OK… I’m looking at Ch. 16. As with many stories of the Old Testament, there’s a serious case of The Stupid running amuk among the Israelites… if the effects weren’t so sad, it would almost be a script for a sitcom.
Korah: Hey, Moses! You’re so stuck-up! What makes you special? God’s with all of us. Look at this mob I have with me! We’re revolting against you.
Moses: Oh yeah? Well, tomorrow, we’ll let God choose who he thinks is leader, so bring your incense. Look, you Levites are already special, right? Isn’t that enough for you, getting to work near the tabernacle? You guys aren’t revolting against Aaron and myself; you’re revolting against God. Hey, Dathan and Abiram-- c’mere.
Dathan & Abiram: Uh, how about no? You took us out of a fabulous country and are making us wander the desert until we die. Sob, sob, sob, poor us. You think we’re your slaves or something? Whatever.
Moses: Grrr! I haven’t done anything wrong to them. I’ve never taken anything from them. God, please ignore their sacrifices. Grrr.
Moses: Aaron and Korah, offer your incense. And Korah’s followers, you offer your incense, too.
God: Hey, Moses and Aaron, step aside so I can get rid of these people.
Moses & Aaron: Eep! No, God! Are you going to kill everyone just because of one man?
God: OK. Moses, tell the audience to get away from Korah, Dathan & Abiram.
Moses: Everyone needs to get away from their tents, and don’t touch anything that belongs to them, or else they’ll be swept away because of their sins!
(Dathan & Abiram hang around with their families next to them, and their families ignore a clear warning that uh, that’s not the best place to be standing.)
Moses: OK! If these guys die like regular humans, then God doesn’t have anything to do with me. But if something totally improbable happens in the next few moments, uh, yeah, these guys are treating God with contempt.
(Cue something totally improbable happening.)
The Crowd: Eeep! We’re all going to DIE!
(And God smites Korah’s fellow rebels while he’s at it.)
God: Hey, don’t waste the censers. Why don’t you recycle them for the altar, so they can remind people not to mess around, okay?
The Crowd: Hey, uh, Moses, you dork, what about all those people who died yesterday? You really shouldn’t be leader if stuff like that’s going to happen. You think you’re special or something? Hey, let’s form a mob and start a rebellion! This will end well…
God: Hey, Moses, step aside so I can smite these idiots…
Moses: Eep! Aaron, quick, go make a sacrifice! God’s not impressed and he’s about to unleash a plague.
Aaron appeases God, but not before the plague kills more people