God bless my messy wife!

I’ve read some posts from new husbands who were having a difficult time adjusting to married life. Evidently, their brides are chastizing them for things like leaving a spoon on the kitchen counter, or putting a towel on the wrong rack.

After hearing these things, I’m glad to have a very cluttered household. My wife of 26 years, bless her heart, cannot throw anything out. Every corner of our house has stuff crammed into it. Stuff falls out of the cupboards and closets when the doors are opened because they are so full. The other day I could not make a sandwich for lunch because the kitchen counter simply did not have one square foot of space available; her cannisters, food processor, plastic jars full of old pencils, margarine tubs full of vegetable bag twist-ties (“We might need them”), etc, covered the entire counter space.

There have been times when I’ve felt like sweeping my arm across the entire counter, pushing all the stuff onto the floor, just to make a point about it. However, a good husband who loves his wife, controls any anger he might sometimes feel. Don’t worry; I will never behave that badly.

At least she doesn’t chastize me about my messes, and we get along very well. Anybody you live with for 26 years is bound to exhibit some very annoying habits, and I would marry her again if I had it to do over. Thank God she’s not a compulsive, “neat freak.” I’m counting my blessings.

Any comments? God bless… - Rob


I must say “thanks!” for this post. I am one of those messy wives :D. My husband and I just got married this past July and he is definitely the “neat freak” of the two of us. However, he rarely comments on my messiness, and when he does, he does it in a loving way, which, in turn, makes me want to be cleaner and more organized. Small things like putting a chip-clip on the chip bag when I’m finished, hanging my towel up, and rinsing the dishes right away make him the happiest man on earth. :slight_smile: I am very blessed! I grew up in a household with a very well organized mother, who said that when I got married things would change. Well, they have a little, but for the most part, I’m still the messy girl I was back then. Maybe once this baby comes along, I’ll be less messy. Although, I do have to admit that part of it comes from the fact that I work full-time, so being pregnant with it takes all my energy away. :frowning:

I am glad somebody else has a happy hubby who is not looking for too much clean.

What a lucky woman your wife is-- such a loving husband.

In all fairness to “Mrs. Messy,” (first post), she works four days a week at a demanding job, and also does almost all the cooking, shopping, homework checking, school & parish volunteering, etc.

If there were no kids, and if I could make enough income to support our suburban lifestyle without her job, perhaps she’d get things picked up. As it is, I’m just grateful for all she does, and have resolved to keep my mouth shut about the clutter.

I have offered to take a week of vacation from my job to clear things out, but she doesn’t want me tampering with her kitchen, closets, and other accumulations.

Mary Poppins doesn’t exist, as far as I can tell. Blessings… - Rob

this has to be the funniest thing I ever read on this forum. the last baby comment that made me laugh this much what when DH was in the hospital with her first and said she could not wait to get home so she could sleep all night.

Excellent, I am sitting here surrounded by mess, all the kids are out, and I am wasting time on the net!

Thanks ;). I’m just being optomistic, even though I know it won’t happen. :smiley: However, I thought maybe my domesticity would pop out with the baby…or more was hoping. My parents used to have this long running joke and nickname for me…They would call me Jenniferella whenever I would complain about doing any work. Also, they would say to people (not total strangers so it wasn’t really embarrassing), “Jennifer’s main domestic quality is that she lives in a house.” And everyone would laugh. I was trained to do pretty much anything and everything (being the oldest of 6 and having a very tidy mother), so I know HOW - I just don’t FEEL like it ;).

When I live by myself, I can be very neat and tidy, but somehow having other people in the house makes it incredibly difficult to keep up.

It’s just my husband and me, but somehow, since yesterday, we have accumulated an entire sinkful of dirty dishes, including 9 coffee cups.

