" when my husband's uncle used to get on him unmercifully because of his long-ish hair (in the 70s).

The grey/lilac combination sounds wonderful to me; my dh is a TV news anchor, and he has several shirts in pink or lilac, worn with coordinating ties and grey, blue, or charcoal suits; believe me, he always looks sharp and not feminine in the slightest! In fact, he just walked into the kitchen en route to work...wearing a terrific pink tie!

Good for you for wearing a tie and nice clothes to Mass! Sounds as if you might know more about appropriate dress then her dad. ;) (I'm confused about the "too tailored" thing, though...can't imagine what he means).


#19

[quote="willis88, post:1, topic:208638"]
I'm sorta seeing this girl right now, its nothing super serious, we just hang around her house with her family which is all right with me. She has a very strong faith as do her parents (I just recently came back to the Church:) ) But the thing is I have always been a pretty stylish dresser, that said I'm still modest and I don't spend a lot of money on clothes, but her parents don't seem to like the way I dress, Last Sunday for example I wore a liliac shirt and grey dress pants and grey tie to Mass, afterwards at the house her dad give a fifteen minute speech to me about how my clothes are to tailored and how liliac is a girls color. I just don't think this is fair! My lady friend has always liked the way I dress. Why do her parents even feel this way?

[/quote]

The fashionable trend towards androgyny (including in dress) is often in conflict with traditional views of masculinity.

I would suggest wearing darker more conservative colors, particularly going to Mass with her family.


#20

I think in general mens fashions these days are leaning towards more feminine styles, rather than emphasizing a man's, manly attributes. V necks, slim jeans, tie shirt and pants without a suit jacket, longer hair.

I find it irritating that most of the people here are assuming the father is doing something wrong, or is "old fashioned" in a bad way, or is jealous, or whatever. We don't know much about the situation, so it would be best to reserve judgement on the people involved, and instead focus on the given information, which basically amounts to a guy wearing a lilac shirt, grey tie and pants for Sunday Mass. IMO, it isn't appropriate to be wearing business casual to Sunday Mass.

[quote="CDNowak, post:19, topic:208638"]
The fashionable trend towards androgyny (including in dress) is often in conflict with traditional views of masculinity.

I would suggest wearing darker more conservative colors, particularly going to Mass with her family.

[/quote]

:thumbsup:

I strongly agree. Just because something looks nice, doesn't mean it's appropriate.


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