Hi Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
This year I am going to discern on my religious vocation. I plan to enter a Religious Brotherhood. As we all know, there is a vow of poverty. I would say, this is one of the hardest vows I could think of yet. I was raised in a not-so-poor and not-so-rich family. When I became a CPA, that was the start of me being able to buy things I want. I could afford to travel and treat my family. When I was still studying, my goal was to be an accountant. Never had I imagined myself being religious. It was while I was working when I delved into my faith. And from there, I began to think that I might be called to religious life. Last 2019, I searched for congregations I could join. And this year, I met some of them. That said, I know there is huge possibility that I may be joining one of them. As this is the year of my discernment, everyday I try to reflect on things spiritually. Then abruptly, I thought that I already moved on from my past. Before thinking of being religious, I always dreamed of travelling for tourism to US. This has been my motivation when I was still in college. Now, this dream is haunting me. I am thinking that maybe, if I become religious, I will never have a chance to go to this place.
I know it sounds petty and immature but it drains me every time I think of it. It perplexes me to the point that I have to choose one. I don’t have problem with vow of poverty, though of course, it will be a challenge, I am just afraid that this particular dream will continue to haunt me down through time; and I don’t want that to happen.
Could you offer some advice?
Thank you so much!