thanks for your good advice, and no, of course I don’t mind!
Guanophore - thank you for the long reply, those are very wise words.
I do know some of the people who ask me for money may have more than I do.
Living on a minimal, minimal amount of money myself, I often get a bit between a rock and a hard place here - when I share it usually isn’t from my superfluence, but it may mean that I will not buy myself something healthier to eat. Mine is a kind of complicated situation too. As a street performer, I kind of depend on the generosity of others as well…
But I do have that spirit of generosity, and I want to hold on to that (but not the sruples. but the spirit - yes!) I believe that God will povide, that we can share and still have enough.
But like Betsy said - it is the Spirit I need to listen to.
Sometimes I even get a little angry inside, thinking I may have given some of my money that i could really have used myself to somebody who may just use it for drugs or alcohol. But then, on th eother side - what is that anger about??? if I feel like that, I want to pray. For the person I gave to, for myself, for everyone. Because that again is not in the sense of the spirit of generosity, or the spirit of love. Love casts out anger… and fear.
Sometimes when I play my music a guy comes up to me and wants to sell me old books and stuff. Or asks me for some change. Often I give him some. Today I said from the beginning that I couldn’t do it every time. And felt guilty afterward. But I am really not sure what he spends the money on. He was nice today, anyway. Didn’t ask me for anything. He has given me stuff before too.
Sometimes I just feel like sharing. I think I kind of KNOW when the Spirit leads me. WHERE the Spirit leads me. My own scruples confuse me sometimes. And sometimes it is hard to differentiate between scruples and just plain not-wanting-to-give… but it’s a learning process.
Life is beautiful, I know that.