By myself, it would take at least a week to accumulate that many dirty dishes. And my husband isn’t even home for most of the day - so I have no idea where all this stuff is coming from. :confused:

I’m glad my husband isn’t too worried about it, though. He’s like the OP - he’s just glad not to be nagged about every little thing. :smiley:

Do you have any single brothers? :smiley:

I’m exactly like your wife. :o

Mine does!!! :smiley: Although, I’m not sure how he’d be with a messy wife. :stuck_out_tongue:

I am messy, too, but my husband is not so understanding. It’s not that he is demanding, just that the type of clutter you describe would really stress him out. I joined “Flylady” (www.flylady.net) almost a year ago, and she helped me so much with the clutter. Since I’ve been pregant (about 3 months), I’ve been pretty nauseated, so my Flylady routines have just about disappeaed temoporarily, but I’m starting to feel better, so I need to get back into things.

Even though I can handle a lot more “chaos” than my DH, I want him to like coming home, so I work on it. I don’t work outside the home, but I do homeschool our 5 kids, so I’m still busy. The good thing about Flylady is that she helps you where you are with baby steps that anyone can do if they want to change.

But, if you and your wife are fine with things the way they are, then I say “To each his own!”

(Side note to Lotusblossum: IMHO, I think maybe things will get better for you when the baby comes, especially if you get to stay home with him. You will be exhausted and overwhelmed for awhile, but, for me, being home all day made me take a little more pride in the appearance of my house.)

Thanks Susie g! That’s what I’m hoping. I’m much more organized when I have time and energy. I called in sick one day a few weeks ago because I was just plain exhausted from being pregnant. I was able to sleep in 4 hrs and still get the apartment straightened, watch a little TV, do some knitting, go online, and make a complete homecooked dinner for my hubby (which NEVER happens when I work - he didn’t even KNOW I could cook b/c we eat things like spaghetti and meals out of a box when I’m working) before he got home. :smiley: It was incredibly nice and he half-jokingly told me I could quit my job anytime I wanted. Which, if it wasn’t for financial reasons, I would do that. He still mentions that day and how he can’t wait for me to stay-at-home once the baby is born! :slight_smile: I can honestly say I would prefer a day of that to a day cramped in a cubicle, making my back and eyes hurt from leaning over a desk, staring at a computer screen all day!

Rob… I love you!!! Thanks for that post!!! I am a messy wife but I acknowledge my hubby is messier than I am.

I love the FlyLady! Still, it made a big difference to know that my husband loved me more than he loved having a clean house. You can’t hire that part out.

Rob–Your wife sounds like a dynamo and she is lucky you are able to prioritize her involvement and activity over just neatness.

Me…I’m pretty type-A and compulsive about my environment–which extends to the cars I drive, places we vacation, etc… I know my husband appreciates it on one level–because things are generally pretty organized for him, but I know I can also drive him crazy if I go overboard on the “white tornado” routine or insistence that things be in perfect order. I have learned over time to leave his things alone. Natural consequences work for adults as well as kids when it comes to losing, misplacing, etc., but I do control my urge to step in and rescue or organize.

My husband used to make fun of how messy my apartment/room was back before we got married. He was the neat freak. But then…sometime between the Nuptial Mass and the car ride home…something WEIRD happened…I think his neatness transferred to me…and he got my messiness.

Now I am the one who makes the bed, agonizes over clothes/towels left on floor, etc. Hahah it’s actually quite amusing…I don’t think i nag yet though…it’s only been about 6 months since the wedding and we make jokes all the time about him being more slovenly, and my not. I was straightening our bedroom the other day, and left the room for FIVE SECONDS, and when I returned the blue jeans I had just folded and put away were miraculously on the floor…I could hear cackling from the bathroom… I couldn’t help but laugh too.

Agreed. My husband of 26 years is still a neat freak (think Adrian Monk), but there is dust on my endtables, and probably still a load of clothes in the dryer, and all those recipes I cut out becuse I just have to try them…

Living with me is helping him burn off his purgatory. :smiley:

That’s hilarious!!! My nickname was “Cindermegan” for the very same reason and my dad even had this silly little song he would sing that sounded somewhat like the song the mice sing in the Disney version of Cinderella (you know, when they’re fixing her ballgown?:smiley: ).

And I’m with you… here sitting on the 'puter when there’s ummmmm EVERYTHING to be done.


LOL! :rotfl: My parents attempted to sing it to that song, but Jenniferella is one too many syllables, so it came out sounding nothing like it.

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