There is a moment in Jesus’ life that can answer your concerns.
As Jesus hung on the cross, dying, struggling to breath which He could only do by dragging up to breathe from His tortured body, abandoned by friends, his mission seemingly in tatters, He also cried out, "My God, My God, why have You abandoned Me?’ So your son, also, cried out in his mental and physical suffering, “My God, why have You abandoned me?”
Do you not think Jesus understood perfectly dear mother.
I wrote this at one time. Perhaps something in it speaks for you a little?
The grieving heart
Dear Mother Mary, please comfort each grieving heart in the waves of pain that frequently engulf it. Sustain it when dark mourning closes out all light of comfort and hope , and when prayer seems no longer possible.
Obtain the gentle understanding and warm companionship of others to nurture the stricken heart and lead it towards hope and new life. Sustain it with faith and bring it to true generosity of spirit even in its sorrow.
You deeply experienced the laceration of suffering and bereavement, Mother. It entered and filled your Son’s life, piercing your soul, echoing through all your years. You watched your beloved Child follow a path that led to His earthly annihilation. Grieving, you were powerless to murmur or to prevent Him who must be about His divine Father’s affairs. You suffered, prayed, and loved in silent faith, as so many parents must.
Like innumerable mothers (parents)throughout the ages, you watched with anguish the struggling progress of your Son’s destiny, amid rising danger of circumstance and others’ opposition. Finally, you beheld as others’ selfishness, unbelief, ambition, fear and pride, destroyed Him who only loved them and sought their salvation.
He hung there, your boy, cruelly nailed, struggling for breath and faith. You helplessly watched life drain from His pure, loved body as His struggle deepened in pain, fever and weakness. You would have protected Him whom you loved in excruciating intensity, but you could never choose to betray the divine intention that entrusted Him to you. “Your will be done!” your being replied endlessly with His to the divine Father.
Have pity on the anguished helplessness issuing from inability to alleviate the sufferings of dear ones. Mother crucified of heart, as we suffer with our dear ones’ pain and grief, and our terrible loss, please obtain for us such courage, obedience and selflessness as your own and His, so that the highest will of divine love shall be fulfilled in each of our lives.
Mother have pity on that terrible grief, that chasm of loss, the emptiness that stretches before the bereaved as they embrace their dead (or behold their broken families) in their desolate hearts, as you have done. Let them find hope in Your dead son’s resurrection even when their hearts are still frozen with grief.